Doctor Fishlips Comic Strips - Page 1
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Doctor Fishlips: Hello, Dilbert, this is Doctor Fishlips. I was wondering if you could come back for some X-rays. Dilbert: X-rays? Is that standard procedure a week after an appendectomy? Doctor Fishlips: A patient from the prison is missing... I'm told this isn't the first time, "Tiny Tom," has tried a bold escape,
Doctor Fishlips: A patient from the prison disappeared after your appendectomy. Police Officer: "Tiny tom," is a master of escape. We think he crawled into your torso during the operation. Dilbert: That's stupid. How would he get out? Police Officer: Ever see the movie, "Alien"?
Doctor: There he is... Tiny Tom the convict is clinging to this man's pancreas. Note: Sometimes it is necessary to suspend disbelief for the purpose of creating comic situations. Parents should explain to their children that convicts will rarely, if ever, cling to another person's pancreas. Doctor Fishlips: Ho ho, it appears we have also located our own nurse Woodmeyer the tramp!
carol: i have a doctor's appointment today. the boss: doctor? bah! the boss: all you need are some essential oils and a supplement or two. carol: has anyone ever survived your medical advice? the boss: some kava could fix your attitude problem.
Dilbert: I'm sick of listening to whiny idiots. Do you have a pill for that? Doctor: I sure do! I took a handful of them this morning and I feel great in spite of your complaining! How funny would it be if I make you run on a treadmill until you pass out?
Dilbert: I wonder why people get mad when I point out how dumb they are. I'm just trying to be helpful. I don't want people going through life not knowing what the problem is. I'm kind of like a doctor. Dogbert: I stopped listening back at the house.
Doctor: You've got a bad case of whatchamacallit. These pills won't fix your underlying problem, but they might give you a wicked case of hemorrhoids. And I can treat hemorrhoids, so that would feel like progress.
CEO: Our plunging productivity is all because of an eight-year-old boy named Traylor. Traylor doesn't wash his hands, he brings home every virus and germ from school, and gives it to his mom, who brings it to work with her. Dilbert: Maybe you should see a doctor. Carol: It's just allergies!
Dilbert sits on an examining table in a doctor's office. The doctor says, "Normally I'd give you six months to live." The physician continues, "But we're having a '50% off sale' today, so I'll give you a full year for the same price." Dilbert lies back on the table. The doctor says, "And you get an extra ten days if you pay cash!"
Dilbert sits in his chair and Dogbert sits on the hassock. Dilbert tells Dogbert, ". . . And the doctor gave me just a year to live." Dilbert continues, "I'm sorry, little guy . . . I don't know how you'll manage without me." Dogbert asks, "Would it be too much trouble to paint the house before you go?"