Feasibility Analysis Comic Strips - Page 1

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57 Results for Feasibility Analysis

View 1 - 10 results for feasibility analysis comic strips. Discover the best "Feasibility Analysis" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #feasibility analysis, #two years, #obsolete, #project can't succeed, #credible in market, #stupid things, #complete waste, #behind schedule

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Dilbert hands The Boss a piece of paper and says, "I completed the feasibility analysis." Dilbert continues, "It would take us two years to build a product that will be obsolete one year from now." The Boss replies, "Okay, let's get started." Dilbert says, "Um.. No, the point is project can't succeed." The Boss responds, "We want people to think we're developing this sort of product, so we'll be credible in the market." Dilbert says, "So our plan is to do stupid things until we appear credible?" The Boss replies, "Exactly!" Dilbert walks away and exclaims, "Gaaa!! My life is a complete waste!!" The Boss says to Catbert, "Tomorrow I'll ask him why he's behind schedule." Catbert responds, "Very evil. Nicely done."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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I can do this feasibility analysis in two minutes. "It's the worst idea in the world. Numbers don't lie." "Our CEO loves the idea." "Luckily assumptions do lie."

Wally's Analysis Is No Longer Needed

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Wally's Analysis Is No Longer Needed - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #work ethic, #analysis, #work, #gibberish, #separate issue, #secretary, #offcie, #cubicle, #science

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Wally: Here's the analysis you asked me to do. Coworker: Oops. I forgot to tell you, I don't need this anymore. Wally: What? I did all of that work for nothing? Coworker: Wait... this is nothing but... gibberish. Wally: That is a separate issue.

Technical Analysis

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Technical Analysis - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Advice, #bad advice, #investing, #stock market, #stocks, #squirrel sitting, #clown shoulder, #technical analysis, #money

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Lessons in Investing. Boss: You should buy a stock whenever the chart looks like a squirrel sitting on a clown's shoulder. That's called "technical analysis." Asok: I'm not going to do that. Boss: Good. Because it doesn't work if everyone does it.

Asok Analysis

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 Asok Analysis  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business ethics, #decision, #managers & supervisors, #numbers, #analysis, #experience, #liars, #department

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boss: put some numbers on this decision so it looks a if we thought about it longer. asok: are you seriously telling me to do the analysis after the decision? boss: if you need help, talk to one of the experienced liars in the department.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #universities & colleges, #cost analysis, #data centers, #good investment, #college, #education

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Boss: Do a cost analysis for consolidating our data centers. No matter what the data says, make sure your conclusion is that it's a good investment. Dilbert: Remind me why I went to college. Boss: Some liar probably convinced you it was a good investment.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #fraudulent analysis, #total betrayal, #shareholders, #rational beghavior

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Dilbert: I finished the fraudulent analysis you requested to support the decision you already made. It's a total betrayal of shareholders and a slap in the face for anyone who values rational behavior. Boss: Thanks. That's exactly what I wanted. Dilbert: You're welcome.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #the boss, #Dogbert, #consultant, #right-brain, #potential, #employees, #creative, #answers, #left-brain, #quantitative, #analysis, #stem, #meetings

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Dogbert sits across from the Boss's desk and says, "As your consultant I'll be able to unleash right-brain potential in your employees." Dogbert continues, "They'll learn to find creative answers, not just rely on left-brain quantitative analysis." The Boss asks, "Which part of the brain do we use for meetings?" Dogbert replies, "That would be the stem."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #the problem, #under staffed, #six weeks, #behind, #the analysis, #add people, #the result, #daily stats reports, #situation

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The caption reads, "The problem . . ." Dilbert enters looking frazzled and says to the Boss, "We're so under-staffed that the project is six weeks behind schedule." The caption reads, "The analysis . . ." The Boss looks pensive and thinks, "I can't add people . . . I can't change the due date . . . I can't ignore it." The caption reads, "The result . . ." Dilbert says to Wally and Alice, "He wants daily status reports until the situation improves." All three look overworked and disheveled.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #predicted success, #salaries, #die in stapler mishap, #disagree, #precition, #Opinion, #analysis, #science

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The Boss hands Dilbert a sheet of paper and says, "From now on, salaries will be based on your predicted success, not your past performance." While Dilbert reads the report, the Boss says, "We ran a computer model against your education and DNA information. We predict you'll die in a stapler mishap within a week." Dilbert asks, "What if I disagree with this prediction?" The Boss points at Dilbert and says, "Write up your opinion and staple it to the analysis."