Says Thanks Comic Strips - Page 1

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Says Thanks

View 1 - 10 results for says thanks comic strips. Discover the best "Says Thanks" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags alice, recipient, of stone of quality, motivational rock, says thanks, costs engraved, knocks out boss, police arrive, find rock

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice sits at the computer. The Boss hands her a rock. The boss says, "Alice, you're the first recipient of the motivational "stone of quality"." The boss says, "It cost a thousand dollars to have it engraved. It's my way of saying "thanks"." The boss lies on the floor with a large bump on his head. Two cops lean over him. Alice peers around the corner. One of the cops, "There's no weapon, but I found this cool motivational rock."

View more books now

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dogbert, Entertainment, thanks, babysit, doggie bert, bret, impressionable, years, innocent, adult, nonsense, parents, space, aliens, eat, slaughter, house, kindergarten, change, probably

View Transcript

Transcript

A man and woman say to Dogbert, "Thanks for agreeing to baby-sit, Dogbert." Dogbert says, "No sweat." A baby says, "Doggie-Bert!" Dogbert says, "Sit down, Bret." Dogbert and the infant sit on the floor. Dogbert says, "You're in your most innocent and impressionable years." Dogbert continues, "As an adult, it is my duty to fill your sponge-like brain with incredible nonsense for my own entertainment." Dogbert continues, "Your parents are really space aliens." The baby looks frightened. Dogbert continues, "They're just fattening you up so they can eat you!" Dogbert continues, "The slaughterhouse is a place they call kindergarten!!" The father hands Dogbert his money and says, "Thanks, Dogbert. Did you change him?" Dogbert replies, "Probably."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags annoyance, interviews, wages, interviewing, salary range, reveal nature of job, current salary, interviewing me, evil or inconsiderate, current job, test the commute, money

View Transcript

Transcript

Man says, "Thanks for spending the day itnerviewing with us. I can now reveal the vature of the job and the salary range." Dilbert says, "You know my current salary and yet you wasted my entire day interviewing me for a job that pays less. You are either evil or inconsiderate." Man says, "So... not as good as your current job?" Dilbert says, "It's a tie. I'll need to test the commute one more time."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags gloating, meetings, idea, rejected idea, being impractical, take credit, noticing, implied your a moron, appreciated

View Transcript

Transcript

Coworker says, "I thought of your idea a year ago and rejected it for being impractical." Dilbert says, "Did you just take credit for my idea and diss it at the same time?" Coworker says, "Thanks for noticing." The Boss says, "He also cleverly implied that you're a moron." Coworker says, "It feels good to be appreciated!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dilbert, prototype, six months, transform, pocket, lint, parsley substitute, technology driven

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert stands in front of a man's desk holding a gadget. The man asks, "So, Dilbert, this is the prototype you've been working on for the last six months?" Dilbert replies, "Yes, sir. I'm proud to say that this baby can transform worthless pocket lint into a valuable parsley substitute!" The man says, "Well, this looks absolutely brilliant and completely unmarketable." Dilbert says, "Thanks, I'm technology driven."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dogbert, Dilbert, sneeze, hand, mouth

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert runs toward Dilbert yelling, "Quick, quick! Give me your hand!!!" Dogbert sneezes violently. Dilbert looks at his hand as Dogbert says, "Thanks . . . I always put a hand over my mouth when I sneeze."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dilbert, headache, trick, doctor, pharmacist, bottle, pharmacy

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert walks into a drug store and asks the pharmacist, "Do you have something for a headache?" The pharmacist hands Dilbert a bottle and says, "I'm pretty sure this will do the trick." Dilbert says, "Thanks." The pharmacist thinks, "I wonder if he meant something to GET RID of a headache. Nah . . ."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dogbert, operating, manual, buying, flowers, opening, doors, money, woman, Women, dating

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert and a woman sit at a table in a restaurant. The woman says, "Thanks for asking me out. Would you like to see my operating manual?" Dilbert asks, "Operating manual?" The woman explains, "It's an aid to men. It covers everything from 'buying flowers' to 'opening doors.'" Dilbert reads the manual and says, "Looks like you're due to have your jewelry rotated." The woman replies, "Every thirty days. Saves money in the long run."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dilbert, woman, witch, practicing, awful, lawn ornaments, tacky, lawn

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits at a restaurant table with a woman. The woman says, "Thanks for asking me out. Most guys get scared when they find out I'm a practicing witch." The woman continues, "Then they say something I don't like and I end up turning them into lawn ornaments." Dilbert replies, "That's awful!" The woman says, "Tell me about it . . . you can't believe how tacky my lawn is now."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags the boss, Dilbert, employee meeting, wilson, recognition, twenty-hour, overworked, success

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss gestures toward an employee and says to Dilbert and another man, "I'd like to recognize Wilson for working twenty-hour days and making the project a success." The man says, "Thanks, but I'm not Wilson. He quit months ago." The Boss says, "Oh . . ." The Boss walks away thinking, "I've got to sop calling this the employee recognition program."