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View 91 - 100 results for find free real estate comic strips. Discover the best "Find Free Real Estate" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 02, 1995's comic on:


Tags #new co - op employee, #no pay, #free, #gain experience, #pig project, #paper towel guy, #spills cofee, #throw body, #fire in the hole, #tea, #body throw

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The Boss, a man, Alice, Wally, and Dilbert sit around a conference table. The Boss points to the man and says, "I'd like you all to meet our new co-op employee." The Boss says, "We don't pay him. He works for free to gain valuable job experience." The Boss says to the man, "I'm putting you in charge of the PTG project!" The man says, "Wow! What is it?!!" Alice replies, "PTG stands for 'Paper Towel Guy.'" Alice explains, "If somebody spills coffee it's your job to throw your body on it before it reaches one of us." Alice spills a cup on the table and says, "Oops." The man flies through the air, yelling, "Fire in the hole!!!" The man lies on top of the spill. He asks, "How'd I do?" Alice says, Not so good, kid. That was tea."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 10, 1995's comic on:


Tags #help desk, #reengineered, #out of existence, #never call again, #pie chart, #crush computer, #ass flour, #bake one hour, #free novel, #manual, #repeat process

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A bald man says into the telephone, "Hello, is this the 'Help Desk'?" Dogbert wears a headset and sits at a computer. He replies, "No, that group got reengineered out of existence." Dogbert continues, "I'm the new 'No Help Whatsoever Desk.' My job is to make sure you never call again." The man asks, "Can you tell me how to make a pie chart?" Dogbert replies, "Crush your computer into small chunks, add flour and bake one hour." Dogbert continues, "While you're waiting, read the free novel we sent you. It's a Spanish story about a guy named 'Manual.'" Dogbert continues, "Repeat the process until you get the desired result." The man sits next to an oven reading an instruction manual. He thinks, "This lost a LOT in the translation."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 29, 1996's comic on:


Tags #accounting, #airfare, #business trip, #saturday, #reimburse, #saturday hotel costs, #business activity, #understand, #economic choices, #waste money, #ugly brain dead troll, #free lunch money

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Dilbert approaches the cave where the accounting department is located. He groans. Dilbert tells a troll, "I saved $500 in airfare by extending my business trip to Saturday." Dilbert asks, "Why won't you reimburse me for the Saturday hotel costs?" The troll replies, "Saturday was not a business-related activity." Dilbert says, "Hmm . . . Let me see if I understand this . . ." Dilbert continues, "It's NOT business-related to make sensible economic choices . . ." Dilbert continues, "But it IS business-related to waste money like an ugly, brain-dead troll . . ." Dilbert arrives at home with his arm in a sling and wearing disheveled clothes. He tells Dogbert, "Then he beat me up and took my lunch money." Dogbert asks, "Are you saying I can get free lunch money by beating you up?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 05, 1997's comic on:


Tags #input, #fist of death, #corporate culture, #find cause, #caused by managers, #culture problem

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The Boss says, "Alice, I'd like your input on something." Alice thinks, "Uh-oh . . . My intuition is activating the fist of death. Must . . . Control . . ." They sit at a conference table and the Boss says, "Our corporate culture is bad." The Boss continues, "I'm trying to find the cause." Alice replies, "Well, obviously the problem isn't caused by managers who have no self-awareness . . . So what could it be?" Alice continues, "The culture problem must be coming from the other direction. Some EMPLOYEE must be causing this problem!" Alice continues, "I think it's the guy in the mail room. His bad culture is infecting the rest of us." The Boss stands in the mail room. A man says, "If this is about that conference room full of mail, I don't know how it got there."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 21, 1997's comic on:


Tags #Wally, #training, #big binder, #training forgotten, #binder last forever, #living monument, #temporary knowledge, #cubcile, #approve funding, #free up funds, #training budget

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Wally sticks his head into the boss' office. Wally says, "I'm back from training." Wally says, "I got a big binder." Wally holds out a big book. Wally says, "The training is already forgotten but the binder will last forever." Wally brings the binder to his chest. Wally says, "A living monument to temporary knowledge!" Wally says, "I'll put it in my cubicle with the others." Wally says, "Speaking of my cubicle, which direction is it?" The Boss points. Wally says, "Okay, thanks. That information should be in a binder." Dilbert says, "Did he approve funding for our project?" Wally says, "Not yet. Step one was to free up funds from the training budget."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 12, 1999's comic on:


Tags #personal goal, #self actaulization, #outdated binders, #alpahbetical, #reqiuested, #feel unfulfilled, #phase two, #project, #find meaning, #ship binders, #dump

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Asok stands in front of the boss desk and says, "I fear I am not meeting my personal goal of self actualization." Asok says, "I put all of our outdated binders in alphabetical order as you requested, yet I feel unfulfilled." Asok says, "I assume that in phase two of this project I will find meaning." The boss says, "Now ship the binders to the dump."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 14, 1999's comic on:


Tags #dogbert in hollywood, #book into movie, #keep real, #normal people, #watch movies

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Caption: "Dogbert in Hollywood" Dogbert sits at a restaurant table across from a naked movie executive wearing a goatee, glasses and boxer shorts on his head. The mogul says, "I'd like to turn your book into a movie." The executive says, "We have to keep it real, so any normal person can relate to it." Dogbert says, "do you know any normal people?" The movie man says, "No, but I'm willing to watch movies to learn about them."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 19, 1999's comic on:


Tags #free tissues, #engineers, #tissue, #secretary, #desk, #box

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Dilbert stands by Carol's desk where a box of tissues sit. Dilbert says, "May I have a tissue?" Carol says, "NO!" Carols says, "Why should the low-paid secretary provide free tissues to engineers?" Wally walks by and says, "Hey, free tissues!" Carol clenches her fists and says, "Gaaa!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 13, 1999's comic on:


Tags #queen bee, #marketing, #create a buzz, #free rope, #worthless engineer, #around neck, #over beam, #suicide, #business

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Caption: "Queen bee of Marketing" A large bee women wearing glasses sits on a thrown. She hands a piece of paper to a man and says, "See if you can create a buzzover this." The man says, "Yes, my queen." The queen reached out to Dilbert who carries a coil of rope and says, "Is that free rope? Give it to me, you worthless engineer!" The queen bee wraps the rope around her neck and says, "Look everyone! There's enough to go around my neck and over that beam!" Dilbert tiptoes away.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 23, 1999's comic on:


Tags #free medical advice, #some exercose, #lazy hog, #wait for ipo

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Dogbert is sitting at his computer and Dilbert stands behind him. Dogbert says: "I'm creating a web site of free medical advice." Dogbert's hears stand up as he screams: "Get some exercise, you lazy hog!!" Dilbert asks Dogbert: "Is that it?" Dogbert answers: "Nothing to do now but wait for the IPO."