Cruelty Comic Strips - Page 1
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62 Results for Cruelty
View 1 - 10 results for cruelty comic strips. Discover the best "Cruelty" comics from Dilbert.com.
Saturday October 11,
2003
Tags top down budget, bottom up budget, ignorance, cruelty, lying, optimism, cancel, wasted hour
Transcript
Man: "I averaged the top-down budget with the bottom-up budget." "As you can see, the ignorance and cruelty canceled out the lying and optimism." Alice: "Do you have anything to cancel out feelings of a wasted hour?" Man: "Have you tried despair?"
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marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Thursday October 24,
2013
Tags cruelty, inventions, joking, meat bags, robot, capability, humor, learn humor
Transcript
Robot: Hey, meat-bags! I'm here to take your jobs! Ha ha! Not really. I won't have that capability for two or three years. Dilbert: When did you learn humor? Robot: Humor? I was going for cruelty.
Friday April 22,
2011
Tags cruelty, office workers, mindless task, intern, time, little value, jump out, nice way to say
Transcript
Dilbert: Asok, there's no nice way to say this... do this mindless task for me because you're nothing but an intern and your time has very little value. Asok: There probably was a nice way to say that. Dilbert: It didn't jump out.
Saturday January 15,
2011
Tags cruelty, managers & supervisors, couldn't be worse, bad idea, Funny, project is bad idea, business
Transcript
The Boss says, "How's everything going?" Dilbert says, "It couldn't be worse." Dilbert says, "I was the only person who said this project is a bad idea. Then you assigned it to me." The Boss says, "It's funnier when I make them say it." Dilbert says, "Grrrr"
Saturday March 19,
2011
Tags belittle subordinates, cruelty, evil intensions, fill in, managers & supervisors, on vacation, fill in for boss, business
Transcript
The Boss says, "Alice, I need you to fill in for me while I'm on vacation." Alice says, "I can't wait to belittle my subordinates for not doing the things I only imagined telling them to do." The Boss says, "Why would you do that?" Alice says, "Why would you ask that?"
Tuesday June 14,
2011
Tags cruelty, frustration, idea, never work, reject hypothesis, self doubt
Transcript
Man: Your idea will never work. Dilbert: At what point did you reject the hypothesis that you're too dumb to understand how good the idea is? I'm becoming even less of a people person.
Tuesday June 28,
2011
Tags annoyance, cruelty, impossible, totally worthless, vacations
Transcript
Alice: It's impossible to get anything done this time of year because everyone who isn't totally worthless is on vacation. Dilbert: None taken.
Wednesday July 13,
2011
Tags cruelty, deception, ignorance (knowledge), helicopter from kit, link to website, too dumb, pliers
Transcript
Carol: You should build your own helicopter from a kit. I'll send you a link to the website. It's only dangerous for people who are too dumb to know how dumb they are. Boss: Is it as easy as it sounds? I have pliers. Carol: Yes!
Thursday July 14,
2011
Tags cruelty, fraternization, friendship, new engineer, ginat dork, star wars chess set, email, set up date, romantic preference, relationships
Transcript
Carol: Have you met the new engineer? He's a gigantic dork. You two would get along great. I'll email him to set up a date with you. Is tomorrow good? Dilbert: Being a dork is not a romantic preference. Carol: He says he'll bring his "Star Wars" chess set.
Thursday July 21,
2011
Tags cruelty, embarrassment, not judeg, quality of question, technical
Transcript
Man: ... and so, that's my question. Dilbert: I try to not judge people by the quality of the technical questions they ask. Man: Is it working? Dilbert: Not even a little.

