Little Shoulder Massge Comic Strips - Page 1

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

437 Results for Little Shoulder Massge

View 1 - 10 results for little shoulder massge comic strips. Discover the best "Little Shoulder Massge" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #desired salary, #million dollars, #how much expected, #misleading, #salary, #fantasy layered, #little shoulder massge, #15 %, #money

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert wears a suit and holds a briefcase. He says, "Wish me luck, Dogbert." Dogbert asks, "If you get more luck, wouldn't there be less luck available for me?" A woman at a desk looks at Dilbert's application and says, "For 'desired salary' you wrote 'one million dollars.'" Dilbert says, "Yes, thanks for asking." The woman says, "Perhaps the question is misleading. The application should have asked what salary you EXPECT." Dilbert replies, "Oh . . . Well, I expect you'll hire somebody more qualified and my salary will remain unchanged." The woman says, "No, too honest. I'm looking for something CLOSE to reality, with maybe twenty-percent fantasy layered on top." Dilbert replies, "Okay . . . I'd like a fifteen-percent raise and a little shoulder massage." Back at home, Dilbert asks Dogbert, "Why does it seem that I'm the only honest guy on earth?" Dogbert replies, "Your type tends not to reproduce."

Dilbert Characters

Ceo Gives Shoulder Rubs

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Ceo Gives Shoulder Rubs - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #flirting, #implementation, #new rules, #shoulder rub, #sock collar, #team spirit

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: Hey, Alice. Let me give you a shoulder rub in the name of team spirit. CEO: AAAAGH!!! Alice: click CEO: I hate having a court - ordered shock collar. The boss: I don't see a...oh.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #cruelty, #office workers, #mindless task, #intern, #time, #little value, #jump out, #nice way to say

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Asok, there's no nice way to say this... do this mindless task for me because you're nothing but an intern and your time has very little value. Asok: There probably was a nice way to say that. Dilbert: It didn't jump out.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #friendship, #gadgets, #mobile (cell) phones, #shoulder holder, #jealousy is attractive, #relationships

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I invented a shoulder holder for my phone. I felt bad keeping my best friend in my pocket. Jealousy in not attractive.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #different, #employees, #goals, #work little, #year ahead, #your goals, #my goals, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: When I asked for your goals for the coming year, I had something different in mind. Not "work as little as possible while avoiding the wrath of the pointy-haired troll." Wally: Don't call them my goals if you mean your goals.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #tattoo, #shoulder, #tasteful, #timeless, #kick me

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says to Dogbert, "I'm thinking of getting a tattoo." Dilbert continues, "On my shoulder . . . Something tasteful yet timeless. I don't want to regret it later." Dilbert asks, "Any suggestions?" Dogbert replies, "How about 'Kick me?'"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #little girl, #ambush reporter, #Kids, #pretend, #manipulate, #crying, #expensive, #consumerism

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert approaches a little girl, holds out a microphone and says, "Just a minute little girl. I'm Dogbert, the ambush reporter." Dogbert says, "Is it true that you PRETEND to be cute in order to MANIPULATE adults!!" The girl starts sniffing and crying. Dogbert says, "Oh, hey, wait . . . I'm just kidding. Can I buy you something expensive?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #tabloid, #devoted, #lies, #impatience, #fools, #legendary, #choked, #man, #necktie, #stupid, #questions, #shoulder

View Transcript

Transcript

The caption says, "Dogbert starts a tabloid newspaper devoted to lies about himself." Dogbert stands on a desk chair and types. Dilbert asks, "Where do you get your ideas?" Dogbert types, "Dogbert's impatience with fools was legendary. He once choked a man by his necktie for asking stupid questions." Dilbert looks over Dogbert's shoulder as Dogbert types, "It happened one day when the fool was reading over Dogbert's shoulder and got too close."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #critical, #first, #sound, #date, #little man, #attached, #back, #co-worker, #successful, #pressure

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert arrives at a woman's door carrying flowers. Floyd is still attached to Dilbert's back. The woman says, "I don't mean to sound critical on a first date, but there's a little man attached to your back." Dilbert says, "That's Floyd. He's a co-worker who survives by sharing the success of others." The woman asks, "What if you're not successful?" Dilbert replies, "He'll die. But hey, no pressure."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #exercise, #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #joined, #bowling, #league, #yikes, #lower middle class, #muscle, #little arm

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert arrives at home carrying a bowling ball in a case. Dilbert says to Dogbert, "I joined a bowling league." Dogbert's ears fly up in surprise and he says, "Yikes! We've become lower middle-class!" Dilbert says, "Don't be ridiculous. Bowling is good exercise. I'm doing it to build muscle tone." At the bowling alley, Dilbert sees three men who have one huge arm and one little arm. One of the men says, "Hey! 'Little Arm.'"