Engagement Comic Strips - Page 1
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22 Results for Engagement
View 1 - 10 results for engagement comic strips. Discover the best "Engagement" comics from Dilbert.com.
Thursday June 20,
2019
Employee Engagement
Tags business, employees, managers & supervisors, office, time, engagement
Transcript
the boss: i'm assigning you to work on our employee engagement initiative. dilbert: does it matter that i think that project sounds like a complete waste of time? the boss: nah.
Saturday December 28,
2019
Employee Engagement Survey
Tags managers & supervisors, underpay, senior, management, accurate, information, engagement, survey, important, underpaid
Transcript
boss: all out the employee engagement survey and make sure you lie like crazy. i don't want any accurate information to bubble up to senior management. dilbert: i've never felt less important. boss: good. that's why i can underpay you.
Monday March 03,
1997
Tags combine words, ecosystem, engagement manger, ratbert, seem smart, walmart
Transcript
Dogbert says, "Ratbert, I'm going back into the consulting business and I need you to be my engagement manager." Dogbert continues, "You'll seem very smart if you randomly combine the words on this list and make many references to 'Wal-Mart.'" Ratbert sits at a conference table with Dilbert and the Boss. Ratbert says, "It's like 'Wal-Mart.' Migrate your value into the white spaces of the ecosystem." The Boss says, "Wow! That's one smart rat!"
Monday March 17,
2014
Tags work ethic, brain wash, company profits, more imprtant, employers engagement, 12 hour days, work for money
Transcript
Catbert: I'm going to brainwash you to believe company profits are more important than your health. It's called "employee engagement," and it will make you work 12-hour days while thinking you enjoy every minute of it. Dilbert: Can I just work for money? Catbert: Why are you being a jerk about this?
Sunday October 16,
2016
Tags engagement, review, shortcut, honesty, human resources, hr, business
Transcript
Boss: How's your employee engagement coming along? Dilbert: I'll make you a deal... I'll pretend I'm happy to be here if you pretend you believe it. Boss: I need more than that. I also want you to pretend you're loyal to the company. Dilbert: I can do that, if you pretend you're interested in my career development. Boss: Can we do all of that without talking? Dilbert: That's the best way. Boss: My job was a lot harder before I figured out all the shortcuts.
Tuesday March 05,
2019
Asok's Employee Engagement
Tags employees, managers & supervisors, office workers, work, attitude, expectations
Transcript
Boss: Asok, your employee engagement has been a bit soft this quarter. I expect a higher level of irrational enthusiasm for the endless string of thankless tasks you call your job. Asok: How's this? Boss: I also want to see an unnatural preference for work over leisure.
Wednesday March 06,
2019
Employee Engagement Is Up
Tags employees, managers & supervisors, obliviousness, questions, data, measurement
Transcript
Boss: And I've improved employee engagement by nineteen percent. CEO: What is employee engagement? Boss: I'm not entirely sure. CEO: Then how do you measure it? Boss: Honestly, I wasn't expecting a lot of questions.
Thursday July 25,
2019
Employee Engagement Survey
Tags business, employees, managers & supervisors
Transcript
boss: the employee engagement survey results are in. aaand...not a single person answered the survey. looks like we have room to improve. dilbert: have you considered bribery?
Wednesday July 22,
2020
No Talk About Morale
Tags business, employees, managers & supervisors, sarcasm, morale, talk, engagement, workplace, culture, happy, question, covid, pandemic
Transcript
dilbert and boss wearing face masks. dilbert: i've noticed that we used to talk about employee morale... but now we talk about "engagement" and "workplace culture." why is that? boss: we found out it doesn't matter if you are happy. dilbert: remind me to never ask another question.
Tuesday August 11,
2020
Wally Must Say Something
Tags managers & supervisors, technology, meeting, attention, confused, face mask, follow-up, questions, project, employee, engagement, business
Transcript
wally thinking: i need to say something to show i'm paying attention. wally: i'm concerned that the project could reduce employee engagement. boss: what does that even mean? wally thinking: i wasn't expecting follow-up questions.