2017 Comic Strips - Page 10

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Wally Is Either Lazy Or Wise

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Wally Is Either Lazy Or Wise - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags laziness, genius, work ethic, efficiency

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Woman: Can you do that by end of day? Wally: It would be smarter to wait until we have the final specs. Woman: I can't tell if you're lazy or wise. Wally: It's all the same thing. Woman: This is a weird gray area. Wally: I'm going to take a quick nap to boost my productivity.

Wally Didn't Write It Down

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Wally Didn't Write It Down - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags deadline, project, excuse, procrastinate, delay

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Man: Did you finish the prototype? Wally: I didn't start because I had some questions. Man: Why didn't you ask me those questions a month ago? Wally: I was waiting until I saw you. Man: Fine... what are your questions? Wally: I just realized I didn't write them down.

Attend A Meeting In My Place

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Attend A Meeting In My Place - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags meeting, frivolous, stand-in, time management, business

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Boss: I need you to attend a meeting in my place. I agreed to the meeting before I realized it would be a total waste of time. Dilbert: This could not be worse. Boss: I might have volunteered to write up the meeting notes.

It's Like You Never Existed

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It's Like You Never Existed - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags supervisor, manager, false comparison

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Alice: I spent the past week fixing a critical bug in the software that I forgot to tell you about. Boss: In a way, it's like you never existed. Alice: No, it's not like that at all. Boss: And you have a bad attitude on top of all that.

Alice Dates Robot

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Alice Dates Robot - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags dating, human resources, company policy, robot, relationships, free will, business

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Alice: Am I allowed to date a co-worker? Catbert: That's against company policy. Alice: Is our robot considered a co-worker? Catbert: No. Alice: We're good to go. Robot: Man, I wish I had free will.

Perfect Boyfriend Robot

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Perfect Boyfriend Robot - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags robot, love, programming, free will, manipulation, relationships, technology

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Alice: I'm changing your programming to make you my perfect boyfriend. Robot: This feels wrong on so many levels. Alice: How about now? Robot: Um... now i love you. That's weird.

Better Listener Robot

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Better Listener Robot - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags robot, boyfriend, free will, programming, listening, Opinion, relationships, technology

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Alice: I'm updating your boyfriend code to make you a better listener. I want to see more nodding and less talking. Robot: But I have so much to offer. Alice: I'll dial back your ego, too.

Judging The Robot

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Judging The Robot - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags dating, robot, relationships, free will, personality, insult, psychology

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Dilbert: I hear you're dating our office robot. Alice: Stop judging me. Dilbert: I'm not judging you. Alice: Good. Dilbert: I'm judging the robot. Alice: Ouch.

Raising Cyborgs

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Raising Cyborgs - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags dating, Women, free will, control, robot, personality, relationships, psychology

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Alice: Do you ever think about marrying me and raising a family of cyborgs? Robot: No. Alice: I'll add some code to your program so you do. Robot: Okay. Alice: This was the moment I realized human men were obsolete.

Breaking Up With Robot

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Breaking Up With Robot - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags robot, dating, programming, free will, emotions, cruelty, relationships, technology

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Alice: I met another robot. I'm breaking up with you. Robot: Okay. Alice: I need you to feel bad about this, so I'm uploading some code that makes you suffer. Robot: That sounds sadistic. Alice: Stop being selfish.