Project Finished Comic Strips - Page 1
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746 Results for Project Finished
View 1 - 10 results for project finished comic strips. Discover the best "Project Finished" comics from Dilbert.com.
Friday September 27,
2002
Tags one project, finished one, measure worth, number of projects, track roi, losing, competition amongst mothers, dilberts mom
Transcript
Dilbert and his mom are eating dinner. Dilbert's mom asks, "Why have you only finished one project at work this year? Norma's son did three." Dilbert responds, "You can't measure someone's worth by counting the number of projects he does." Dilbert's mom says to her friends, "Maybe we should track R.O.I. instead." One of her friends replies, "Why, because you're losing?"
Friday October 29,
2004
Tags no vacation, inability to plan, contact wedding guets, arranged marriage cancelled, project finished
Transcript
There will be no vacations until the project is finished. "It feels as if I am being punished for your inability to properly plan and staff." "I will contact my 800 wedding guests and tell them that my arranged marriage is cancelled." "Thanks."
Monday September 15,
2003
Tags project manager, returned calls, emails, mentally superior, finished porject, sleep national holidays
Transcript
Asok: "Since I became project manager, no one has returned my calls or responded to my e-mails." Asok: "Luckily, I'm an I.I.T. graduate, mentally superior to most people on Earth, so I finished the project myself." Wally: "Are you tired?" Asok: "I am trained to only sleep during national holidays."
Saturday January 24,
1998
Tags slight flu, copy to wally, project, least reason to live
Transcript
A guy with cold sweat hands a paper to Dilbert. he says, "I finished my work despite having a slight flu. Here's your copy." Dilbert says, "Um... you should give that to Wally." The guy says, "Wally isn't on this project." Dilbert says, "I know. I just figure he has the least reason to live."
Monday April 24,
2000
Tags project plan, without input, lied to me, skipped that step, already assigned blame, for failure
Transcript
Dilbert and Alice are seated together at a table when the Boss walks up and hands Dilbert a piece of paper. He says to Dilbert, "I finished the project plan without your input." As Dilbert reads the paper, the Boss goes on to say, "You would have lied to me anyway, so I just skipped that step." The Boss sits at the table with Dilbert and Alice and says, "I've already assigned blame for failure, but don't worry, it's just preliminary."
Tuesday August 19,
2003
Tags huge galatians project, disqualified, one minute late, future depends on win bid, winning bid, future of company, can't be late, line dancing sign
Transcript
"After months of work, I finished our bid for the huge galatikus project." "I'll deliver it to them." "If it's on minute late, we'll be disqualified. The future of our company depends on us winning this bid." "He must think I'm a... Whoa, what's this?" "Irish line dancing lessons 10% off."
Wednesday January 16,
2008
Tags project, stink of unimportnace, interns, board of directors, insult
Transcript
Asok: I finished my project and I'm ready to present it to the board of directors. The Boss: Interns don't speak to the board of directors, Asok. It would be considered an insult. Asok: How is that an insult? The Boss: You have the stink of unimportance.
Tuesday December 04,
2007
Tags private moon shuttle, 3 months, doom inevitable, scapegoat, blame, project, never getting finsihed
Transcript
Dilbert: "My company wants me to design a private moon shuttle in three months. Doom is inevitable." Dogbert: "What you need is a scapegoat to blame for the project never getting finished. I'll send one over." Dilbert: "I was almost done, and then this idiot comes along."
Monday January 26,
2015
What Phase Of The Project
Tags insult, insulting, project, questioning
Transcript
Boss: What phase is your project in? Dilbert: This is the phase where people ask stupid questions. Boss: How long does it last? Dilbert: It isn't looking good for today.
Monday June 20,
2016
Wally Heads Up Ai Project
Tags work ethic, laziness, project, fake
Transcript
Boss: Wally, I need you to head up our artificial intelligence project. You will have no budget and no hope of success. I just like saying we're working on AI. And you're completely useless, so it's a good match. Wally: I won't let you down.