Elbonia Bid Comic Strips - Page 1
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176 Results for Elbonia Bid
View 1 - 10 results for elbonia bid comic strips. Discover the best "Elbonia Bid" comics from Dilbert.com.
Thursday July 21,
2005
Tags elbonia bid, nuclear war head, plans, internet, few things modified, ginat toaster, enriched bread, technology
Transcript
"We won the Elbonia bid, but I had to promise we'd give them plans to build a nuclear warhead." "Don't worry. I got the plans off the Internet and I modified a few things." "Now all we need is some highly enriched bread."
Sunday October 17,
2010
Tags elbonia, bribe, monkey god, oobanoobah, minister of mud, steal, office
Transcript
The Boss says, "We'll lose the Elbonian Project unless we give their minister of mud some? incentive." Wally says, "You mean a bribe?" The Boss says, "No. A bribe would be illegal." The Boss says, "Take a bag of gold to Elbonia and leave it by the statue of the monkey god, Oobanoobah." The Boss says, "If Oobanoobah does not accept your offering, by Elbonian law it becomes unclaimed property." The Boss says, "Take the gold to the unclaimed property desk at the ministry of mud." The Boss says, "Ring the bell and ask for the minister of mud. Give him the unclaimed property and a copy of our bid." Wally says, "What if the monkey god accepts the gold and I'm the only witness?" The Boss says, "What?" Wally says, "How much monkey god gold are we talking?"
Monday November 24,
2014
Winning The Bid
Tags bidding, executives, lying, outsourcing, projects, winning bid, good news, secretly subcontract, scream, presentation
Transcript
Dilbert: The good news is that we had the winning bid for the project. The less-good news is that we don't make the product we just sold, nor could we make it for the price we bid. My plan is to put out an RFP to secretly subcontract the work to a bigger liar. CEO: That could work.
Sunday November 24,
2019
Manufacturing In Elbonia
Tags managers & supervisors, business, out source, elbonia, money, government, reputation
Transcript
boss: we're moving our manufacturing operations to elbonia to save money. dilbert: are you worried about elbonian government's reputation? boss: nah. i try to stay out of the weeds. dilbert: they're building concentration camps and rounding up dissenters. they intenionally poisoned a hundred thousand people in this country. they are habitual stealers of intellectual property, and they routinely ignore agreements they have signed. and they have a well-known goal of weakening other countries so they can dominate the world. boss: why can you just admit i'm saving money?
Tuesday May 05,
2020
Sending Data To Elbonia
Tags business, business ethics, proprietary, data, elbonia, internet, monitor, activity, conversation
Transcript
boss with face mask: our security team says you have been sending our proprietary data to elbonia. elbonian with face mask: you can't prove that. boss: i monitor all of your internet activities. elbonian: i monitor all of your internet activity, too. boss: then let's forget we had this conversation.
Monday June 29,
2020
Cooties In Elbonia
Tags cooties, deny, elbonia, managers & supervisors, outbreak, science, symptom, technology, news
Transcript
boss: the news says there's a major outbreak of cooties in elbonia. dilbert: i don't think cooties is a real thing. boss: experts say one of the symptoms of cooties is "denying science."
Friday January 08,
2021
Sales To Elbonia
Tags business, government policy, sales, sale, elbonia, government, ban, accomplices
Transcript
boss: i'm happy to announce that we just made a huge sale in elbonia. dilbert: are you aware that last week our government banned all sales to elbonia? boss: before you go blabbing that all over the place remember that all of you are accomplices.
Wednesday April 20,
2011
Tags time travel, elbonia, time, 70 years future, great grandson, set thing, won't work out, cave, pool, monster, gun
Transcript
Dilbert: I hope I'm not calling too late. What time is it in Elbonia? Elbonian: We're seventy years in your future. I'm the great grandson of the guy you are trying to reach. By the way, that SETI thing won't work out the way you're hoping.
Thursday January 27,
2011
Tags fear, rodents, transcontinental journeys, elbonia, too cold, airplanes, operate, underground route, fly, switzerland, swear system, sewerside mission, warm jacket, rat hammer
Transcript
The Boss says, "Asok, I need you to go to Elbonia. It's too cold for airplanes to operate there, so you'll need to use the underground route." The Boss says, "Fly into Switzerland and follow the sewer systems from there. Stick to the side of the sewer where it's dryer." Asok says, "It's a sewerside mission!" The Boss says, "You'll need a warm jacket and a rat hammer."
Friday February 24,
2012
Tags salutations, sven, elbonia, handshake, kiss mitten, greetings, foreigner
Transcript
Wally: This is Sven, our biggest customer from Elbonia. Whoa! No handshake. That's an insult. The first time you meed an Elbonian you kiss his mitten. Elbonian: Seriously? Wally: Oh, we're just getting started.