Right To Asylum Comic Strips - Page 1
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Dilbert: Hypothetically, if my boss told me to do something stupid, should I do it? The Boss: You should do what you know is right. Dilbert: Oh, good. The Boss: And then your boss should punish you for doing it.
The boss: How hard would it be to program our website to collect browser history from our visitors? Dilbert: well, first Id need to invent some sort of device that reverses my sense of right and wrong. The Boss: so...we we talking about a week ...or a month?
Boss: The second option feels right. Let's go with that. Dilbert: Should we always ignore what the data says, or is this more of a one-time thing? Boss: It's call intuition. Dilbert: It's a slippery slope to witchcraft.
Coworker: My boss asked me to attend your presentation on his behalf. I should warn you that I'm not authorized to make decisions, and I take poor notes. Dilbert: Okay. Let's begin wasting our time! Coworker: I"m not even sure I'm in the right meeting.
Dilbert sits across from the Boss's desk. The Boss says, "I decided to recognize you for your job performance." The Boss continues, "So I named one of my pencils after you." Dilbert says, "Gosh. Is that it right there?" The Boss replies, "No. That's my good pencil."
Dogbert walks along a path humming. A man walking in the opposite direction says, "Hi, Dogbert. How are you?" Dogbert says, "How am I? Is this merely shallow social pulp, or do you genuinely care about me and my feelings right at his moment?" The man responds, "It's the pulp one." Dogbert says, "I'm fine. How are you?"
At Dogbert's nomination hearings, a member of the Senate Judiciary Committee asks Dogbert, "Do you have any opinions on the right to privacy?" Dogbert replies, "No. In fact, I've never formed an important opinion in my entire life." The senator says, "You must think we're idiots." Dogbert replies, "Okay, I've formed ONE opinion . . . But that's all."
Dogbert sits across from the Boss's desk and says, "As your consultant I'll be able to unleash right-brain potential in your employees." Dogbert continues, "They'll learn to find creative answers, not just rely on left-brain quantitative analysis." The Boss asks, "Which part of the brain do we use for meetings?" Dogbert replies, "That would be the stem."
Dogbert: "You should hire me as your process reengineering consultant." "I would be totally objective about what jobs to eliminate. Frankly, I don't care about anybody at your company!" Dilbert: "You've got the right attitude." Dogbert: "I think I'll wear a flowing robe and surround myself with cherubs."
Dilbert, Wally and a man sit at a table eating lunch. The man says, "Instead of 'right-sizing' our company is 'bright-sizing.' That's when all the bright people leave!" They all laugh. They stop laughing and Dilbert says, "Hey! We all brought bananas."