Hired On Spot Comic Strips - Page 1

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View 1 - 10 results for hired on spot comic strips. Discover the best "Hired On Spot" comics from Dilbert.com.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags hired a genius, faking british accent, ello bird, sexy sounds

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"I thought I hired a genius." "But he turned out to be an ordinary guy faking a British accent." "'Ello, bird. 'Ow 'bout a spot o' tea? Whot do you say, gov'nor?" "Who's making those sexy sounds?"

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags competent, good judge of people, hired, lame resume, not tall, job interview, hired on spot

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The Boss says, "Your resume is lame, but you're tall, so you must be competent." The Boss says, "You're hired. Let me show you around." The Boss says, "I'm what you call a good judge of people."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags interviews, ignorant and bored, hired, awesome tech skills, management genius

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Man: You're ignorant and ridiculous. I'm bored. Are we done here? Boss: You're hired. You must have awesome technical skills or else someone would have killed you by now. Boss: I can't tell if I'm a management genius or just lazy.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags embarrassment, obliviousness, hired consultant, less confident, overconfident people, don't recognize mistakes, didn't know studies, feel like idiot

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Boss: I hired a consultant to teach us how to be less confident. Dilbert: Is that because research has shown that overconfident people don't recognize their own mistakes? Boss: Now I feel like an idiot because I didn't know about those studies. Dogbert: I did him first.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags cruelty, destructive criticism, dumb, employees, team, hired, meeting, business

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Boss: I'd like to begin the meeting by giving Dilbert some destructive criticism. Everything you do is dumb. I don't know why I hired you. I feel much more motivated now. If you feel a little bit worse, we came out ahead as a team.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Men, combing, ear, hair, bald, spot, head, method, talk

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A man says, "Hey, that's a good technique: combing your ear hair over the bald spot!" The man continues, "I've been working on the eyebrows-combed-over-the-head method." The man with the ear hair thinks, "Somebody should talk to that man."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dilbert, roof, leaking, fix, tomorrow, members, profession, unreliable, quote, show, return, calls, hired, nobody, repeat, customers

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Dilbert points to the ceiling and says to a roofer, "The roof is leaking there. Can you fix it tomorrow?" The roofer replies, "Well, like all members of my profession, I'm unreliable. However, I could give you a quote and then never show up or return your calls." Dilbert says, "You're hired. Nobody else would even show up for the quote." The roofer says, "I depend on repeat customers."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags bob the dinosaur, double fee, triple fee, infinity plus one, childish men, hired to beat, tail, project requiremnets

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Dilbert: I hired Bob the dinosaur to beat you with his tail until you give me the project requirements. MAN: HA! I'll double your fee if you thump Dilbert instead. Dilbert: I 'll triple the fee! Dilbert: He can't really pay you "infinity" plus one. BOB: I wonder how much this is on an hourly basis.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags fired, hired back, other people are smarter, wally is dumb, boss is dumb, more money

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Dilbert: Wally? I thought you got fired. Wally: I did. But people outside the company appear smarter, so they hired me back as a consultant for way more money. wally: Did you understand that? Don't feel embarrassed to ask for help on the hard stuff.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags design interface, got out, hired professional, international terrorist, last week, went to yale, new employee, talks with dilbert

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The Boss says to Dilbert, "I hired a professional to help us design our product interface." The Boss continues, "His last job was as an international terrorist. It's not a perfect fit but he went to Yale." Dilbert sits at a table and says to the man sitting with him, "So, I hear you went to Yale, Sven." Sven answers, "I yust got out last week."