Called To Brag Comic Strips - Page 1
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255 Results for Called To Brag
View 1 - 10 results for called to brag comic strips. Discover the best "Called To Brag" comics from Dilbert.com.
Thursday June 23,
1994
Tags #called to brag, #dogbert headhunting service, #no skill, #pays 100k, #dogbert job
Transcript
"This is Dogbert's Headhunting Service." "I've got a job that pays a hundred thousand per year and requires no skill whatsoever." "No, I didn't say it's available. I called to brag about my own job."
Thursday January 12,
2012
Tags #gloating, #rich people, #leadership experts, #brag about weath, #comforatble
Transcript
Boss: Leadership experts say I should never brag about my wealth. Let's just say I'm "comfortable." So very, very comfortable. Alice: Yeah, this isn't working.
Monday January 29,
1990
Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #so-called, #unwritten rules, #porcupines, #balloon store
Transcript
Dilbert and Dogbert sit at the desk. Dogbert says, "I've decided to write down all of the so-called 'unwritten rules.'" Dogbert looks at a piece of paper and says, "So far I have 'Don't phone after ten p.m.' and . . . Uh . . ." Dilbert asks, "That's it?" Dogbert asks, "How about 'Don't throw porcupines in a balloon store?'"
Tuesday July 03,
1990
Tags #dinosaur, #bob, #inside, #job, #sitting, #yuppie, #bigots, #called
Transcript
Bob the Dinosaur stands at a man's door and says, "Hi. I'm Bob. I called earlier about the babysitting job." The man says, "To be honest, we didn't know you were a dinosaur when you called . . ." Bob replies, "That's okay. I didn't know you were yuppie bigots."
Saturday March 28,
1992
Tags #Dilbert, #mouse, #office, #rid, #twenty, #five, #years, #called, #Women, #movement, #butt
Transcript
Dilbert watches as a woman says to the janitor, "Willy, there's a mouse in my office. Please get rid of it." Willy replies, "Haw haw! Twenty-five years of the so-called Women's Movement and nothing is different!" The woman says, "Do it now, or I'll fire your butt." Willy says, "This part is a little different."
Monday June 12,
1995
Tags #two week retreat, #mountains, #management retreat, #four star hotle, #no room, #brag, #employees, #glib, #business
Transcript
The Boss says to Dilbert, Wally and Alice, "Have fun working. I'm off to the two-week management retreat in the mountains." The Boss continues, "It's so sad you can't come. I guess there isn't room at the four-star hotel." As he flees from books and folders being hurled at him, the Boss thinks, "Now I know why it's called a retreat."
Saturday March 15,
1997
Tags #let me telecommute, #called in sick, #total days off, #working for nothing, #ahead in principle, #stupidity is principle
Transcript
Dilbert, who is wearing a bathrobe, tells Dogbert, "I convinced my boss to let me telecommute." Dogbert asks, "How?" Dilbert replies, "Well, technically, I called in sick, which comes out of my time bank for total days off." Dilbert continues, "So, technically, I'm working for nothing, but I'm ahead in principle." Dogbert says, "WAY ahead, now that stupidity is a principle."
Sunday May 28,
1995
Tags #putting in charge, #biff, #big improvements for free, #recommend ways, #increase profit, #spend mpney, #make money, #more money, #so called, #report tomorrow, #lava lamps, #few bucks
Transcript
The Boss enters Dilbert's cubicle and says, "I'm putting you in charge of project 'BIFF.'" The Boss says "'BIFF' stands for 'Big Improvements For Free.'" The Boss says, "Your job is to recommend ways to increase profits without spending money or changing anything." Dilbert says, "You have to spend money to make money." The Boss says, "If we HAD money to spend we wouldn't need to MAKE money. Duh." Dilbert says, "The point is that you can make MORE money than you spend." The Boss says, "I'm not following your so-called 'point.'" The Boss says, "Logically, anything I don't understand is unimportant. Have your report tomorrow." The Boss sits at his desk, holding Dilbert's report. The Boss says, "So, you recommend . . . Replacing all managers with lava lamps." Dilbert reaches into his pocket and says, "Here's a few bucks for the lava lamps."
Saturday July 14,
2001
Tags #layoff planning, #fire people, #creeps, #excessive nose haor, #called doctor, #five minute meeting
Transcript
Caption reads: "Layoff Planning." Catbert sits with the Boss at a table. The Boss says, "Let's fire all the people who give us the creeps..." "...All the people with excessive nose hair and anyone who insists on being called 'doctor.'" Carol enters into the cubicle of a man with long nose hair and bug eyes. She says, "You've got a five-minute meeting on Friday, Dr. Wolfington."
Saturday December 15,
2001
Tags #meeting called, #discuss issues, #assign tasks, #waste of time, #meetings, #become lifeform, #reproducing human josts
Transcript
Dilbert walks into a meeting and asks, "Who called this meeting?" The male coworker replies, "We thought you did." The coworker continues, "I think we should discuss issues and assign tasks so it's not a complete waste of time." Dilbert responds, "Maybe meetings have become a lifeform capable of calling themselves and thus reproducing via human hosts." The male coworker turns to the female coworker and says, "Good issue." She replies, "Wow!"