Lying Down Comic Strips - Page 10

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

673 Results for Lying Down

View 91 - 100 results for lying down comic strips. Discover the best "Lying Down" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 19, 2012's comic on:


Tags #absent mindedness, #cruelty, #managers & supervisors, #entrpenuer, #bullying, #lying, #manipulation, #verbal abuse, #huge jerk, #biograophy, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: You need to act more like an entrepreneur. Entrepreneurs make decisions that will end in failure 90% of the time. They motivate people through bullying, lying, manipulation and verbal abuse. Entrepreneurs make their employees work so many hours that their personal lives and their bodies fall apart. Boss: I've been doing all that stuff for years. Dogbert: Has it worked? Boss: No. Dogbert: Well, in that case, you're not an entrepreneur. You're just a huge jerk. Boss: Is that why no one is writing my biography?

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 13, 2004's comic on:


Tags #death, #down throat fist, #eat, #mouth, #punches, #ram fist grab pants, #stock analysts, #stranger, #threatens coworker, #boss unfazed, #violence, #medical

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: I odnt know who you are, but I odnt like all of the questions you're asking. Im going to ram my fist down your throat , grab your pants and turn you inside out. Alice: eat, death stranger! The Boss: I see you've met our stock analyst,

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 25, 2005's comic on:


Tags #die die, #evil eye, #respect, #sat down wrong, #wedgie

View Transcript

Transcript

Tina: He doesn't respect my work. I can tell by the way he's sitting. "Two can play this game. I will hate you with the fury of a thousand suns!" "Die! Die! Die~" Dilbert: "Rats. I sat down wrong and gave myself a wedgie."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 21, 2005's comic on:


Tags #hired abusive, #lying, #control freak, #difficult coworkers

View Transcript

Transcript

"I hired an abusive, lying, back-stabbing, control freak." "But don't worry, because I'm sending you to a class on how to deal with difficult coworkers." "Wouldn't it have been better to..." "I've heard bad things about that guy."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 10, 2012's comic on:


Tags #brain parasite, #eliminate redundancy, #executives, #lying, #mergers & acquisitions, #more choices

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Our CEO has promised that the merger will cause no layoffs. Dilbert: Is that because he's too incompetent to eliminate obvious redundancies or is he just lying? Boss: Can you give me more choices? Dilbert: A brain parasite is making him say stupid stuff?

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 01, 2013's comic on:


Tags #new year's day, #optimism, #network down, #bad new years day, #good year

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: A fresh new year is upon us and I am brimming with optimism. Ugh. Our network at work is down because my pointy-haired boss wouldn't let me upgrade the software. Now I need to work all night to fix it. Maybe this means the next 364 days will be extra awesome. Dogbert: Yeah. That's how it works.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 07, 2013's comic on:


Tags #best policy, #lying, #powerless, #superpower, #truth, #honesty is best policy

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: Honesty is the best policy... whenever you think lying won't work. Otherwise, lying is awesome. It's like a freakin' superpower! Ratbert: Why am I here? Dogbert: I speak truth to the powerless.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 10, 2008's comic on:


Tags #aligns with priorities, #budget, #lying, #priorities, #questiong

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: Tina, put together a document showing how our budget aligns with out priorities. Tina: It doesn't. The Boss: Write it so it seems like it does. Tina: Isn't that lying? The Boss: I call it leadership by words.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 16, 2008's comic on:


Tags #baby eater, #gossipsize, #vicious rumors, #taken down, #pushed out, #mean spirited

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert says, "Ted, I've decided to gossipsize you." Catbert says, "I'm spreading vicious rumors about you until you feel compelled to quit." Ted says, "People are too smart to..." Someone says, "PIPE DOWN, BABY EATER!"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 25, 2008's comic on:


Tags #lying, #practice, #productive, #professional, #vacation

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "I'm in charge while our pointy-haired boss is on vacation." Dilbert says, "I expect each of you to be professional and productive during this time." Wally says, "Nice lying." Dilbert says, "I practiced in front of a mirror."