Pistol Whipping Arm Comic Strips - Page 10

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124 Results for Pistol Whipping Arm

View 91 - 100 results for pistol whipping arm comic strips. Discover the best "Pistol Whipping Arm" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 07, 2000's comic on:


Tags #help remind you, #what would dogbert do?, #bumper sticker, #wwdd, #sticker, #ratbert, #ask yourself

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Sitting on the arm of a chair Catbert says to Ratbert, "Always ask yourself, what would Dogbert doe?" Catbert says holding a sticker, "This bumper sticker will help remind you." Ratbert replies, "Gimme." Ratbert places the bumper sticker over his eyes and attempts to walk. Catbert says, "Umm...I wouldn't do that." Ratbrt replies, "You really should try it."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 17, 1999's comic on:


Tags #security, #equipment removal, #authorization, #signatures, #turn tables, #sign form, #birth certificate

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Dilbert walks by the security desk with a computer part under his arm. The guard says, "Stop." The guard says, "Show me your "equipment removal authorization form." Dilbert shows him a piece of paper. The guard says, "This requires the signature of TWO employees." Dilbert hands the guard a pen and says, "Good catch. You'd better sign it so it's legal." The guard says, "This seems wrong... but I don't know why why." Dilbert says, "And I'll need to see your birth certificate" The guard says, "I don't have one." Dilbert says, "Then how do you know you were born?" The guard thinks, "I have baby pictures, but they could have been doctored by my alleged mom."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 06, 2001's comic on:


Tags #high school reunion, #whos incredible, #point to name, #gullible people

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Dilbert, holding a book, says to Dogbert, "I'm bringing my copy of 'Who's Incredible' to my high school reunion." Flipping through the pages of the book, Dilbert says to Dogbert, "If anyone asks how I'm doing, I'll casually open the book and point to my name." At his high school reunion, Dilbert talks to a man and woman. Dilbert has his copy of 'Who's Incredible' under his arm. The man says, "I got rich selling a book called "Who's Incredible' to gullible people."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 02, 2001's comic on:


Tags #set up instructions, #read instructions, #true engineer, #set up, #slurping sounds

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Dilbert and Alice open a box as Wally stands by, drinking coffee. Alice says, "Dilbert, we should read the set-up instructions." Alice and Dilbert lift the contraption out of the box as Dilbert replies, "Alice, a true engineer never reads the set-up instructions." Wally takes a sip of coffee. Dilbert continues holding the contraption as Alice reads the instruction manual: "It says to keep it away from any slurping sounds." Just then, an arm reaches out and grabs Wally's head.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 17, 2001's comic on:


Tags #evil hr director, #average performance, #group to high, #lower ratings, #actual perfromance, #affect erfromance

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Headline: Catbert: Evil H.R. Director. Catbert is standing on The Boss' desk. Catbert reports, "The average performance evaluation for your group is too high." The Boss asks, "Do you want me to lower their ratings or their actual performance?" Catbert responds, "Whatever." Dilbert is sitting at his computer. The Boss is standing behind him with one arm reached out towards the back of Dilbert's head. Dilbert says, "This is starting to affect my performance." The Boss replies, "Why? I'm not touching you."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 22, 2001's comic on:


Tags #complaints, #dating, #dog is perfect, #improve, #list, #lose weight, #need improvements, #new odor, #new wardrobe, #polish up, #new haircut, #relationships

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The dark haired woman from the gym and Dilbert are sitting on the couch. Dogbert is sitting on the arm rest next to them. The woman says, "I made a list of all the ways you need to improve in order to keep dating me." Dilbert reads the list aloud: "Lose forty pounds, new wardrobe, new haircut, new car, new odor..." The woman interupts, "But your dog is perfect. How'd that happen?" Dogbert replies, "When can you move in?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 12, 2001's comic on:


Tags #crossgrain on accounting, #system, #lose respect, #job security, #whole job, #accounts erceivable, #not expense, #no complaints

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The Boss has his arm around Asok. He says to Ed, "Ed, I want you to crosstrain Asok on the accounting system." The Boss continues, "And don't worry that you'll lost respect and job security if Asok learns your whole job in one day." Asok and Ed are sitting at a computer. Asok says, "I don't think 'Accounts Receivable' is an expense." Ed replies, "No one has complained yet."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 15, 2001's comic on:


Tags #English, #imcomprehensible, #weseleze, #sign something, #lawyer, #miss deadline, #frat brother, #legal

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Dilbert is meeting with the weasel nosed business associate. Dibert says, "Hey, we negotiated this deal in English but your contract is incomprehensible weaseleze!" The weasel covers his mouth sneakily. Dilbert continues, "My only choices are to sign something I don't understand or get my lawyer involved and miss my deadline!" Phil appears and puts his arm around the weasel. Dilbert says, "Ha! Now you're going to heck!" Phil responds, "Are you hassling my frat brother?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 13, 2002's comic on:


Tags #loud personal calls, #medical mel, #squishy sound, #cubicle neighbor, #patch eye, #sling, #wounded, #office

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The Boss is with a toothless man who has a broken arm and an eye patch. The Boss says to Dilbert, "Meet your new cubicle neighbor. His name is Mel." The Boss continues, "Mel will be making loud personal calls all day." Dilbert is sitting in his cubicle. He hears Mel on the phone, "Is it supposed to make a squishy sound? Listen to this..."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 09, 2000's comic on:


Tags #added up columns, #grocery list, #marketing starategy, #pros and cons, #quantified, #unhealthy

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Ted, Dilbert, Alice and the boss are sitting in a meeting. Ted says: "I quantified our marketing strategy because you insisted." Ted holds up a sheet of paper with lists on it and says: "I listed the pros and cons on this sheet." Ted says to Dilbert: "Then I added up the columns." Ted puts the sheet of paper on the table and says: "The pros outnumber the cons, so we're going forward." Dilbert has the sheet of paper in his hands now and says to Ted: "Let's see. Your cons include...unhealthy and unprofitable. Dilbert keeps reading from the sheet of paper and says: "Your pros are...waffles, eggs, bananas and milk." Ted says to Dilbert: "Oops. That might be my grocery list." Ted gets angry and shakes his arm with the sheet of paper up and down and screams to Dilbert: "You fool! I told you quantification never works!!"