Training Expenses Comic Strips - Page 10

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184 Results for Training Expenses

View 91 - 100 results for training expenses comic strips. Discover the best "Training Expenses" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 07, 2010's comic on:


Tags #evil director of human resources, #payroll expenses low, #bad reviews, #employees, #defects, #list, #faults, #alphabetical, #business

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Catbert says, "We can keep our payroll expenses low by giving employees bad reviews." Catbert says, "Use this list of employee defects so you don't repeat yourself. It's less obvious this way." The Boss says, "Awkward, bumbling, cowardly, dumb?" Dilbert says, "My faults are suspiciously alphabetical."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 25, 2010's comic on:


Tags #communication skills, #training, #class, #stand on stool, #idiots, #pairs, #coworker

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Communication Skills Training Dogbert says, "Today you will learn how to listen to idiots without snoring." Dogbert says, "Break into groups of two, with one idiot and one non-idiot in each pair."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 29, 2010's comic on:


Tags #ceo, #monkey, #training, #successor, #groom, #worry, #bug, #eat, #fur, #animals

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Dilbert says, "We have a problem. Our CEO is grooming a winged monkey as his successor." Alice says, "When you say, 'grooming,' I hope you meant training." Monkey says, "I felt something move right here." CEO says, "Ho ho! Last one. I'm stuffed."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 16, 2009's comic on:


Tags #sitting, #meeting, #training, #raising hand, #firing, #confused, #surprised, #business

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The Boss says, "Who needs training to keep up with technology trends?" Ted says, "Me." The Boss says, "You're fired. I only want people who already know how to do their jobs." Ted says, "I did not see that coming." Wally says, "They don't have a class to fix that."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 11, 2007's comic on:


Tags #travel budget, #training budget, #training support, #software busdget, #training, #mandatory software upgarde, #brains

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Alice: Our travel budget is shot. The Boss: We'll take money out of the training budget. Dilbert: We need training to support our new product. The Boss: We'll use the software budget for training. Asok: We need to do a mandatory software upgrade. Fine. Move some money from teh travel budget to the software budget. The Boss: Geez, you people do nothing but complain. Meanwhile I'm managing my brains out. Alice: I wondered what happened to them. The boss: Happened to what?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 25, 2007's comic on:


Tags #in charge, #assignment, #budget, #approve expenses, #report, #project plan, #take blame, #project failed

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The Boss: You'll be in charge of this project. Dilbert: What's my budget?" The Boss: I'll need to approve all expenses. Dilbert: Who will report to me? The Boss: Your team will report to me and I'll tell them what to do. Dilbert: I'll start on the project plan. The Boss: Um... Skip that part. I already have a plan in my head. Dilbert: Hypothetically, who would take the blame if this project failed? Well, you're in charge...

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 26, 2007's comic on:


Tags #agile programming, #cpmplain, #training, #write code, #no more planning, #no more documentation, #just start writing

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The Boss: We're going to try something called agile programming. "That means no more planning and no more documentation. Just start writing code and complaining." Wally: "I'm glad it has a name." The boos: "That was your training."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 25, 2007's comic on:


Tags #firing, #incompetent, #another job, #lack of training, #new job, #incompetence, #normal

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The Boss: "Bruce, you're totally incompetent at your job, so I've moving you to another job." "I'm hoping your lack of training for your new job will make your incompetence seem normal." Half of this job is know when to give up."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 27, 2000's comic on:


Tags #replaced computers, #training class, #ignored requests, #sit unused, #slow way, #computer manual, #no time, #class, #coat, #invest, #plan future

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Girl: So they replaced our computers and never trained us. I told them we needed a training class but they ignored my requests. So our computers sit there unused while we do our work the slow way. Dilbert: why don't you real the computer manual? Girl: I don't have time for that! Dilbert: But you have time for a class? It doesn't add up. Girl: Im cold. Dilbert: You should try wearing a coat. they're terrific.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 30, 2014's comic on:


Tags #frustration, #hypocrisy, #mandatory training, #no use, #meetings, #regulatory paperwork, #make a point, #productive

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Boss: You didn't accomplish anything this month. Dilbert: Sure I did. I did the mandatory training that has no use, attended your mandatory meetings that don't help, and filled out regulatory paperwork for things we don't do. Boss: Are you trying to make a point? Dilbert: Nope. Just being productive.