Charge Me Same Comic Strips - Page 10
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Share August 31, 1995's comic on:
Dogbert asks Tina, "Is technical writing the same as word processing?" Tina replies angrily, "No!!!" Tina continues, "I am a highly skilled communications professional! I can take jumbles of inert thoughts and bring them to life!!" The Boss enters and says to Tina, "My secretary is running the staff meeting. I need you to retype this org chart." Dogbert comments, "The doctor is in!"
Share September 01, 1995's comic on:
Dogbert and Tina are sitting at a table. Dogbert says to the reader, "This week, we introduced Tina the Brittle Tech Writer to the strip. Tina is dysfunctional like everybody here except me." Tina growls, "RRRR." Dogbert continues, "Send your opinions by e-mail to firstname.lastname@example.org. It's the only way we can learn." Tina growls, "RRRR." A written list says, "PICK ONE: A. Women should only be portrayed as lawyers and starship captains. B. I don't have e-mail. C. Tina should be treated with the same dignity as Dilbert and Wally. D. Take an art class."
Share September 10, 1995's comic on:
The Boss introduces a man to Dilbert and Wally. The Boss says, "We just hired Jack away from our competitor. He was their best manager." The Boss continues, "Jack will be in charge of project 'Goosefood.'" The Boss continues, "I'd like you two to brief Jack on the project." Jack, Dilbert and Wally sit at a conference table. Dilbert says, "Project 'Goosefood' has no budget and no management support." Wally says, "Your job is to build a global information network in two weeks." Dilbert says, "Failure is certain. Soon you will leave the industry in disgrace." Wally adds, ". . . Just like the other 'best managers' we hired from our competitors." Jack says, "Just our of curiosity, how did the project get its name?" Wally replies, "Let's just say that you're the goose food . . ."
Share September 23, 1995's comic on:
The Boss approaches Wally and Dilbert. The Boss says, "I found software that helps managers write performance evaluations!" Dilbert and Wally both say, "Uh-oh." The Boss continues, "It's made by the same company that makes fortune cookies for Canada!" Wally says, "That makes me feel better." The caption says, "Next Day." The Boss offers Wally and Dilbert small strips of paper. Dilbert says, "I didn't think you knew how to use a PC." The Boss replies, "My secretary wrote these." Wally reads a strip aloud, "Don't by a new car."
Share October 12, 1995's comic on:
The Boss sits at a desk. Dilbert reads a printout and says, "Our original project time line was twelve months . . . But since you pitched in to help . . ." Dilbert continues, "I don't have an exact date, but it's roughly the same time that the sun becomes a cold dark chunk of coal the size of your forehead." The Boss says, "We'll need flashlights." Dilbert says, "And sweaters. It could get nippy."
Share October 26, 1995's comic on:
Wally and Dilbert stand in front of the Boss's desk. Dilbert says, "Wally and I have a bet about why you assigned me to the same task as three other people." Dilbert continues, "I believe it's a clever ploy to create healthy internal competition. Wally thinks you're just dumber than the average cauliflower." The Boss says, "May I point out that cauliflower is the brain of the fruit kingdom." Wally looks at Dilbert and says, "Yes!"
Share October 27, 1995's comic on:
A co-worker says to Dilbert, "Three other people asked for that same information. You must be on redundant projects." The man hands Dilbert a binder and says, "Here's a big binder which at first glance seems useful, but you'll realize later it's not." The man says, "I've got a few more useless binders. Do you want 'em?" Dilbert says, "Sure. I'm using them to build an addition to my cubicle."
Share January 15, 1996's comic on:
Dilbert stands on a book on a chair and works at a computer. He tells Dilbert, "I call my new operating system the 'Dogbert 2000.'" Dogbert continues, "Soon I will dominate the entire PC industry! Heh-heh . . ." Dilbert looks at the monitor and says, "It looks like 'Windows 95.'" Dogbert replies, "I use some of the same graphic metaphors, but I pronounce them differently." Dilbert asks, "How do you pronounce the 'Microsoft' logo?"
Share January 25, 1996's comic on:
The Boss, Dogbert, Wally and Alice sit at a conference table. The Boss points at Dogbert who is growling and says, "I've asked Dogbert to get rid of our most troublesome customers." Dogbert says, "Ten percent of your customers account for ninety percent of your service costs. They must be eliminated." Alice asks, "Is that the same group of customers who actually USE our product?" Dogbert replies, "Plus the ones who were injured unpacking it."
Share February 14, 1996's comic on:
The Boss walks down the hall with a new employee. The Boss says, "As a co-op employee, you can't expect the same lush cubicle environment that the regular employees enjoy." The Boss brings the man to a cubicle filled with people lying on top of each other. The Boss says, "You'll be sharing this cubicle with our other co-ops." Dilbert says to Alice, "I heard that the new co-op only lasted one day." Alice quips, "He didn't fit in."