Corporate Jet Comic Strips - Page 10
108 Results for Corporate Jet
View 91 - 100 results for corporate jet comic strips. Discover the best "Corporate Jet" comics from Dilbert.com.
Share March 27, 2013's comic on:
The boss: Your warranty doesn't cover a bad attitude, but it does cover water damage. Dont take this personally, I just need to slowly kill you with a forceful jet of water. SLOOSH! Dilbert: Why is the sky full of military drones? The boss: How took it personally.
Share May 22, 2013's comic on:
Boss: I'm looking for ideas on how we can improve our corporate culture. Alice: You could start by being less of a micromanaging d-bag who hides like a Higgs-boson whenever we need a decision. Boss: That didn't help. Alice: Will honesty still be taboo in the new culture?
Share September 23, 2013's comic on:
CEO: Our corporate structure is so complicated that I have no idea where our money even comes from I think it comes from derivatives or offshore accounts or maybe goodwill. Dilbert: Or maybe customers give us money. CEO: I hope not. I don't like to feel beholden.
Share February 11, 2014's comic on:
Boss: If a shadowy figure offers to buy company secrets, what should you do? Dilbert: How much is he offering? Boss: That shouldn't matter. Dilbert: How can I compare alternatives? Wally: Would there be any repeat business in this scenario? Corporate Security
Share April 29, 2014's comic on:
Dilbert: I had a question about your feedback on my business plan. You called it a "lumbering monument to incompetence, dishonesty and corporate dysfunction." Alice: What's your question? Dilbert: Do you think it should be longer?
Share May 06, 2014's comic on:
Wally: Last week, I did my corporate charity work by teaching unemployed people how to interview for jobs. Boss: Don't they also need job skills? Wally: Nah. I taught them how to look busy. Boss: No boss will be fooled by that. Wally: Do you believe I trained unemployed people last week?
Share September 07, 2014's comic on:
Tags #assumption, #business ethics, #buy prodcuts, #corporate strategy, #corporation, #customer centric, #etiquette & ethics, #evil, #executives, #ideas, #marketing campaign, #monopoly, #needs, #needs of customers, #psychological manipulation
CEO: I welcome any input on our corporate strategy. Dilbert: I think we need to be more customer-centric. CEO: You mean raise our prices? Dilbert: I mean focus on the needs of our customers. CEO: You mean we should be a monopoly so they need us? Dilbert: Um, no. We should find out what they need and then give it to them. CEO: They need to buy our products. Dilbert: They probably don't. CEO: So you're saying our marketing campaign should use psychological manipulation to make people think they need our products. You finally had a good idea. Dilbert: I'm going to stop talking now.
Share February 18, 2015's comic on:
Dilbert: I have been sent to disable the Elbonian Internet as retaliation for hacking into our corporate network. Elbonian 1: Only our elites use the Internet. The rest of us don't care. Knock yourself out. Elbonian 2: Zero, zero, one, zero, one... Elbonian 3: I wish someone would just disable this thing.
Share September 25, 2015's comic on:
CEO: We must learn to do more with less. Alice: You own a yacht that has an 18-hole golf course, and a landing strip for your jet, and its own zip code. CEO: I got a good deal on that. Alice: That's what the idiot that buys it form you will say, too.
Share October 16, 2015's comic on:
Dilbert: I'm concerned that my personal goals do not align with our corporate strategy. For example, I would like to be happy. What does the company want? Boss: Well, nothing along those lines.