Great Team Comic Strips - Page 10

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578 Results for Great Team

View 91 - 100 results for great team comic strips. Discover the best "Great Team" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #construction bid, #award for job, #team of skilled craftmen, #ex wife, #truck on fire

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Dilbert holds a piece of paper and says, "Your construction bid is the lowest so I have to award you the job." Dilbert asks, "When can your team of highly skilled craftsmen begin?" The beaver responds, "I'll call you." The beaver is leaning over a huge book titled, "Excuses." He says into the telephone, "Day one: My ex-wife set my truck on fire."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #critical, #engineer, #handshake, #head with lies, #new team player, #parinoid, #soft and clammy hand, #undead, #engineering

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The Boss introduces a woman to Dilbert, "Dilbert, meet your new team member, Peri Noid." Peri Noid extends her hand and asks, "Why haven't you invited me to a meeting? Who's filling your head with lies?" Peri Noid continues, "Your hand is soft and clammy! Are you the undead?!!" Dilbert replies, "Engineer."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #new product brochures, #design awards, #great, #award winning designer, #can't stop complaining

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In a meeting, a co-worker hands Dilbert a brochure and exclaims, "The new product brochures have already won design awards!" Dilbert responds, "That's great, but our product won't do any of the things you claim here." The co-worker crosses his arm and says, "Well, who should we believe - the award-winning designer or the guy who can't stop complaining?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #great leader, #read books, #inspired leaders for centuries, #first pyramids, #12 year old pharoah, #look naughty

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Dogbert is standing next to a stack of books on The Boss' desk. He says, "If you want to be a great leader, read the books that have inspired leaders for centuries." Dogbert holds up a book and says, "For example, the first pyramids were built after a twelve-year-old pharaoh read this book." The Boss reads the title, "Things That Look Naughty From Miles Away."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #lazy rich, #new product, #rebate, #1 million, #banking on forgetting, #great bargain, #one person

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Dogbert: "Don't sell your new product for $29. Offer it at $1,000,029 with a rebate of $1,000,000." "People will think it's a great bargain when in fact it's just a huge inconvenience." The Boss: "And all we need is one person to forget to mail in the rebate forms." Dogbert: "We'll target the lazy rich."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #gerbil, #marketing team, #cables, #engineering support

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Ted: I moved the meeting to Tuesday. Dilbert: "I can't make it on Tuesday." " Ted: Somehow I think the marketing team can survive one meeting without engineering support." Marketing team: "We'll include a pet gerbil in every box. We'll just need to make sure it's in a sealed plastic bag so it won't chew on the cables."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #resume, #stole stuff, #great stuff, #caught in parking lot, #technically not stealing, #buried german tourust, #guilty, #crazy, #admits to bizarreness

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The Boss: "According to your resume, you left your last job because you allegedly stole lots of great stuff." "Technically, if they catch you in the parking lot, and you give it back, that's not stealin'." "And you buried a German tourist in your cellar." "One time!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #lunch, #great opportunity, #multi level marketing, #bible, #diet plan

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"Hey, Dilbert! How would you like to go to lunch?" "Alone." "Alone! Ha ha! but then you'd miss out on this great opportunity!" "It's multi-level marketing plus a diet plan suggested by the bible!" "Shoot me."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #great design, #big seller, #attractive, #honor flaw, #functionality, #sex crimes, #accuses user, #cute

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"Product designer" "The new product is selling like crazy, thanks to it's great design." "Sales" "It's so attractive that people over look its minor flaws in functionality." "For example, it accuses the user of sex crimes whenever company comes over." "And it's cute!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #secretaries (office), #increase work productivity, #yammering, #salted earth, #great plan

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Boss: I just thought of a great idea for increasing workplace productivity. Carol: Does it involve standing near my workplace and yammering while I try to work? Boss: Geez. Who salted the Earth? Carol: Your plan is going great so far.