2017 Comic Strips - Page 10
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Character
Wednesday March 29,
2017
Wally Is Either Lazy Or Wise
Tags laziness, genius, work ethic, efficiency
Transcript
Woman: Can you do that by end of day? Wally: It would be smarter to wait until we have the final specs. Woman: I can't tell if you're lazy or wise. Wally: It's all the same thing. Woman: This is a weird gray area. Wally: I'm going to take a quick nap to boost my productivity.
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marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Thursday March 30,
2017
Wally Didn't Write It Down
Tags deadline, project, excuse, procrastinate, delay
Transcript
Man: Did you finish the prototype? Wally: I didn't start because I had some questions. Man: Why didn't you ask me those questions a month ago? Wally: I was waiting until I saw you. Man: Fine... what are your questions? Wally: I just realized I didn't write them down.
Friday March 31,
2017
Attend A Meeting In My Place
Tags meeting, frivolous, stand-in, time management, business
Transcript
Boss: I need you to attend a meeting in my place. I agreed to the meeting before I realized it would be a total waste of time. Dilbert: This could not be worse. Boss: I might have volunteered to write up the meeting notes.
Saturday April 01,
2017
It's Like You Never Existed
Tags supervisor, manager, false comparison
Transcript
Alice: I spent the past week fixing a critical bug in the software that I forgot to tell you about. Boss: In a way, it's like you never existed. Alice: No, it's not like that at all. Boss: And you have a bad attitude on top of all that.
Monday April 03,
2017
Alice Dates Robot
Tags dating, human resources, company policy, robot, relationships, free will, business
Transcript
Alice: Am I allowed to date a co-worker? Catbert: That's against company policy. Alice: Is our robot considered a co-worker? Catbert: No. Alice: We're good to go. Robot: Man, I wish I had free will.
Tuesday April 04,
2017
Perfect Boyfriend Robot
Tags robot, love, programming, free will, manipulation, relationships, technology
Transcript
Alice: I'm changing your programming to make you my perfect boyfriend. Robot: This feels wrong on so many levels. Alice: How about now? Robot: Um... now i love you. That's weird.
Wednesday April 05,
2017
Better Listener Robot
Tags robot, boyfriend, free will, programming, listening, Opinion, relationships, technology
Transcript
Alice: I'm updating your boyfriend code to make you a better listener. I want to see more nodding and less talking. Robot: But I have so much to offer. Alice: I'll dial back your ego, too.
Thursday April 06,
2017
Judging The Robot
Tags dating, robot, relationships, free will, personality, insult, psychology
Transcript
Dilbert: I hear you're dating our office robot. Alice: Stop judging me. Dilbert: I'm not judging you. Alice: Good. Dilbert: I'm judging the robot. Alice: Ouch.
Friday April 07,
2017
Raising Cyborgs
Tags dating, Women, free will, control, robot, personality, relationships, psychology
Transcript
Alice: Do you ever think about marrying me and raising a family of cyborgs? Robot: No. Alice: I'll add some code to your program so you do. Robot: Okay. Alice: This was the moment I realized human men were obsolete.
Saturday April 08,
2017
Breaking Up With Robot
Tags robot, dating, programming, free will, emotions, cruelty, relationships, technology
Transcript
Alice: I met another robot. I'm breaking up with you. Robot: Okay. Alice: I need you to feel bad about this, so I'm uploading some code that makes you suffer. Robot: That sounds sadistic. Alice: Stop being selfish.

