Stop Ahead Comic Strips - Page 1
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The Boss comes into Wally's cubicle and asks, "Wally, did you finish the analysis for tomorrow?" Wally answers, "No." Wally continues, "I'm waiting until the last minute so you won't have time to ask for unnecessary changes." The Boss walks away and thinks, "I'm already one step ahead of him- the analysis itself is unnecessary."
Wally, the boss, Dilbert and Alice are in a meeting. Wally says, "It's time now for the weekly Wally report." Wally says, "By Tuesday the pointy-haired troll had dumped record levels of work on poor Wally." Wally says, "Wally's happiness was in extreme jeapardy." Wally says, "It was a moral dilemma too." Wally says, "Would Wally disappoint the stockholders to save his own skin?" Wally says, "Or would he fight with his last ounce of happiness to complete all the assignments?" Wally says, "In the end there was only one choice." Dilbert says, "You wrote the Wally report instead of working?" Wally says, "Stop reading ahead!"
Dilbert: We're out of time and we accomplished absolutely nothing, thanks to your non-stop talking. Coworker: When do I get my trophy for participating? Dilbert: Someone was raised with too much self-esteem. Coworker: Watch me walk!
Dilbert stands next to a woman in an elevator. Dilbert thinks, "Riding elevators is so awkward." Dilbert thinks, "Stare straight ahead . . . Don't breathe . . . Don't fidget . . . Don't blink . . . Arms hang like limp weights . . ." The woman thinks, "I think he's dead." Dilbert thinks, "Above all, act naturally."
Dawn the Dinosaur says to Bob, "I think I'm going to have an egg, Bob." Dawn continues, "I'm having unusual cravings." Bob shouts, "Yes!! I did it!!" Dawn puts her hands on her hips and says, "Like right now I'm craving you will stop taking all the credit." Bob shouts, "I'm number one!!"
Dogbert stands on a stool holding a reflex hammer. He says to the patient on the examining table, "Hold still while Doctor Dogbert whacks your knee." As Dogbert taps his knee, the man says, "Aak . . . Crime is society's fault . . . Raise taxes to feed the poor . . . Stop nuclear research . . . Save the . . ." The man covers his mouth. Dogbert says, "Apparently you're a knee-jerk liberal. You can live a normal life but you'll be annoying at parties."
Dilbert and Wally sit at a table eating lunch. Dilbert says, "Sometimes I worry that I'll never be creative again. Maybe my best ideas are behind me." Wally replies, "Oh, I wouldn't worry. Nothing you've done up to now has been any great shakes either." Dilbert says, "Ooh, so maybe my best work is still ahead of me." Wally replies, "Well, you have to consider the track record here."
Dilbert says to a salesclerk in a clothing store, "Some people might be fooled by your pretending to be a store mannequin." The man stares straight ahead and stands still. Dilbert continues, "But I saw you hide your name tag. I know you're a retail clerk who is trying to avoid helping me." Dilbert yells, "Hey! You're moving toward the 'employees only' door. Stop it! You won't get away with this!!" The clerk thinks, "Ten more feet."