2021 Comic Strips - Page 10

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

Dilbert Interrupts Women

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dilbert Interrupts Women - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, discrimination, office workers, interrupt, woman, sense, nincompoop, babble, pattern

View Transcript

Transcript

tina: dilbert is always interrupting me because i'm a woman. how do you deal with it when he interrupts you? alice: he doesn't interrupt me. tina: that makes no sense. he interrupts me because i'm a woman, and you're a woman...so... alice: maybe he doesn't interrupt me because i make sense when i talk. whereas you're more of a babbling nincompoop and a notorious ruiner of meetings. tina: well, i certainly don't know where you... alice: let's head back now. tina: you interrupted me! alice: try to spot the pattern.

Ceo Is Accused

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Ceo Is Accused  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, complaint, managers & supervisors, subordinate, accuse, inappropriate, crime, hug, defense, legal

View Transcript

Transcript

catbert: seventy-three subordinates are accusing you of inappropriate behavior. ceo: i don't see what's so "inappropriate" about threatening to ruin a subordinate's career unless i get a hug. catbert: you know that's a crime, right? ceo: maybe i shouldn't handle my own defense.

Dogbert Crisis Consultant

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dogbert Crisis Consultant - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, managers & supervisors, subordinates, allegations, crisis, consultant, statement, lying, dumb, believe, public, legal, defense

View Transcript

Transcript

dogbert: my job as a crisis consultant is to help you respond to the allegations from seventy-three of your past and present subordinates. i'll issue a statement from you saying everyone of them is lying. ceo: who would be dumb enough to believe that? dogbert: i call them "the public."

Dogbert Is Selective

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dogbert Is Selective - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, consultant, crisis, selective, client, jail, Advice, folksy, wisdom

View Transcript

Transcript

title: dogbert the crisis consultant. dilbert and dogbert on a walk. dogbert: i'm very selective about my clients. that's because clients who take my advice usually end up in jail. so i only take clients i hate. dilbert: i like your folksy wisdom.

Ruined The Stock Price

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Ruined The Stock Price  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, technology, stock, subordinate, inappropriate, behavior, bonus, money, paper towel, ceo, work

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: our stock is down because seventy-three subordinates accused our ceo of inappropriate behavior at work. so i can't give you a bonus even though your work was excellent. co-worker's head explodes: Boom!!! Carol: how'd he take it? Boss: grab some paper towels.

Dogbert Makes A Deal

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dogbert Makes A Deal - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, business ethics, managers & supervisors, subordinates, behavior, accusation, press, douse, gasoline, fire, deal, fairness, negotiators

View Transcript

Transcript

dogbert: i made a deal with all of the subordinates who accused you of inappropriate behavior. they will stop talking to the press if you agree to let them douse you with gasoline and set you on fire. ceo: that's the best deal you could get me? dogbert: in all fairness, they are great negotiators, and i don't like you.

Only One Thing Ceo Can Do

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Only One Thing Ceo Can Do - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business ethics, business, press, subordinates, inapproriate, behavior, quit, murder, correct

View Transcript

Transcript

ceo: the press is all over me because seventy-three subordinates accused me of inappropriate behavior. there's only one thing i can do. boss: quit. ceo thinking: now i know who to murder to divert the press. boss: am i right?

Cameras Can See You

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Cameras Can See You  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, business ethics, technology, hackers, camera, digital device, skills, detection, performance, review, minutes, laptop, coffee

View Transcript

Transcript

boss and wally on video call. wally: did you know hackers can see you and hear you through the cameras on your digital devices? in fact, someone with my skills could do it in minutes and never be detected. boss: what are you trying to tell me? wally: it's just something to keep in mind when you do my performance review.

Dlbert Prefers The Pandemic

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dlbert Prefers The Pandemic  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags health & safety, pandemic, end, meet, new, people, focus, friends, prefer

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert and dogbert on a walk. dilbert: i don't want the pandemic to end because i kind of prefer not meeting new people. dogbert: don't focus on the end of the pandemic. maybe it's really about the friends you didn't make along the way.

Title Promotion

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Title Promotion - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, technology, recognition, outstanding, work, pandemic, title, Promotion, stupid, raise, ungrateful, engineer

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: dilbert, in recognition of your outstanding work during the pandemic, i'm giving you a promotion. dilbert: i don't want a stupid title. i want a raise. what's my new title? boss's voice through phone: "ungrateful engineer."