Drain Hope Comic Strips - Page 1

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303 Results for Drain Hope

View 1 - 10 results for drain hope comic strips. Discover the best "Drain Hope" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 09, 2010's comic on:


Tags #rival, #drain hope, #optimism, #yell, #freak out, #scary, #mouth open, #meeting, #business

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The Boss says, "You mission is to assassinate the motivation of my rival." The Boss says, "I want you to attend a meeting with him and drain the optimism out of his body." Man says, "What is happening to my sense of hope?" Wally says, "Let it happen."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 27, 2012's comic on:


Tags #hope for survival, #nearsighted billionaire, #hunt, #private island, #foraging situation

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Dogbert's retirement planning service Dogbert: Your only hope for survival is if a nearsighted billionaire offers to hunt you on his private island. Customer: Does that job pay well? Dogbert: It's more of a foraging situation. Customer: Must... adjust... expectations... down.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 04, 1992's comic on:


Tags #sitting, #Dilbert, #north, #equator, #water, #swirls, #clockwise, #drain, #south, #counter clockwise, #juan, #Dogbert

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Dilbert and Dogbert sit outdoors. Dilbert says, "When you're north of the equator, water swirls clockwise down the drain . . ." Dilbert continues, "South of the equator, it swirls counter-clockwise." Dogbert asks, "What's it do right on the equator?" On the equator, a woman stands in front of a sink and says, "Juan! It's just sitting there again!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 22, 1996's comic on:


Tags #elbonia, #check software, #under contract, #documentation, #elbonian language, #wiring easy, #hope to read

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The caption says, "Somewhere in Elbonia." Dilbert says to two Elbonians, "I've been assigned to check the software you're writing for us under contract." One Elbonian says, "The documentation is written in our own Elbonian language." The other asks, "Is that a problem?" Dilbert says, "That's better than I'd hoped. I was afraid nobody here knew how to write." An Elbonian responds, "Writing is easy. Someday we hope to read, too."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 26, 1996's comic on:


Tags #team building exercise, #mile from shore, #swim back, #only hope, #intelligent doplohin, #plaught, #tuna net

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Dilbert thinks as he swims through the water, "Uh-oh . . . I'm a mile from shore and too exhausted to swim back." Dilbert thinks, "My only hope is that an intelligent dolphin will see my plight and rescue me." Dilbert sees a dolphin and thinks, "I'm in luck!" The dolphin says, "Two words: tuna . . . net."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 05, 1997's comic on:


Tags #company training, #hope to learn, #bad toupee, #dead animal, #freak of nature, #general

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The caption says, "Company Training." The instructor stands at the front of the room and says, "Let's go around the room and we'll each say what we hope to learn." Alice, Wally and several other people sit in the audience. Alice says, "I hope to learn whether that thing on your head is a bad toupee, a dead animal, or a hideous freak of nature." The instructor pauses before writing on the easel and asks, "Can I call that 'general'?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 21, 1998's comic on:


Tags #hideous sycophant, #no hope, #career advancement, #lifestyle choice

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Dilbert and Allen walking down a hall. Dilbert asks, "So, Allen, what's it like to be a hideous sycophant?" Allen replies, "It's okay." Allen asks, "What's it like to have no hope of career advancement?" Dilbert responds, "Not bad." Allen and Dilbert sitting at table with food trays. Allen asks, "Were you born that way or is it a lifestyle choice?" Dilbert responds, "I'll ask my mom, but I think it was bad parenting."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 05, 1998's comic on:


Tags #budget, #project, #company startegy, #lose hope

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Dilbert and The Boss sitting at desk across from eachother. Dilbert asks, "How much budget do I have for my project?" The Boss replies, "I can't tell you." The Boss says, "If you knew what your budget was, you'd spend it all." Dilbert inquires," Can you at least tell me what our company strategy is?" The Boss responds, "No, I don't want you to lose hope."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 28, 2000's comic on:


Tags #stuck in assignment, #no hope, #succeeding, #sandwhich

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Dilbert is sitting on his sofa at home with a sandwich in his hands and ratbert is sitting on the back of the sofa. Dilbert says: "I'm stuck in an assignment that has no hope of succeeding." Ratbert laughs out loud with his hands on his belly: "Ha, ha,ha,ha,ha" Ratbert says to Dilbert: "Can I have the first bite of our sandwich?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 15, 2000's comic on:


Tags #disaster recovery plan, #help! help!, #hope to have budget

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Alice says, "Our disaster recovery plan goes something like this..." Alice points to a picture of a man screaming "Help! Help!" Alice continues, "Someday we hope to have a budget."