Office Tour Comic Strips - Page 1
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1000 Results for Office Tour
View 1 - 10 results for office tour comic strips. Discover the best "Office Tour" comics from Dilbert.com.
Sunday August 07,
1994
Tags #new employee, #new engineer, #sarcasm, #shows around, #telephone, #cubicle, #hallway, #every foot staep, #bad points, #office tour, #crazy, #bad conditions, #employement
Transcript
The Boss: "Laurie's our new engineer. Show her the ropes, Dilbert." "I meant figuratively." Dilbert: "This is your anti-productivity pod." "It's equipped with a little device that rings anytime you try to concentrate." "The top is open so none of the background noise is inadvertently muffled." "And you're on the main aisle, so you'll be haunted every minute by footsteps behind you. Step...step...step." The Boss: "We need to talk."
Sunday August 06,
1995
Tags #boss evil, #entity from another dimension, #synergies, #win win solution, #delight every customer, #new internet access, #tour of cubicles
Transcript
Dilbert lies on a couch in a psychiatrist's office. The therapist asks, "When did you start believing that your boss was an evil entity from another dimension?" Dilbert imagines the Boss telling him, "I'd like to sit in on your customer meeting." Dilbert thinks, "Uh-oh." The Boss, Dilbert and a woman sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "Let me share the high level strategic view." Dilbert thinks, "Here we go." The Boss spreads his arms and says, "Life began in the primordial stew literally hundreds of years ago . . ." The Boss continues, "But we are the only company who ever found synergies in our win-win solutions!" The caption says, "Two hours later." The Boss says, "And we won't sop until we delight every customer!" The woman looks shocked and Dilbert covers his eyes. The customer says, "I'd be delighted if you just told me about your new Internet access product." The Boss replies, "I cancelled the funding yesterday." The Boss stands up and says, "Who's up for a tour of our cubicles?" Dilbert says, "Gotta go."
Saturday October 24,
2015
New Office Layout Will Improve Efficiency
Tags #layout, #office, #desk, #work environment, #efficiency, #catch-22, #loophole, #laziness, #excuse
Transcript
Wally: Do you really believe that your plan to change the office layout will boost efficiency? Boss: Of course it will. The physical environment makes a huge difference. Wally: Good. I missed all of my deadlines because of our current office layout is bad.
Saturday April 29,
2017
Cublices Or Open Office Plan
Tags #office, #concept, #cubicle, #floorplan, #laziness, #hiding
Transcript
Dilbert: Do you prefer the privacy of a cubicle or the collaborative atmosphere of an open office plan? Wally: Cubicles poison my soul. But in an open office plan, I would not get any work done. Dilbert: So... which do you prefer? Wally: The one with no work. I thought that was obvious.
Monday June 26,
2017
Open Office Plan Failed
Tags #office, #office workers, #cubicle, #change, #mistake, #admission, #hubris
Transcript
Dilbert: Our transition to an open office plan has been a huge failure. Too many distractions. How can we change back to cubicles and private offices without looking like idiots? Are you listening to me? Boss: Is someone nursing a baby over there?
Tuesday June 27,
2017
Boss Wants Private Office
Tags #cubicle, #office, #office workers, #privacy, #open office
Transcript
Boss: The employees are complaining because our new open office plan has too many distractions. CEO: You want to go back to cubicles? Boss: No, I just need a private so I can't hear them complaining.
Wednesday July 17,
2019
Asok Lives In The Office
Tags #boss, #cost, #criticism, #house, #office, #office workers, #expectations
Transcript
Boss: All of you should be more like Asok. He is in the office before I arrive and still here when I go home. Asok: That is because housing costs are so high that I live here in the office and sleep in a bathroom stall. Boss: That still leaves a lot of stalls for the rest of you.
Wednesday April 14,
2021
Office Nickname
Tags #business, #technology, #cell phone, #nickname, #office, #insulting, #approval, #bad, #start, #permission
Transcript
dilbert video call on cell phone. dilbert: should i call you ted, or do you prefer your office nickname? i only ask because your nickname is insulting, so i just wanted to make sure you were okay with me using it. ted: i have an office nickname? dilbert thinking: aaand we're off to a bad start.
Saturday May 08,
2021
Work From Home Or Office
Tags #business, #technology, #video call, #office, #work from home, #home, #quit, #shoot, #dead, #mistake, #happiness
Transcript
boss on video call. boss: how many of you would prefer going back to work in the office instead of working at home? voices from laptop: i'd rather be dead. i quit. shoot me. boss walking in living room thinking: i knew it was a mistake to let them taste happiness.
Tuesday March 22,
2011
Tags #managers & supervisors, #secretaries (office), #work ethic, #filling in for boss, #workstation vacation, #being in charge, #pverarted, #martini glass, #drinking, #umbrella in drink, #secretary, #business
Transcript
Alice says, "I'm filling in for your boss this week, and I need twenty copies." Carol says, "That's not how it works. When he's out of the office I take a workstation vacation." Alice says, "I don't like being in charge." Carol says, "I hear it's overrated."