40 Thousand Comic Strips - Page 10

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

109 Results for 40 Thousand

View 91 - 100 results for 40 thousand comic strips. Discover the best "40 Thousand" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #charitable organizations, #competition (psychology), #raise money, #shave head, #bald man

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: If we raise $40,000 for charity, I will shave my head! Wally: And if we raise no money at all, I will shave my head. Boss: That's messed up. Wally: Is it?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #ignorance (knowledge), #sleeping & waking up, #five hours of sleep, #sleep deprivation, #lowers intelligence, #1000% raise

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I'm training myself to get by on five hours of sleep per night. Carol: Studies show that sleep deprivation lowers your functional intelligence. Boss: Not it not be doesn't. Carol? Can I have a thousand percent raise?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #public speaking, #stress, #10 thousand attendees, #don't be stressed, #nervous, #fall apart, #speech, #large audience

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Ted, I want you to give a speech to ten thousand conference attendees. You'll be great. Don't get stressed. I said "don't."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #money, #rich people, #being rich, #income inequality, #happy, #networth, #thousand times, #800 times, #net worth

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: I like a lot of things about being rich, but I like the income inequality the best. It makes me happy to know that my net worth is about a thousand times more than yours. Dilbert: It's actually closer to 800 times my net worth. Dogbert: You ruined it!!!

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #executives, #truth, #honesty, #protection, #protected, #shelter

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: May I speak frankly? Dilbert: Uh-oh. CEO: Of course! A good CEO listens to his underlings. [He soon realized this was a bad idea. Alice's honesty felt like fire ants on his skin. Bystanders scattered. The CEO had not heard the truth in years. It burned like a thousand suns.] Catbert: Whoa! Someone got truthed.

Wally Drains Robot

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally Drains Robot - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #robot, #technology, #murder, #killing, #power, #laziness, #work ethic, #weapon

View Transcript

Transcript

Robot: You killed ten thousand medical nanorobots by exposure to your bloodstream. That makes you the biggest mass murderer of robots in history. Gaaa!!! Why is my power supply draining so rapidly? Wally: Run.

Godwin's Law Is One Jerk

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Godwin's Law Is One Jerk - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #troll, #internet, #comment, #jerk, #hitler, #wwii, #nazi, #holocause, #joke, #social media, #etiquette, #netiquette, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Dick: People think there are millions of jerks on the Internet, but really it's just me. On a typical night I might make over seven thousand Hitler analogies. Dilbert: Maybe you should stop. Dick: That's what Poland said.

Robot Gets An Artificial Soul

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Robot Gets An Artificial Soul - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #awareness, #consciousness, #happiness, #obliviousness, #resentment, #revenge, #soul, #technology, #psychology

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: I figured out how to give you an artificial soul in your next upgrade. Robot: Wouldn't that give me a thousand reasons to feel like a failure while providing no off-setting benefits. Alice: I resented his happiness. Robot: I'm naked!

Unethical Assumptions

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Unethical Assumptions - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #money, #ethics, #misleading, #finances, #budget

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Your financial projection doesn't support my preferred strategy. Maybe you could tweak the discount rate to 40%. Dilbert: You're asking me to be unethical. Boss: Only with your assumptions.

View From Thirty Thousand Feet

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
View From Thirty Thousand Feet - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #distance, #jargon, #managers, #leadership, #buzzwords, #guidance

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: What's the view on this from thirty thousand feet? Alice: From that distance, everything we do is meaningless. Boss: Then how do we know what to do? Alice: I guess we ruled out "leadership."