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Dilbert: Where can I put this important document so it won't get lost in your desk clutter? Carol: I'll flatten my hair so you can leave it on top of my head. Are you happy? Dilbert: I didn't know happy was an option."
Never go to a robotic hair transplant center on the same day they upgrade the software. Is that the surgery where they take hair from the back of your head and fill in the bald spot? That's how the old software worked. The new one didn't respect boundaries.
Boss: Alice, why aren't you at this meeting? Alice: I'm having a bad hair day. Boss: That's no reason to miss a meeting! Alice: You don't understand. It's really, really bad. Boss: Come to the meeting right now, or you're fired! Gurk! Dilbert: That's bad hair. Alice: Can't say I didn't warn him.
Dogbert sits at a desk working with scissors and Velcro. He says, "There . . . perfect." Dilbert asks, "What's that, Dogbert?" Dogbert answers, "I've created the Velcro shirt pocket! It attaches to your chest hairs while swimming or showering." Dilbert looks at the pocket and says, "Hmm . . . might work." Dogbert says, "You may also be interested in my new Velcro chest hair."
Dilbert sits in his chair reading the newspaper. Dogbert says, "I got a job." Dogbert jumps onto the hassock and says, "I'm the new spokesperson for 'Harry's Hair Growth Solution.'" Dogbert asks, "Mind if I borrow your razor for the 'Before' pictures?"
Dilbert stands in front of the bathroom mirror combing his hair. Dilbert says to Dogbert, "I think I'm losing my hair." Dogbert replies, "Don't be silly. You aren't losing your hair." Dilbert says, "I'm not? Oh, good." Dogbert points to the floor and says, "How could you possibly lose these huge clumps . . ."
Dogbert sits on his pillow watching television. The announcer asks, "Tired of being teased because of thinning nose hair?" The announcer continues, "Get the 'Rivco Nose Toupee' for only $9.95!" Dilbert stands behind Dogbert and says, "It's totally undetectable." Dilbert has hair coming out of his nose.
Dilbert sits at his desk holding his invention. Dogbert asks, "May I play with your 'Sonic Obliterator' invention?" Dilbert answers, "Sure." Dilbert says, "Just be careful. It has a hair trigger and can blow a truck to bits." Dogbert says, "Neat!" Dilbert turns toward the reader and says, "You have to show them that you trust them." Dogbert says, "I'll be down at the post office truck yard."