Death & Dying Comic Strips - Page 1
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20 Results for Death & Dying
View 1 - 10 results for death & dying comic strips. Discover the best "Death & Dying" comics from Dilbert.com.
Tuesday November 29,
2011
Tags anxiety, death & dying, could go wrong, did go worng, closer to death, creepy
Transcript
Russell: This past week, everything that could go wrong did go wrong. Dilbert: Look on the bright side: you're seven days closer to death. Man: Hey! That's true! Dilbert: It's creepy when that works.
Tuesday July 24,
2012
Tags death & dying, funerals, ashes, cremation, scattered, outer space, elbonian general, intercontinental missile, burden on living
Transcript
Dilbert: When I die, I want my ashes scattered in outer space. Dogbert: Cool! I'll bribe an Elbonian general to strap you to their intercontinental missile when we test it next week. Dilbert: It's better if the dying and the ash scattering are separate events. Dogbert: Don't be a burden on the living.
Wednesday October 24,
2012
Tags death & dying, death certificate, staple on head, no return messages
Transcript
Alice: You haven't returned any of my messages, so I took the liberty of making a death certificate for you. I'll just staple it to the back of your head so everyone can see it. Are we good here?
Monday February 28,
2011
Tags afterlife, death & dying, international economic integration, secure a long term supply, rare earth, metal, rare earth metals, dying, reincarnating, 20% chance, born chinese
Transcript
The Boss says, "Our consultant will tell us how we can secure a long-term supply of rare earth metals for our products." The Boss says, "China has the most of the rare earth metals. Try dying. And reincarnating. There's a 20% chance that you'll be born Chinese." The Boss says, "What's plan B?" Dogbert says, "If the only part that goes wrong is the Chinese part, you can try dying again."
Sunday September 08,
2013
Tags death & dying, negotiating, work ethic, raise, workload, incentive, work harder, disgruntled, no meaning, dreams lie broken
Transcript
Boss: If you finish your project in twelve months, I'll give you a five percent raise. Dilbert: I would gladly give up five percent of my future pay to avoid a doubling of my workload. Boss: You don't understand. I'm giving you an incentive to work harder. Dilbert: No, I'm pretty sure you're charging me five percent of my future pay to sit here and feel disgruntled. And it's working. I hate you more than ever and I no longer find meaning in my work My dreams lie broken and empty beneath the ruins of my optimism. Boss: I can't tell if your negotiating or dying. Dilbert: It's a little of both.
Monday May 09,
2011
Tags annoyance, death & dying, health insurance, advance health care, directive, kill me directive
Transcript
Dogbert: Here's the first draft of an advance health care directive I wrote for you. Dilbert: "Kill me if I have a headache. Kill me if I'm itchy. Kill me if I complain too much." I might have some edits. Dogbert: There's your complaining again!
Saturday May 14,
2011
Tags death & dying, estate plan, inherit stuff, option, powerful incentive, saving & investment, wills, money
Transcript
Dogbert: I took the liberty of updating your estate plan. Dilbert: This gives you a powerful incentive to kill me so you can inherit my stuff. Dogbert: If it makes you feel any better, that option has always been on the table.
Friday January 27,
2012
Tags benefits of personhood, chemical nutrients, death & dying, inventions, petri dish, robot, scientific equipment, skin cells, sneezes, science
Transcript
Wally: Before I die, I plan to put some of my skin cells in a petri dish with chemical nutrients and store it inside a robot. By law, I will still be alive as long as any part of my body is functioning. My robot will enjoy the full benefits of personhood. My robot and I will live forever! Dilbert: Until it sneezes you out.
Monday June 05,
1989
Tags death & dying, sky diving
Transcript
Dilbert sits in his chair and Dogbert sits on Dilbert's legs. Dilbert says, "Look, Dogbert, give me one good reason why I shouldn't sign up for sky diving lessons." Dogbert replies, "Thud . . ." Dilbert says, "You mean 'thud . . . ouch!' or just 'thud?'"
Wednesday December 20,
2006
Tags death & dying, insurance, luck, sales, life insurance
Transcript
Bob, the unluckiest insurance agent. Bob: You're making a good decision. Man: Gaaak!

