Couch Comic Strips - Page 1

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

186 Results for Couch

View 1 - 10 results for couch comic strips. Discover the best "Couch" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags conversation, interviews, biggest mistake, learned from t, old couch, chewing, starbucks, never tell story

View Transcript

Transcript

Interview question. Boss: Describe your biggest mistake and what you learned from it. Man: I tried to get rid of an old couch by chewing it into tiny pieces and leaving one handful at a time at a Starbucks. Boss: And what did you learn? Man: I learned I should never tell that story.

Dilbert Characters

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags couch, problem, therapy, Dilbert, mother, mom, evil, swat

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert lies on a couch and his psychologist sits next to the couch taking notes. The therapist says, "Your problem is my mother." Dilbert asks, "YOUR mother? I don't even know your mother. How could she be my problem?" The psychiatrist says, "She's an evil woman and she lives under the couch." An old woman says, "What you need is a good swat!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags christmas presents, couch, holidays, shopping, support, Dilbert, stressed, eliminated, flabmaster, socks, commercials, christmas, muscle

View Transcript

Transcript

A frazzled man says to Dilbert, "Normally I'm all stressed out during the holidays, but not this year." The man continues, "I eliminated my shopping stress by getting everybody the 'Flabmaster Thigh-Toning Support Socks.'" Dilbert replies, "Their commercials sound better the closer you get to Christmas." The man says, "You can build muscle just lying on the couch!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dogbert, noriko, bob, dinosaur, extinct, couch, house, credenza, belmonts, crazy glue, drawer

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert says, "Noriko, I'd like you to meet Bob the Dinosaur." Noriko and Bob say "Hi" to each other. Noriko says, "I thought dinosaurs were all extinct." Dogbert replies, "No, they were just hiding. We found Bob behind the couch." Noriko says, "I wish we had one at our house." Bob says, "Look in your credenza. The Belmonts live in the 'Krazy Glue' drawer."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags elbonians, afford, just mud, couch shopping network, manage resources, sold country, little jars, molten lava, earths core

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits in his cubicle. He asks Dogbert, "How could the Elbonians afford to buy this company? Their whole country is just mud." Dogbert imagines a television screen showing an Elbonian holding a container with the figure "$119.95" above him. Dogbert answers, "They packaged the mud and sold it as a cosmetic on the 'Couch Shopping Network.' They made trillions." Hugging his knees to his chest, Dilbert comments, "At least they know how to manage resources." Dogbert replies, "They sold their entire country in little jars. Most Elbonians perished in molten lava at the Earth's core."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags be my couch, dysfunctional internet connections, huge ball yarn, human resources, treatment prgrams, used as furniture, yarn therpay, ropes, business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits across from Catbert's desk. Dilbert asks, "Does Human Resources offer any treatment programs for people with dysfunctional internet connections?" Catbert shows Dilbert a pamphlet and says, "I recommend the 'yarn therapy.' You'll be wrapped in a huge ball of yarn and used as furniture in my office." Dilbert reads the brochure and asks, "Is this like the famous 'Ropes' course where I learn to solve problems as part of a team?" Catbert replies, "Exactly, except here you learn to be my couch."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dogbert, ratbert, couch, living room, conversation, gaps in conversation, fill in gaps, random

View Transcript

Transcript

Ratbert and Dogbert are on the couch. Dogbert holds a remote control and leans against a cushion. Ratbert says, "Do you mind if I fill the gaps in our conversation with random observations?" Dogbert says, "No." Ratbert says, "So, you got a little pillow there, eh? Eh?" Ratbert says, "When I say, "Eh?", that's your cue to answer."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags goal to motivate, build global satellite netwrok, feel sdifferent, Right, energetic feeling, pinned, burning couch, dizzy, budget cuts

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss and Dilbert sit at a table. The Boss hands Dilbert a piece of paper and says, "This is the goal that will motivate you for the next year." Dilbert reads from the piece of paper: "'Build a global satellite network. Budget: $12,000.'" Dilbert looks at the Boss and says, "Motivation feels much different from what I imagined." Dilbert continues, "I was expecting a light, energetic feeling." Dilbert continues speaking and illustrates with his hands, "But it's more like being pinned under a burning couch." Dilbert puts his hand to his head and says, "Whoo, I'm getting dizzy." Dilbert stands up slowly and says, "I'd better lie down until the motivation wears off." The Boss leaves the room with Dilbert lying on the table. The Boss says, "He's going to be trouble during the next round of budget cuts."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags awkward, couch, green, lights on, meet new girlfreind, save energy, smooch, turn lights, dinosaur

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert and his girlfriend are sitting on the couch. Dilbert asks, "Do you mind if I turn off the lights to... um... save energy?" She replies, "I'm green with that." The lights are off. There are only sounds of kissing: "Mmm.. smooch smooch." "Smooch smooch." Dilbert's girlfriend turns on the light to find Dilbert on top of Bob. Bob says, "I came down to meet your new girlfriend but now I think it'll be awkward."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dogbert, cable compnay, new glasses, couch, couch tech support

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert works for the cable company "If your picture is fuzzy then get new glasses." "If my glasses are theproblem, why does the couch look perfectly clear?" "Good question. Please hold while I transfer your to couch tech support."