Ignorance (Knowledge) Comic Strips - Page 10
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177 Results for Ignorance (Knowledge)
View 91 - 100 results for ignorance (knowledge) comic strips. Discover the best "Ignorance (Knowledge)" comics from Dilbert.com.
Saturday March 11,
2000
Tags higher drag coefficient, interns head, quantify benefits, knowledge management
Transcript
Alice says to the Boss: "I've been asked to quantify the benefits of our knowledge management systems." She points to a photograph of an intern: "I measured our intern's head to see if it got bigger." She explains: "The higher drag coefficient means we lost a little in the sandwich-fetching department."
Friday May 12,
2000
Tags untrained eye, no work, raging sea, knowledge managemnet, strategic thinking, gurgling sound
Transcript
Wally says to the Boss, "To the untrained eye it might look as if I do no work." Wally continues as he points to his head, "But inside here is a raging sea of knowledge management and strategic thinking." Wally then asks the Boss, "Did you hear that gurgling sound?"
Monday June 12,
2000
Tags employees, ignorant, intranet collaboration, sign it, their ignorance, tools, dogbert consults, business
Transcript
As a consultant, Dogbert says to the Boss "All of your employees are ignorant." Dobgert continues, "I can fix that by selling you intranet collaboration tools." The Boss says to Dgbert in an uneasy voice, "But if they're sharing their ignorance..." Dogbert thinks to himself, "Sign it, sign it, sign it..."
Tuesday June 13,
2000
Tags share knowledge, new intranet, collaboration software, knowledge to share, hurst, true, hoarding
Transcript
Asok says to Dilbert and Wally, "Who wants to share knowlege with me via our new intranet collaboration software?" Dilbert says to Asok, "You don't have any knowledge to share." Asok replies, "Ouch. It hurts because it's true." Wally says to Dilbert, "I'm hoarding my knowledge in case I ever need it."
Thursday October 26,
2000
Tags internet, personal rasons, whole world, knowledge, entertainmemt, finger tips, ice cream, so hungry, eating in cubicle, technology
Transcript
Dilbert, sitting at his computer, thinks, "I..must..resist..using..the internet for personal reasons." Dilbert thinks, "Gaa! There's a whole world of knowledge and entertainment at my fingertips...teasing me!" Catbert dangles an ice-cream cone from a pole in front of Dilbert. Dilbert says, "Ice Cream! I'm so hungry!" Catbert says, "No eating in your cubicle."
Friday June 01,
2001
Tags no raise, not enough questions, meetings, care about job, thirst for knowledge, likes wood
Transcript
Asok the Intern sits across from the Boss. The Boss says, "I can't give you a raise. You don't ask enough questions in meetings." The Boss continues, "Questions show that you care about your job and have a thirst for knowledge." Asok is seen at a staff meeting, hand raised, asking, "Who else likes wood?"
Saturday October 11,
2003
Tags top down budget, bottom up budget, ignorance, cruelty, lying, optimism, cancel, wasted hour
Transcript
Man: "I averaged the top-down budget with the bottom-up budget." "As you can see, the ignorance and cruelty canceled out the lying and optimism." Alice: "Do you have anything to cancel out feelings of a wasted hour?" Man: "Have you tried despair?"
Tuesday July 13,
2004
Tags negotiate sale, voice activated hassock business, no lying, plenty of ommissions, tactical ignorance
Transcript
The Boss: "I want you to negotiate the sale of our voice activated hassock business." "You're not allowed to lie, but I expect plenty of omissions, misdirections, exaggerations..." "...Unjustified optimism, lost documents, unclear explanations, gray areas and tactical ignorance. Oh, and say that we have other offers."
Thursday July 26,
2012
Tags database analyst, tech writer, database anaylst, ignorance with certainty
Transcript
Boss: Tina, our database analyst quit, so I need you to take over that job. Tina: I'm curious... how long do you think it takes to train a tech writer to be a database analyst? Boss: Forty-five minutes. Tina: I like how you punctuate ignorance with certainty.
Friday July 27,
2012
Tags compliment, punch and hate ignorance, certainty, punctuate ignorance with ceratinty
Transcript
Boss: Tina gave me a great compliment. She said I punch and hate ignorance with certainty. Dilbert: Are you sure she didn't say you punctuate your ignorance with certainty? Boss: I'm positive! Hah-cha!

