Self Deception Comic Strips - Page 10
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314 Results for Self Deception
View 91 - 100 results for self-deception comic strips. Discover the best "Self Deception" comics from Dilbert.com.
Sunday March 28,
2021
Wally's Advice
Tags Advice, audience, business, complain, connection, droopy, emotion, emotional intelligence, Entertainment, hate, medical, persuasive, problems, sad, sarcasm, self-deprecating, slide deck, spouse, technology, tragic, wife
Transcript
boss: if there anything i can do to make my slide deck more persuasive? wally: you need to make an emotional connection with your audience. start with a tragic personal story that makes everyone sad and droopy. then talk about your various medical problems, and don't spare the details. then complain about your wife because most people hate their spouses too, so they can relate. and don't spare the self-deprecating humor because everyone can relate to knowing you are a loser. boss: wow. thank you for that advice. i'll make those changes. dilbert: how much do you hate him? wally: it's more about my entertainment.
Friday March 25,
2011
Tags deception, managers & supervisors, learn from mistakes, make alits, wrong this year, coincidence, perfromance reviews, management legends, business
Transcript
The Boss says, "We can learn from our mistakes. Let's make a list of the things that each of you did wrong this year." Dilbert says, "It is just a coincidence that our annual performance reviews are due next week?" The Boss says, "It would have been the stuff of management legends." Catbert says, "Very nice try."
Wednesday January 05,
2011
Tags deception, questioning
Transcript
The Boss says, "How much confidence do you have in your cost projections?" Dilbert says, "I trust them like I trust you." The Boss says, "Are the assumptions realistic?" Dilbert says, "They're as real as your good judgment."
Tuesday June 14,
2011
Tags cruelty, frustration, idea, never work, reject hypothesis, self doubt
Transcript
Man: Your idea will never work. Dilbert: At what point did you reject the hypothesis that you're too dumb to understand how good the idea is? I'm becoming even less of a people person.
Wednesday July 13,
2011
Tags cruelty, deception, ignorance (knowledge), helicopter from kit, link to website, too dumb, pliers
Transcript
Carol: You should build your own helicopter from a kit. I'll send you a link to the website. It's only dangerous for people who are too dumb to know how dumb they are. Boss: Is it as easy as it sounds? I have pliers. Carol: Yes!
Monday September 12,
2011
Tags deception, flattery, suspicion, manipulate, full benefit, wisdom, george clooney
Transcript
Dilbert: We can manipulate the pointy-haired menace into picking the right plan by comparing it to the worst alternatives. Alice: But then we wouldn't get the full benefit of his wisdom. Dilbert: Is he behind me? Alice: It might be George Clooney. I can't tell them apart.
Tuesday September 13,
2011
Tags deception, electronic mail, answer email, signal to noise, technical problem
Transcript
Boss: You didn't answer my email. Dilbert: I tried to read it but the signal-to-noise ratio was too low. Boss: So it's sort of a technical problem? Dilbert: Okay.
Friday September 30,
2011
Tags deception, hypocrisy, open door policy, suggestions, not importnat, extra work
Transcript
Boss: Thanks for the suggestion, Asok. I'm going to ignore it because you're not important to my career and I don't like doing extra work. Asok: I'm confused. Why do you have an open-door policy? Boss: How can you leave if the door isn't open?
Tuesday November 15,
2011
Tags cruelty, deception, trust and stupidity, demonstrates question, difference
Transcript
Asok: Wally, is there any difference between trust and stupidity? Wally: Hold that thought. I'll be right back. Asok: Oh.
Saturday November 26,
2011
Tags deception, office workers, planning, assignments, entre schedule, next assignment
Transcript
Wally: I spent all of last week planning how to get everything done this week. Boss: Add one more thing. Wally: Okay, but I'll need to replan my entire schedule. Boss: How long will that take? Wally: Until you give me the next assignment.