Successful Engineer Comic Strips - Page 10

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

292 Results for Successful Engineer

View 91 - 100 results for successful engineer comic strips. Discover the best "Successful Engineer" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 21, 2002's comic on:


Tags #demoting to engineer, #job to crony, #real work, #pretend, #working, #one wally

View Transcript

Transcript

The new Senior Vice President says to The Boss, "I'm demoting you to engineer so I can give your current job to one of my cronies." The Boss exclaims, "I won't survive. I don't know how to do real work!" The Boss says to Wally, "Wally, can you teach me how to pretend to be working?" Wally replies, "Whoa! There can only be one Wally."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 27, 2002's comic on:


Tags #bandwidth, #budget, #double click, #engineer for week, #interface, #ping director, #scope, #batch mode

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says to Alice and Dilbert, "Let's ping the director of marketing and double-click on the budget." The Boss continues, "Then we can interface in batch mode and put a scope on his bandwidth." Alice cringes and exclaims, "Please stop doing that!" The Boss adds, "Have I mentioned that I was an engineer for a week?"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 10, 2003's comic on:


Tags #makes me happy, #exoskleton, #bad job, #social life, #chemicals, #illusion, #engineer, #soul, #therapy, #psychology, #engineering

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert is lying on a therapist's couch in an exoskeleton. He says, "My medication makes me happy despite my exoskeleton, bad job, and social life." Dilbert continues, "If chemicals can change the way I think and what I enjoy, then free will must be an illusion." The therapist asks, "What about your soul?" Dilbert responds, "I'm an engineer."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 01, 2003's comic on:


Tags #critical, #engineer, #handshake, #head with lies, #new team player, #parinoid, #soft and clammy hand, #undead, #engineering

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss introduces a woman to Dilbert, "Dilbert, meet your new team member, Peri Noid." Peri Noid extends her hand and asks, "Why haven't you invited me to a meeting? Who's filling your head with lies?" Peri Noid continues, "Your hand is soft and clammy! Are you the undead?!!" Dilbert replies, "Engineer."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 09, 2003's comic on:


Tags #body double, #despots, #most successful, #double, #take hit, #personal dress code, #dress intern

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert stands on The Boss' desk and says, "You need a body double. They're popular with your most successful despots." Dogbert continues, "If someone tries to ambush you into making a decision, the double will take the hit." The Boss approaches Asok with a pointy-haired hat in his hands and says, "I want you to think of this as your own personal dress code."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 18, 2003's comic on:


Tags #at party, #camera advice, #engineer, #physical, #wally dressed as engineer, #engineering

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert is talking to a woman at a party. The woman says, "You're an engineer, maybe you can tell me what kind of digital camera I should buy." Dilbert responds, "Would you ask a doctor for free advice?" The woman says, "I got a complete physical by the appetizer." Wally approaches them in a doctor's uniform and says, "Yeah, I'm never off duty."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 26, 2003's comic on:


Tags #engineer, #moved to marketing, #lisa, #old apple computer, #old wife, #engineering

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: I was an engineer before I moved to marketing. Now I don't remember how to turn on my lisa, Dilbert: You have an old lisa computer from apple? Man: Old wife.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 26, 2004's comic on:


Tags #bad attitude, #new engineer, #paid more, #justify, #smile

View Transcript

Transcript

"Why does the new engineer get paid more than I do? How do you justify that?" "Unlike you, he doesn't have a bad attitude." "I have a good attitude. Look at this smile. Look!" "My eyes!"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 16, 2004's comic on:


Tags #new prodcut, #wildly successful, #under water, #allocate expenses

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Our new product is either wildly successful or underwater... DIlbert: depending on ho you want to allocate management over head expenses. Dilbert: Apparently you don't want to think about it and get back to me

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 09, 2004's comic on:


Tags #video compression, #electrical engineer, #only non engineeer, #stating obvious, #condescending

View Transcript

Transcript

Let me explain what video compression is... "Would you stop if I pointed out that everyone in this room except you is an electrical engineer?" "Zeros are round and fat compared to ones..." "I'm begging you..."