Put On Head Happy Comic Strips - Page 10
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Dilbert stands next to a projection on the wall. Dilbert says, "This concludes my presentation. Are there are any questions?" The people in the meeting have their hands to their ears and look terrified. One man says, "How do I get the boredome out of my head?!" Dilbert thinks, "The funny thing is that I'll list thia on my annual accomplishments." The people say, in unison, "Air! I need air!!!"
You're getting a visit from Hammer head Bob! I can't tell when Im boring, I might be boring now and I don't even know it, There's no way to end a conversation with me; I'll follow you to the bathroom. Dilbert: Im nailed.
Caption: "Catbert: Evil H.R. Director" Catbert says, to Alice, "Alice, you blame others for your low morale." Catbert points at Alice and says, "BUT THE REAL PROBLEM IS YOUR TIGHT PANTYHOSE!!" Alice says, "I don't think so." CAtbert says, "Then how do you explain your oversized head?"
It's the morning, Dilbert wears his robe. Dogbert reads the newspaper. Dilbert says, "I lost two pounds!" Dogbert says, "I'm happy. Guess why." Dilbert says, "Because you're supportive?" Dogbert says, "Because there's less of you." Dilbert says, "I was hoping for a scrap of encouragement." Dogbert says, "I'm all taooed out. Try back tommorrow."
Caption "Catbert: evil h.r. director" Catbert looks into Asok's cubicle. Catbert says, "Asok, you have taken too many training classes." Asok says, "Too many?" Catbert says, "You're too skilled now. There's a risk you'll leave for a better job." Asok stands blind folded. Catbert holds a huge hammer above his head. Asok says, "Does the "secret untraining method' work every time?" Catbert says, "I've never tried it before."
Dilbert says, "That's my opinion." Dilbert's words fly across the room towards the boss' teflon pan head. The words drip across the boss' head. The boss says, "Nie try, but I can wipe it off with a damp sponge!!"
The cube farmer walks through the cubicle and thinks, "My cube farm has an excellent yield this year." The farmer looks at Wally and says, "I reckon I'll have to put this one down so he won't reproduce." The farmer says, "Sorry." Wally says, "No problem; I hear that a lot."
Asok and Dilbert stand in front of the boss' desk. Dilbert says, "we need six weeks to make a good product design." Asok says, "You gave us three." Dilbert says, "Thanks to your leadership, the products is bad, our stock will plunge, and our lives are totally meaningless." Dilbert says, "Oh, and happy birthday." Asok holds a letter out and says, "We all signed a card."
Caption: "Catbert: Evil H.R. Director" Catbert leans over the cubicle wall of a bearded man. Catbert says, "So you think you're leaving for a better job?" The man says, "Yes." Catbert says, "Your agreement with us bans you from working in this industry if you quit. Ha!" Catbert dances on the man's head. Catbert says, "Holy cripes! It DOES say you can dance on my head." Catbert says, "Hold still."
Dilbert pionts at an overhead projection and says, "Then if you.." A man interrupts and says, "...analyze the data." Dilbert thinks, "It's a hostile takeover of my presentation!" The man steps in front of Dilbert and says, "... you'll see a pattern." Dilbert sits on the couch at home in his robe eating ice cream. Dogbert says, "And you let him do it?" Dilbert says, "He had a laser ponter the size of your head."