Private Key Comic Strips - Page 10

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

131 Results for Private Key

View 91 - 100 results for private key comic strips. Discover the best "Private Key" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #amoeba, #boss, #cry, #cubicle, #doing work, #gets fired, #key board, #one cell organism, #secrete

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: This isn't working out. I have to let you go, Maybe you can get your old job back at far works. The Boss: Great, Now he's going to secrete.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #email, #addiction, #monkey on back, #resist, #key board with foot

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: I have an email monkey on my back, but I can quit whenever I want. I don't need to check it every minute. I can resist. But Look! The stupid monkey hot my keyboard with his foot!

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #vendor, #drinks, #answer questions, #works, #already wroking, #date, #private, #business, #confused, #misunderstanding

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice sits next to Dilbert and Wally at a conference table. She says, "I'm meeting a vendor for drinks tonight. He says it's the only time he has to answer my questions." Dilbert turns to Alice and says, "If that works, please let us know." Alice replies, "What do you mean 'works'? And who is 'us'?" Wally exclaims, "It's already working!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #ergonomic evaluation, #key board, #supposed to hurt, #feel hands, #whole body numb

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss is sitting at his desk. Asok the intern asks stiffly, "May I have an ergonomic evaluation of my chair and keyboard?" The Boss responds, "Asok, work is supposed to hurt. That's how you know you're doing it right." Asok exclaims, "I can't feel my hands!" To which The Boss replies, "My whole body is numb!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #phone calls, #plane, #hello jack, #hi jack, #misunderstood, #scared people, #flight attendant, #alraming, #irplane, #learning from trip

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: what were your key learnings from the trip? Dilbert: I learned that there are people you shouldn't call from a plane. Earlier that day Dilbert: Hi Jack!

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #menagerlike work, #criticize, #reorganize, #key board, #hot slef, #noredom, #offcie, #re organizing

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: It's been a few hours since I've done anything managerish. I could criticize someone...nah. I could have a meeting...nah. Im reorganizing the department. Dilbert: excuse me while i beat myself with my keyboard.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #wretched slaves, #freinds, #private offcies, #cubilces, #roman general, #dogbertious, #slaves, #treatment, #evil dogbert

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss: I'm reading the leadership secrets of the famous Roman general Dogbertious. "Heres a good one: 'Put your wretced slaves in cubicles.'" Heres another: Don't read this book to wretched slaves"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #evil director, #himan resources, #downsized, #free dvd, #live off land, #shoplifting, #running fast

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert: Evil Director of Human Resources "Don't worry about being downsized after the reorganization." "Downsized employees will get my free DVD that teaches you how to live off the land." "The key to successful shoplifting is running very fast."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #sales target, #have bad credit, #bonuses, #accounts receivable, #getting bonuses

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: "The only way to meet our sales target is by selling to customers who have bad credit." The Boss: "That's okay, we'll get our bonuses before anyone realizes that the accounts recievables are worhtless." The Boss: "The key to getting bonusses is acting surprised later." Dilbert: "I feel unclean."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally Interviews "The job doesn't have a base salary." "You'll pay us $1,000 per month and work from home. If you make any money for us, we'll give you 10%." "You're not allowed to have business cards. And you can't use our name." "Can I have a private office in my house?"