Cloud Start Up Comic Strips - Page 10
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Wally walks into Dilbert's cubicle holding a huge bag of money. Wally has long hair pulled back into a ponytail. Wally says, "Venture capitalists gave me money to start a web-based business." Dilbert says, "Do they know that you're lazy and dishonest?" Wally says, "It didn't come up." Dilbert says, "What'll you create... besides accounting irregularities?" Wally says, "That's all I have the energy for."
Dilbert stands in Wally's cubicle. Wally is at his computer. Dilbert says, "How's your internet start-up company coming?" Wally says, still sporting a pontail,"Good." Wally says, "My plan is to be the dominant internet source for tuna sandwiches." Dilbert says, "So if I buy one, you ship it overnight?" Wally says, "no, you have to come and pick it up."
Wally is being interviewed on tv. The female news anchor says, "Wally, tell our viewers how your internet start-up got so hot." Wally says, "Beats me. I was wondering how YOU got so hot. I'm burning up over here!" The interviewer says, "It says here you were an engineer." Wally says, "Is my ponytail doing anything for you?"
Dilbert gives a presentation using an overhead projector. Dilbert says, "I'd like to start with a cartoon." Dilbert points at the projection and says, "It's about a guy who shows a cartoon before giving a boring presentation." Dilbert says, "But it doesn't work because the cartoon has no punchline."
Wally and Dilbert are in the office kitchen getting coffee. Wally says, "I believe God created the earth because he hates people." Wally says, "And I believe coffee tastes better if you stir it with your finger." Dilbert says, "It sound like a lonely religion." Wally says, "They all start that way."
Dilbert sits at a table with another man (Ted). Dilbert looks at a piece of paper and says, "You're suggesting a process that will fail even if we do evrything right." The man says, "When can you start?" Dilbert says, "Listen carefully. No amount of skill or effort can make this plan work." The guy says, "No pain, no gain." Dilbert says, "you're not working with many tools here, are you?" The man says, "We need some sort of conferance call."
The boss, Asok, Dilbert and wally sit at a conference table. The boss says, "Introducing the new bonus plan." ASok raises his hand and says, "Yes!!! I'm already working at peak performance, so that bonus is as good as mine!" Phil appears behind asok and says, "Asok, Mr. Reality wanted to visit you, but his car won't start. I'm Phil."
Dilbert peeks into a women's cube. Dilbert says, "Can I ask you a question?" She says, "I doubt it." She says, "Oh, sure it'll start as an innocent work-realted question." She says, "Then you'll try to impress me with your knowledge of engineering..." She says, "... in the pathetic hope that I value intelligence over physical appearance." She stands up and says, "Well, I don't!! I only care about looks!" Dilbert says, "Do you drive a red BMW? The lights are on." Dilbert sits in a robe on the couch. Dogbert says, "And you still tried to ask her out?" Dilbert says, "She's hard to read."
The male office rebel with the spiked hair extends shakes Dilbert's hand and says, "You must be the new office rebel we heard about. Nice bathrobe." The other pierced male rebel says, "We're called rebels because we're easily manipulated into doing stupid things." Spiked hair rebel raises the roof and says, "Give it up fpr us! Whoo whoo!" Dilbert says, "I dare you to use branding irons on each other right now." Spiked haired says, "Start the fire!"
Dilbert is at the checkout counter of clothes store. The cashier has her hand over her name tag. Dilbert thinks, "She's hiding her name tag so I won't get friendly with her." dilbert reaches into a sack and thinks, "I'll toss these fake babies in the air. When she catches them, I'll see her name and start flirting." The cashier catches one baby, the other lands on her head as her hand remains on her name tag. Dilbert thinks, "Dang! I knew I should have brought a third fake baby."