Trade Off Comic Strips - Page 10
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593 Results for Trade Off
View 91 - 100 results for trade off comic strips. Discover the best "Trade Off" comics from Dilbert.com.
Wednesday May 12,
2010
Tags #reprimand, #sign-off, #marketing, #paper, #vivid memory, #unicorns, #false, #conversation, #business
Transcript
The Boss says, "I told you to get a sign-off from marketing before you sent this around." Dilbert says, "How vivid is your false memory of that conversation?" The Boss says, "It's plenty vivid." Dilbert says, "Were unicorns involved?"
Tuesday October 26,
2010
Tags #project plan, #failure, #slide, #complicated, #trade show, #vortex of failure
Transcript
Dilbert says, "Our project plan is so complicated that failure is assured." Dilbert says, "But complexity is too abstract for you to manage, so instead you will spray me energy into the vortex of failure." Dilbert says, "Go." The Boss says, "I need you to finish it six weeks sooner for a trade show."
Thursday November 18,
2010
Tags #email, #boss, #clear, #nonsense, #act randomly, #turn on and off
Transcript
Dilbert says, "I got your e-mail. It almost made sense." Dilbert says, "My plan is to act randomly and hope for the best." The Boss says, "Perhaps I can be more clear." Dilbert says, "Really? You can just turn it on and off like that?"
Friday December 03,
2010
Tags #work, #depressed, #cubicle, #take off jacket, #sit at computer, #powerpoint slides, #happy, #devil, #giant spoon, #prince of insufficient light
Transcript
Dilbert says, "What fantasy will I use today to stave off madness?" Dilbert says, "Maybe I'll be 'the man who changed an industry with his powerpoint slides.'" Phil says, "I have a report of unauthorized happiness inside of a head."
Thursday December 09,
2010
Tags #tv newsroom, #switches off brain, #abilities, #science segment, #film celebrities, #rational decisions
Transcript
TV Newsroom Dilbert says, "I invented a drug that switches off the brain's ability to make rational decisions." Dilbert says, "I think it would make a good story for your science segment." Man says, "Or we could drug-dart celebrities and film what happens." Dilbert says, "For science, right?"
Saturday March 05,
2011
Tags #exhibitions, #honesty, #relations between the sexes, #chat me up, #mammary filter, #trade show, #free stuff, #job orders
Transcript
At the trade show Woman says, "Are you actually interested in this product or are you just trying to chat me up?" Dilbert says, "The show is too big to see everything, so I use a mammary filter to decide who I talk to." Woman says, "You use a what?" Dilbert says, "Do you have any free stuff or job offers?"
Monday March 07,
2011
Tags #envy, #exhibitions, #technology trade show, #so huge, #illusion, #great cup holder
Transcript
Wally says, "What happened to you?" Dilbert says, "I went to a technology trade show." Dilbert says, "The event was so huge that it made me feel small. But it's just an illusion." Wally says, "For an illusion, you make a great cup holder." Dilbert says, "Dude. Not cool."
Sunday June 13,
2010
Tags #consult, #critic, #argument, #waste of time, #rip off, #expensive, #angry
Transcript
Dogbert Consults Dogbert says, "A good leader cultivates internal critics so all sides of an argument are heard." Dogbert says, "For example, I cultivated Dilbert to argue the point I just made." Dilbert says, "Your premise is that a leader is not qualified to make decisions without the help of critics." Dilbert says, "But selecting the appropriate critic is itself a decision." Dilbert says, "There is no reason to assume a leader is any better at selecting a critic than he is at making any other decision." Dilbert says, "Your overpaid consultant is recommending that you add randomness to an already flawed process." Dilbert says, "In summary, this meeting is a waste of time, and your consultant is ripping you off." Dogbert says, "How great was that? You owe me $400 for my time."
Sunday January 28,
2007
Tags #meeting staff, #chain of command, #fake hone calls, #hanging around office, #waiting to get off phone, #weirdo, #go away
Transcript
Ned: I enjoyed meeting your staff. Keep up the good work. Dilbert: This isn't my staff. I report to the guy who reports to you." Ned: Really? Which one of you reports to me?" Well, that explains why you keep hanging around outside my office. The Boss: I've been going to your office for years, waiting for you to get off the phone so I could talk to you. Ned: I've been making fake phone calls for years, hoping the weirdo outside my office would go away." Keep up the good work."
Friday August 03,
2007
Tags #use open source, #emergency, #trade publication, #no one gets hurt
Transcript
The Boss: From now on, I want you to use open source software for everything we do. It's free. Dilbert: I'll be right back." "It's an emergency. I think he's been reading. Alice: We know you have a trade publication in here. Hand it over and no one has to get hurt."