Book Deal Comic Strips - Page 10
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215 Results for Book Deal
View 91 - 100 results for book deal comic strips. Discover the best "Book Deal" comics from Dilbert.com.
Sunday August 08,
1999
Tags tough negotiator, deal, sign contract, totally different, conditions, complained, borrow, briefcase, no one complained
Transcript
A salesman sits with his briefcase across from Dilbert. The salesman says, " a tough negotiator, but I think we have a deal." The salesman hands Dilbert a piece off paper and says, "Just sign the contract and we'll deliver the equipment." Dilbert reads and says, "This contract is totally different from what we agreed." The salesman thinks, "Must act suprised." and says, "Really?" dilbert says, "Why are you spring all these conditions on me at the last minute?" The sales man says, "No onwe has ever complained before." Dilbert says, "Can I borrow your briefcase for a minute?" and takes the briefcase. The salesman says, "Um... okay." dilbert drops the briefcase off a balcony. The salesman says, "That wasn't nice." Dilbert says, "No one has complained before."
Monday August 09,
1999
Tags requirements, documents, guess weight, multi user, global system
Transcript
Wally holds a huge book. A woman smiles at him. Wally says, "Your requirements document is the biggest I've never seen." Wally shakes the book and says, "It's too big to read, butI can guess from its weight what miust be in there." The woman says, "You know it's multi-user. global system, right?" Wally says, "No, I'm not getting that."
Tuesday August 10,
1999
Tags gigantic product document, destroyed, freak accident, thomas edison work
Transcript
Asok, Wally and Dilbert stare at a large book. Dilbert says, "One of us will have to read this gigantic product requirements document." Wally says, "Unless it gets destroyed in a freak accident." Wally says, "I have some oily rags in mu cube." Asok thinks, "It's like watching Thomas Edison work."
Friday October 29,
1999
Tags dogberts, accelerated course, check book, final exam, todays date
Transcript
Tina talks on the phone at her cubicle, and says, "I'd like to enroll in Dogbert's accelerated management course." Dogbert says, "Take out yout checkbook and begin your final exam now." Tina says, "Question one: What is today's date?"
Saturday December 04,
1999
Tags astrol projection, try at meeting, switch chairs
Transcript
Wally is holding up a book and walking with Dilbert and says: "I found a book about astral projection." Wally walks into a meeting room, followed by Dilbert, and says:"I'm gonna try this during our meeting." Wally is sitting at the meeting between two women grinding his teeth and hitting his fists against the table. One of the women says: "Does anyone want to switch chairs?"
Sunday February 06,
2000
Tags product is defective, expect delivery, quality s primary goal, opposite of philosophy, rich philosophers, swiss bank
Transcript
Dilbert tells the Boss while handing him some documents: "My tests prove our product is defective." While the Boss is examining the documents, Dilbert says: "Customers expect delivery tomorrow." Handing the documents back to Dilbert, the Boss says: "Our corporate philosophy is 'Quality is our primary goal.'" Dilbert asks: "So... you want me to delay shipment until we fix the problems?" The Boss answers: "No." The Boss says: "I want you to ship now so we can book the revenue." Dilbert exclaims: "GAAA! That's the opposite of our corporate philosophy!!!" The Boss replies: "Now you know why there aren't any rich philosophers." Reclining on the couch at home with Dogbert, Dogbert tells Dilbert: "There used to be one, but he believed I was a Swiss bank."
Sunday November 19,
2000
Tags business book, change happens, forward, meds filler, parable, picnic, served as hamburgers, two bulls
Transcript
Dogbert, busily typing, says to Dilbert, "I'm writing a business book called 'Change Happens. Get Over It'." Dilbert says, "The title says it all." Dogbert says, "Yeah. It needs filler." Dilbert says, "How about a parable?" Dogbert says, "Good idea." Dogbert types, "Two bulls were talking." Dogbert continues typing, "One bull says, 'I'm afraid of change'." Dogbert continues typing, "The other bull says, 'Get over it'." Dogbert continues typing, "Later that day they were both ground into hamburgers and served at a picnic." Dogbert says to Dilbert, "The hard part will be finding someone to write the foreword."
Monday December 04,
2000
Tags away from job, blah blah, cell phones, jurors, jury duty, jury room, read book, talking
Transcript
Dilbert: AAHH, One week away from my job. Jury room Dilbert: I'll have hours of quiet time to read my new book, woman: There's a guy here with a book.
Sunday January 21,
2001
Tags professional liar, why kind of lie, lousy movie, cover of lousy book, dot commer, filthy, have limits, mena, liar mad
Transcript
Dogbert sits at a desk in the window of a storefront. The sign outside says "Professional Liar." A man looks in the window. The man is sitting across the desk from Dogbert. Dogbert asks, "What kind of lie do you need?" The man says, "It's... It's embarrassing." Dogbert says, "Are you a producer who needs a good review for a lousy movie?" The man says, "No." Dogbert asks, "Are you an author who needs a slobbering quote for the cover of your lousy book?" The man says, "It's worse than that. Much worse." Dogbert says, "Worse? That could only be... aaack!" Dogbert exclaims, "Find someone else, you filthy dot-com founder! I have my limits!" The man is now sitting at a desk with a man in a suit. The man says, "... And since your firm underwrote our IPO..." The man in a suit says, "Would I get to be on TV?"
Thursday April 05,
2001
Tags whos incredible list, can buy book, leather bound, gullible
Transcript
Looking at a piece of paper, Dilbert says to Dogbert, "Wow! I've been selected for the 'Who's Incredible' list!" Dilbert continues to Dogbert, "For seventy-five dollars I can buy a leather-bound book with my name in it!" Dilbert says, "Ha! And people said I was too gullible to be a success!" Dogbert reads the piece of paper, "Dear Occupant."

