Ceo Stepped Down Comic Strips - Page 1
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1000 Results for Ceo Stepped Down
View 1 - 10 results for ceo stepped down comic strips. Discover the best "Ceo Stepped Down" comics from Dilbert.com.
Friday June 27,
2003
Tags #record loss, #press release, #ceo stepped down, #100 million, #tenure, #shareholders, #bought stock
Transcript
Dilbert is working on his computer. Wally is standing behind him. Dilbert says, "Here's the press release about our record loss." Dilbert reads, "The CEO stepped down after earning more than $100 million more than the company itself during his tenure." Dilbert continues reading, "In a message to shareholders, he said, 'Ha ha! Maybe you should have bought stock in me!! Who's your daddy?!!"
Monday November 11,
1991
Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #ceo, #old, #job, #stressful, #roses, #afford
Transcript
Dilbert says to Dogbert, "I stepped down as CEO and took my old job back - it's less stressful." Dogbert replies, "Sometimes you have to stop and smell the roses." Dilbert says, "Exactly." Dogbert says, "Too bad we can't afford any roses now."
Monday May 14,
2012
Tags #anger, #discrimination, #Women, #containment unit, #steel vault, #Men, #co workers, #job, #condesending, #freak out, #death, #business, #medical
Transcript
CEO: Settle down, honey. I didn't ask for your opinion. I'm telling you what we're going to do. Dilbert: Gaaa!!! Lower the containment unit! She's going to blow. CEO: When will it be safe? Dilbert: Right after you die.
Sunday November 03,
2013
Tags #hypocrisy, #respect, #succeed, #treat each other well, #video recording, #google glasses, #recording confidential info, #fired, #insulting, #final check, #name calling, #ironic
Transcript
CEO: We only succeed when we treat each other with respect. Are you video-recording me with those Google glasses? Dilbert: Huh? CEO: You're fired for recording a confidential meeting! Pack your bags, you worthless piece of garbage! I got your final check right here! Dilbert: These are my regular glasses. Having cleared that up, you were saying something about respect? CEO: Settle down, four-eyes. This isn't over.
Wednesday February 12,
2014
Tags #conversation, #executives, #leadership, #acceptable behavior, #alight goals, #company objectives, #deal directly, #conflict, #maintain positive attitude, #impressive
Transcript
CEO: Who's up for some leadership? Watch me define acceptable behavior, align your goals with company objectives, prioritize respect, deal directly with conflict, maintain a positive attitude, and pretend to care! Wally: That would be impressive. CEO: Settle down, Bilbo.
Friday June 16,
2017
75 Slides Too Long
Tags #public speaking, #presentation, #length, #brevity, #powerpoint
Transcript
Asok: I have 75 slides to discuss in ten minutes. Save your questions to the end. CEO: Sit down and never talk to me again as long as you live. Dilbert: How'd the CEO presentation go? Asok: It was 75 slides too long.
Saturday October 07,
1995
Tags #planes going down, #one parachute, #harvard mba, #dog, #knapsack, #old joke, #ceo grabs, #animals
Transcript
Dogbert stands in the cabin of the corporate jet wearing a parachute on his back. He says to the CEO, "It looks like the plane's going down and there's only one parachute." The CEO looks shocked. The CEO grabs the parachute and screams, "Give it to me!!! I'm a CEO with a Harvard MBA. You're a dog!!" Dogbert and the CEO fall through the air wearing packs on their backs. Dogbert says to the CEO, "That's my knapsack." As some fruit and loose paper falls out of the CEO's pack, he says, "Old joke."
Thursday August 02,
2012
Tags #big business, #executives, #profits down, #increased compensation, #incentive, #feel underpaid
Transcript
CEO: Profits are way down, but don't worry your little heads about it. The board increased my annual compensation to $60 million. Now I finally have an incentive to do a good job! Un-oh. I'd better hurry because I'm already starting to feel underpaid again.
Friday October 17,
2008
Tags #stepping down, #ceo, #money stolen, #hellhole, #huge bag of cash, #helicopter, #writes book, #buy book
Transcript
Dogbert says, "I am stepping down as CEO so I can spend more time with this money I stole from this hellhole." Dogbert says, "I need you and you to carry huge bags of cash to my helicopter." Wally says, "The worst part is that if he ever writes a book, I'll probably buy it."
Friday November 14,
2014
Hiring A Co Ceo
Tags #ceos, #executives, #wages, #work ethic, #co ceo, #break tie, #manioulate, #pay, #hire, #split salary, #money
Transcript
CEO: I decided to hire a co-CEO to share the job with me. Dilbert: I assume you know that having a co-CEO does not mean you get paid the same while working half as much. CEO: Can I fire you? Co-CEO: No, we need a third CEO to break the tie.