Search Results for "anger"
Share March 01, 2009's comic on:
The boss says, "We're changing the name of our staffing group to 'Talent acquisition.'" the boss says, "This reflects our new focus on hiring only highly talented people." Dilbert says, "Doesn't that imply that your current employees are inferior to the ones you plan to hire?" The boss says , "Sort of." Dilbert says, "And since you routinely fire the worst performing employees..." Dilbert says, "you have just sealer our doom while expecting us to remain loyal to the company." Wally says, "now all I can thin k about are ways to vandalize the servers before I become homeless." The boss says, "I over-communicated again."
Share February 20, 2009's comic on:
The boss says, "The economy is circling the drain. I need each of you to take a 10% cut in pay." Asok the intern says, "I don't have much cushion in my budget. Yesterday I boiled my shoelaces for dinner." The boss says, "Remind me not to accept any dinner invitations to your house." Asok the intern says, "Don't worry!"
Share January 07, 2009's comic on:
man says, "Thanks to a new law, every customer In my sales territory needed to upgrade." man says, "Now I wear a hat made of money. The funny thing is that I'm not even a good salesman." man says, "Next week, the donuts are on me." Alice says, "Die! Die! Die!"
Share January 05, 2009's comic on:
Carol says, "This office is freezing. Why aren't you cold?" Dilbert says, "My brain is much larger than yours. It heats my entire body when I think." Dilbert says, "But whatever you're doing now seems to be working too." Carol thinks, "#!*$0!%"
Share January 04, 2009's comic on:
woman says, "You need to sign the corporate code of conduct." Wally says, "Wow! You're totally hot." woman says, "Um?That's inappropriate, and you need to sign the code of conduct." Wally says, "I don't have a pen, can you take it back to your cubicle and sign it for me?" woman says, "No. And I think you're lying about not having a pen. But maybe we can find one for you." Wally says, "See if Dilbert is in his cubicle, I usually take his stuff and blame the cleaners." woman says, "Just sign the #%!*! code of conduct or I will crush your stupid, bald head!" Wally says, "Do I need to read it?" Woman says, "No. Just say you did."
Share December 31, 2008's comic on:
The Boss says, "Ted, profits are falling. I have to downsize you." Ted says, "You worthless sack of monkey spit! I hope the birds that ate your brain regurgitate pellets down your neck!" Ted says, "I have lots more, but I don't want to burn any bridges."
Share December 27, 2008's comic on:
Wally says, "Where's our pointy haired boss?" Carol says, "He's at an offsite meeting to decide who to lay off." Carol says, "Don't worry. I booked the meeting at the Beelzebub Inn. No one has ever returned from there." The Boss says, "If you don't like the accommodations, next time have your own disgruntled underling book a place."
Share April 05, 2008's comic on:
Alice: My boss sent me to represent him at this meeting. Fuh-fuh-fuh everything costs too much. Fuh-fuh-fuh we don't have enough resources! Ted: That doesn't help us. Alice: Hey, I'm not the one who invited him."
Share March 06, 2008's comic on:
Share November 06, 2007's comic on:
Alice: "You should check with Ted to see if he knows about this sort of thing." Dilbert: "I'll add that to my list of marginally useful things that other people have suggested I do." Dilbert: "Apparently, agreeing isn't enough. You also need to say it a certain way."