Vendor Challenge Comic Strips - Page 10

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

131 Results for Vendor Challenge

View 91 - 100 results for vendor challenge comic strips. Discover the best "Vendor Challenge" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #new employee, #obsolete computer, #spirit crush, #cubicle, #safety hazrds, #look busy, #meaningful assignment, #wait, #binder, #desk

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss introduces Matt to Dilbert. The Boss says, "Dilbert, this is our newest employee, Matt." In a private fashion, The Boss says, "Would you mind ..." Dilbert finishes his sentence, "Crushing his spirit?" The Boss confirms, "Right." Dilbert shows Matt his cubicle. Dilbert says to Matt, "This little box will be your home for sixty hours a week." Dilbert and Matt enter the cubicle. Dilbert points to a binder and says, "It comes with an obsolete computer and a binder about safety hazards." Dilbert continues, "Your challenge is to look busy until someone gives you a meaningful assignment." Matt inquires, "How long will that take?" As Dilbert exits the cubicle, he comments, "I'm still waiting for mine." Matt proceeds to read the binder in front of his computer. "Safety tip 1: Don't sit near any obsolete computers."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #hallway, #boss, #Dilbert, #tissue, #write down, #rips, #ink blot, #mishandled, #ignored

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says to the Boss, "I need some management fire power." Dilbert begins explaining to the Boss, "The VP of marketing says we can't use the vendor we selected." The Boss fumbles in his pocket and says, "Let me write this down." Dilbert asks, "Do you want some paper?" The Boss replies, "No, I'll just use this tissue...oops." Dilbert continues, "Anyway, the other vendor can't deliver." The Boss continues to make a bess of the tissue. He says, "Oops." Dilbert stops and says, "I have some note paper." The Boss continues, making a mess, saying, "No, this is fine. Oops." Dilbert says, "All you have is a blotch on a scrap." The Boss replies, "It's more of a reminder than a detailed note." The Boss sits at his desk with several little scraps of paper spread out before him. He thinks, "Hmmm...It's not so useful when I put it with the others."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #take this one, #hige mistake, #security reliability, #xq-7

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert is talking to a vendor. Pointing to a sheet of paper, Dilbert says, "I'll take this one." The vendor says, "No, no, no. Huge mistake." The vendor says to Dilbert, "You need the security and reliability of the XQ-7." Dilbert says, "Okay, I'll take the XQ-7." The vendor says, "Shoot! I wish my company made that one."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #bait and switch, #first and third wives, #invited for drinks, #men vs women, #pretext, #tricked, #undertsand

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice approaches the Boss' desk and says, "A vendor invited me for drinks. It's the only time he has to talk about his product." The Boss says, "He's using the old bait-lube-and-switch trick. That's how I met my first and third wives." Alice replies, "I don't understand." The Boss says, "That's why it works."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #new version, #step backward, #quality, #reliability, #irrational need, #latest version software, #home and office

View Transcript

Transcript

A vendor says to Dilbert, "Our new version is a step backward in quality and reliability." The vendor continues, "We're counting on your irrational need to have the latest version of every software product." Dilbert responds, "I hate your weasel guts... but I'll take one for home and one for the office."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #look untamed, #bicycle pants, #mow lawn, #freak emplyee, #child like, #chanllenge, #animal like

View Transcript

Transcript

"The feral employee" "Hi, little fella. What's your name?" "Will" "You look totally untamed. I like a challenge." "Give me one month and I'll have you wearing bicycle pants while you mow my lawn." "Hissss"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #change contract, #signed months ago, #hurt to ask, #discount, #clueless, #primary vendors, #acts of god, #poltergeists, #steal best

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss hands Alice a piece of paper. The boss says, "Alice make a few changes to this contract." Alice says, "Changes? This contract was signed months ago." The boss says, "It doesn't hurt to ask." Alice says, "You want me to ask for a sixty percent discount?" The boss says, "No one said it would be easy." Alice says, "You're asking me to be a clueless jerk in front of our primary vendor." Alice says, "Please don't ask me to do this." The boss says, "And ask if they'll change the part about "acts of God" to include poltergeists." The boss walks away and thinks, "That's why our vendors never try to steal our best employees."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #batch of tiger meat, #project, #chanllenging, #delight stockholders, #not challenging, #less motivated

View Transcript

Transcript

"I"m ready for a new batch of tiger meat. Grrr!" "I want a project that will challenge my abilities, bring glory to the company and delight our shareholders!" "How about this one?" "Nope. Not challenging enough. I'll give it to one of the less motivated employees."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

I'd better put some lipstick on this pig. "Behold the most exciting technical challenge since the dawn of the microprocessor!" "I must rub it on my body before I assign it to you...Oooh oooh!" "I'll need tongs."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

Patty the Amplifier and Distorter "We got a proposal from a new vendor today." "DILBERT LOVES THE NEW VENDOR HE THINKS THAT ANYONE WHO DISAGREES IS AN IDIOT!" "That's not what..." "HE'S HAVING AN AFFAIR WITH THE SALES REP!"