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A man says to Dilbert and Wally, "Hi, I'm Tim Zumph, writer of the famous memo of February third, 1978 . . ." Tim continues, "I remember it so clearly. My boss walked right up and said 'Nice memo, Tim.' And it wasn't even time for my annual performance review." Tim shows them a document and says, "I still keep a copy with me." Wally points at the memo and says, "Typo . . ."
A guy with cold sweat hands a paper to Dilbert. he says, "I finished my work despite having a slight flu. Here's your copy." Dilbert says, "Um... you should give that to Wally." The guy says, "Wally isn't on this project." Dilbert says, "I know. I just figure he has the least reason to live."
Wally stands infront of his cubicle. The Boss says, "Due to space constraints, some people will have to share cubicles." The Boss reads from a sheet of paer. "According to the list, your new roommate will be... the copy machine." Wally sits at his desk, his head pressed into the butt of the large woman standing behind him at the copy machine. She says, "Is it claustrophobic in here or is it just me?"
Wally and dilbert stand in front of the boss. Their shirts are torn and dirty, thier faces are burnt and cut. Dilbert says, "The huge product requirements document was destroyed in a freak accident." The boss says, "I'll ask marketing to send you a new copy." As Dilbert and Wally walk away, wally says, "I told you we can't stop them one-bee-at-a-time. We have to go for the queen."
Wally: I recently realized how much I enjoy listening to myself talk. The alternative involves listening to people who are boring and wrong about everything. Dilbert: That's not... Wally: Shhh! Don't ruin a perfect moment.
Asok: Have you ever mentored anyone who went on to be successful? Wally: Depends on your definition of success. Asok: Well, at minimum, they'd need to be alive and gainfully employed. Wally: What's your ruling on comas?
Alice: I'm back from vacation. Did you have any problems covering for me? Wally: No problem at all I saved all of your work for when you got back. Alice: I hate you with the heat of a thousand suns! Wally: How was your vacation? Was it relaxing?
Dilbert: Once again, none of you responded to my emails this past week. So I put together a project time line that reflects neither consensus nor reality. Wally: Can I have a copy so I can mock it? Dilbert: No, I'm still enjoying the illusion of progress.