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Dilbert: Our sales dropped to zero after you offended customers on Twitter. Did someone tell you Twitter was a video game? Narrator: One week ago. Boss: And how would I kill these trolls? Wally: With your words.
Ted: You know what would be great? I'd like to see a matrix comparing the features of our past products. Boss: Dilbert, why don't you pull that together for our next meeting! Dilbert: That would take two days and the matrix would have no practical use. The problem here is that Ted doesn't have any skin in the game. I propose that Ted has to bang his head on the table whenever he causes me to do extra work. That will help Ted make better decision about the value of my time. Ted: Never mind. Dilbert: Ninja economics!
Boss: Who wants to hear about my golf game? Alice: Maybe someone with locked-in syndrome who doesn't get any visitors. Boss: Just for that, I'm going to tell you twice. Alice: No, please. I'll do anything.
Dilbert: I heard you flew to Vegas and played pai gow all weekend. Wally: Go away. Dilbert: That's a difficult game to learn after having a few adult beverages. Wally: Drop dead. Dilbert: How'd you do? Wally: Leave me alone!
Dilbert and Dogbert hold tennis rackets. Dogbert says, "Experts say that when you have mastered the mental game, the ball will appear to grow larger." Dilbert holds a tiny ball in his hand. Dilbert replies, "Okay, but I still think these balls are not regulation size." Dogbert says, "Probably just a reflection of your lack of confidence." Dogbert walks away and says, "Three moth balls and a good story are more effective than years of lessons."
Dogbert sits on a pillow listening to a radio news broadcast. The newscaster says, "Critics continued their accusations that the management of Megaslime Corporation is made up of reptilian aliens from another planet." The newscaster continues, "A company spokesman offered to eat a bug and not enjoy it, thus proving they are not reptilian." The newscaster continues, "Critics responded by insisting on a live gerbil instead of a bug. Merv Griffin announced that he would launch a new game show based on the concept." Dogbert says, "The man is a visionary."
Dilbert swings at a ping pong ball and misses as it bounces off the ping pong table. Dilbert says, "You win, again. I sure wish I knew how you make that shot." His opponent answers, "Supernatural forces." Dilbert asks, "Really? Supernatural?" Dogbert whispers, "The mental game is SO important."
Dogbert sits on the hassock. He hears, "Boink-ouch! Boink-ouch! Boink-ouch!" Dogbert gets off the hassock and walks toward the noise. Dilbert lies face-down on the floor with juggling pins around him. Dogbert says, "Maybe juggling isn't your sport." Dilbert says, "It's not winning that counts; it's how you play the game."
Dogbert sits on the hassock laughing. Dilbert says, "I know you're only trying to make me THINK you've played a prank on me!" Dilbert says, "Well, two can play this game, my friend." Dilbert and Dogbert sit on the hassock laughing maniacally. Ratbert enters and asks, "Is this a bad time to visit?"
The Boss, Alice, Dilbert, Ted and a woman sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "Our video game division has reached a sales plateau." The Boss continues, "Kids are spending more time outside these days. There's only one thing we can do." Dilbert asks, "Diversify?" The Boss replies, "Pollute!"