Ruin Our Lawn Comic Strips - Page 1
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62 Results for Ruin Our Lawn
View 1 - 10 results for ruin our lawn comic strips. Discover the best "Ruin Our Lawn" comics from Dilbert.com.
Friday October 03,
1997
Tags #mob, #stupid people, #attack dogbert, #drink hose water, #isn't working, #grass, #attack, #ruin our lawn, #spraying water, #hose fight
Transcript
CAption: A mob of stupid people attack Dogbert's house. One in-duh-vidual says, "Our plan to drink all of his hose water isn't working." Another in-duh-vidual has a garden hose in his mouth and looks as if he is about to burst. The first in-duh-vidual says, "Hey, careful! You're getting water all over the grass..." Another person says, "Wait, that gives me an idea!" Dilbert reads the newspaper. "How's the attack going?" Dogbert replies, "They tried to ruin our lawn by spraying water on it. But now it's turned into a hose fight."
Wednesday May 23,
1990
Tags #Dilbert, #woman, #witch, #practicing, #awful, #lawn ornaments, #tacky, #lawn
Transcript
Dilbert sits at a restaurant table with a woman. The woman says, "Thanks for asking me out. Most guys get scared when they find out I'm a practicing witch." The woman continues, "Then they say something I don't like and I end up turning them into lawn ornaments." Dilbert replies, "That's awful!" The woman says, "Tell me about it . . . you can't believe how tacky my lawn is now."
Friday August 16,
1991
Wednesday June 15,
1994
Tags #city soccer league, #never played, #natural instinct, #ball trajectory, #team play, #ruin concentration
Transcript
"I joined the city soccer league." "I've never played, but as an engineer I have a natural instinct for ball trajectory and passing angles." "Where does the team play?" "Coach doesn't want to ruin my concentration by telling me."
Saturday January 14,
1995
Tags #dogbert venture capitalist, #invest 5 million, #agree, #standard conditions, #chairman of board, #mow lawn, #wash car, #touch bargainer, #multimedia developers, #gardening needs
Transcript
Dogbert sits at his desk and a businessman sits across from him. Reading from a document, Dogbert says, "I'll invest up to five million dollars if you'll agree to some standard conditions." Dogbert continues, "I will be chairman of the board and own 99% of the company. You will work for free and wash my car twice a week." The businessman asks, "Can I mow your lawn instead of washing your car?" Dogbert answers, "You're a tough bargainer, but I prefer multimedia developers for my gardening needs."
Thursday April 06,
1995
Tags #attractive incentives, #elbonia, #zero taxes, #cheerful, #leave labor, #environmental regulations, #best you can do, #lawn ornament
Transcript
The Boss, Dogbert and an Elbonian sit around a conference table. The Elbonian says, "We're offering attractive incentives to companies that move to Elbonia." The Elbonian continues, "Zero taxes, cheerful slave labor, amnesty from any inconvenient laws, and absolutely no environmental regulations!" The Boss asks, "Is that the best you can do?" The Elbonian hands a baby across the table and says, "Here, use my first born son as a lawn ornament."
Saturday October 25,
1997
Tags #seeing beautiful woman, #curtains, #venetian blinds, #lawn chair in yard
Transcript
Wally says to Dilbert, "I've been seeing a beautiful woman. But something came between us." Dilbert says, "Her curtains?" Wally says, "Venetian blinds. Totally unforgiving." Dilbert says, "Maybe she got spooked when you put the lawn chair in her yard."
Thursday December 11,
1997
Tags #lower opinion, #time bombs, #ruin magic, #kill me, #one kiss, #no tongue
Transcript
Dilbert and his date go for a walk, holding hands. She says, "Sooner or later you'll say something that will lower my opinion of you." Dilbert grunts. She says, "Men are like bombs. At any moment you'll say something that will ruin the magic." Dilbert slips and says, "I'm an engineer." She screams, "Aaaaargh! Kill me! Kill me!" He says, "I'll give you one kiss. No tongue."
Friday February 05,
1999
Tags #doctor dogbert, #herbal therapy, #eat lawn, #storm gutters, #hair grow back, #perscription
Transcript
Caption: "Doctor Dogbert" Dogbert wears a crown and stethoscope. A bald man in black socks and boxers sits on the examining table. Dogbert says, "I'm putting you on extreme herbal therapy." Dogbert writes a prescription and says, "Come to my house once a week and eat my lawn down to one inch." The man gets dressed. Dogbert says, "After six months, if your hair doesn't grow back, I have more herbs in my storm gutters."
Saturday May 15,
1999
Tags #completes portion, #project, #well engineered, #squadron, #idiots, #ruin, #marketing, #napping, #use ears, #coasters, #business
Transcript
Dilbert types at his computer and thinks, "This completes my portion of the project." Dilbert thinks, "This project is so well-engineered it would take a squadron of idiots to ruin it." Caption: "Meanwhile in Marketing" A stupid looking man dressed very sloppily says, "And when I'm napping, it is NOT okay to use my ears as coasters."