Date Ends Comic Strips - Page 10

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222 Results for Date Ends

View 91 - 100 results for date ends comic strips. Discover the best "Date Ends" comics from Dilbert.com.

Longest Date Ever

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Longest Date Ever - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags dating, relationships, Women, Men, attraction, record, conversation

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Dilbert: My date lasted 53 minutes. Dogbert: That's your longest yet. Was she trapped in any way, such as under rubble? Dilbert: Nope! Dogbert: Wow. How'd you do it? Dilbert: I didn't talk for the first 49 minutes.

Unforseen Problems

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Unforseen Problems - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags building apps, completion date, problems, unforseen

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Dilbert: It will take four weeks to build the app, unless there are unforeseen problems. how often do we have unforeseen problems? Dilbert: One hundred percent of the time. Then whats the point of estimating a completion date? Dilbert: I was hoping to make you stop talking but t dint work.

Quarantine Before Date

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Quarantine Before Date  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags date, desperation, dinner, office workers, quarantine, technology, two weeks

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dilbert: would you like to go to dinner with me? women: only if you self-quarantine for two weeks first. dilbert: can do! women: well, it seems i underestimated your desperation.

Must Register To Date

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Must Register To Date - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, love & dating, managers & supervisors, company policy, human resources, new, dating, register, link, details, laptop

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boss on video call. boss: our new policy is that employees cannot date each other unless they register with human resources. this won't have much impact on my department because most of you are completely undatable. voice from laptop: ouch. boss: there's a link for details, but you won't need it.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags announcements, committee decided, file naming, month, year, day, space, temperature, airport, hat size, long meeting, best work

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Ted: The committee decided that the file naming convention will start with the date, in the order of month, year, day... then a space, then the temperature at the airport, and the hat size of the nearest squirrel. To be perfectly honest, it was a long meeting and we probably didn't do our best work toward the end.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags cruelty, employees, employee of month, october 1929, room to grow, past date, past month, business

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Boss: Congratulations, Asok. I'm naming you employee of the month. Your month is October 1929. Room to grow.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags industry & manufacturing, manufacturing, more green, ac units, elastic bands, hats covered eyes, don't shoot messenger, elbonian, engineering

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Boss: We told our Elbonian factory to be more green, so they turned off their AC units. The heat caused the elastic bands in their hats to stretch until their eyes were covered. And that's why we'll miss our ship date. CEO: They say you shouldn't shoot the messenger, but no one warns you how much you'll want to.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags computers & peripherals, electronic mail, reschedule, installation, defense, miscommunication, email, denial

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Boss: I told you to reschedule the installation date. Dilbert: That conversation never happened. Maybe you planned to say it and then the thought morphed into a false memory. Boss: I'm sure I emailed you. Dilbert: You might want to pick a defense that's less checkable.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business failures/bankruptcies, saving & investment, raises, debt crisis, economic uncertainty, board of directors, stock options, money

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Boss: I can't give you a raise because the Elbonian debt crisis has created economic uncertainty. Luckily for us, our board of directors granted our CEO more stock options so he won't leave during uncertain times. Dilbert: What happens when the uncertainty ends? Boss: Then he'll exercise stock options.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags lunch date, not attracted, technoloigy, only like tech, people are creepy, delivery system, viruses, germs, picture, photoshop, people hater

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Tina: Wally, do you want to go to lunch? Wally: No, thanks. I"m a digisexual now. Tina: What: Wally: I'm no longer attracted to people. I only like technology. People creep me out. You're basically a delivery system for viruses, germs, and unreasonable favor requests. I'm willing to take a picture of you, but that's as far as I'll go. Tina: This is the most disturbing conversation I've ever had. Wally: Thank goodness for Photoshop.