Copies Everything Comic Strips - Page 10

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304 Results for Copies Everything

View 91 - 100 results for copies everything comic strips. Discover the best "Copies Everything" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 17, 2000's comic on:


Tags #business manager, #for celebrities, #have locks, #life story, #sign here, #film on thursday, #someone steal your fortune, #the biography channel

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Dogbert approaches Dilbert and says, "I decided to become a business manager for celebrities." Dilbert asks Dogbert, "Why?" Dogbert replies, "Because banks have locks." A celebrity enters Dogbert's office. Dogbert says to the celebrity, "Everything you own has been put in my name...for...um...tax purposes." The celebrity replies, "You're such a good friend. How can I ever repay you?" Dogbert responds, "You can sign this. It gives me the rights to your life story." The celebrity signs the document. Dogbert says to him, "In the unlikely event that someone steals your fortune and you become a pathetic drug addict..." Dogbert continues, "...I can sell your story to the 'biography' channel." Dogbert says to the celebrity, "They start filming on Thursday."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 18, 2000's comic on:


Tags #blank copies, #copied wrong sides, #intern, #new temp, #talk to hand, #tells off

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Asok: These copies you made for me are blank. New Temp: Thats because all the originals were blank. Asok: Maybe you could have checked the other sides, New temp: Talk to the hand.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 17, 2000's comic on:


Tags #attending meetings, #busy, #funding, #get funding, #need a budget, #past year, #top priority, #one task

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Dilbert says to The Boss, "Everything is ready. We just need the budget." Dilbert says to The Boss, "You did get the funding... Didn't you?" The Boss says, "I've been very busy." Dilbert says to The Boss, "This project has been your top priority for over a year!!!" Dilbert says to The Boss, "You only had one task: get funding." Dilbert asks The Boss, "What have you been doing for the past year?! The Boss says, "I remember attending meetings..." Dilbert, holding his head in his hands, cries, "Aay iii yiii yiii!!" The Boss says, "If you need anything, just holler."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 20, 2001's comic on:


Tags #exactly man, #said in meeting, #wong, #proof, #humanoid response

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THE "EXACTLY" MAN: Alice says to Randy, "Everything you said in the meeting was wrong. Here's the proof." Randy whirls on Alice and exclaims, "Exactly!!" Randy sits with folded arms as Alice says, "Okay, I'm not even sure that was a humanoid response."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 11, 2001's comic on:


Tags #nephew, #job interview, #bowling, #heavy balls, #work, #experince, #taught, #snack bar, #whacked, #new boss

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The Boss hands a piece of paper to Dilbert and says, "My nephew wants a job. Interview him and tell me what you think." The Boss' nephew sits across from Dilbert as Dilbert looks at his resume. Dilbert says, "Let's see... Your work experience is... Bowling." Dilbert asks, "Are you a professional bowler?" The Boss' nephew replies, "I only bowled once." The Boss' nephew continues, "But the balls were heavy. It seemed like work to me." The Boss' nephew continues, "That experience taught me everything I know." The Boss' nephew continues, "Unfortunately, I don't remember most of it." The Boss' nephew continues, "But I remember you're not supposed to bowl in the snack bar." Dilbert says to The Boss, "I recommend having him whacked." The Boss replies, "He's your new boss."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 16, 2001's comic on:


Tags #nature lover, #catch and release, #torture fish, #sounds bad

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The Boss and Web Mistress Ming are getting coffee. The Boss says, "I'm a nature lover. When I fish, I only do catch-and-release." Web Mistress Ming says to The Boss, "In other words, you torture fish for fun." The Boss sits at his desk alone and thinks, "I wonder why everything I do sounds bad when it's put in other words."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 03, 2001's comic on:


Tags #snails, #offcie, #slime trail, #hand lotion, #second sign, #addicted, #office

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Dilbert approaches Tina the Tech Writer. A piece of paper sticks to his hand. He says, "I think we have snails in the office." Dilbert holds the sheet of paper up and it appears to have something on it. Dilbert says, "There's a slime trail on everything." Dilbert exits and Tina stands on her desk chair to reach a giant pump labelled "Hand Lotion." Tina thinks, "That might be the second sign that I'm addicted to hand lotion."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 30, 2001's comic on:


Tags #ultimate tool, #mobile professional, #pda, #phone, #pager, #digital camera, #fax, #email, #laptop, #shredder, #clips belt, #too large, #everything

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The Boss leans across a table and says to Dilbert, "I found the ultimate tool for the mobile professional." The Boss leans down in order to get it. He continues, "It's a combination PDA, phone, pager, digital camera, fax, e-mail, laptop and shredder." The Boss produces a large gadget, half the size of him and puts it on the table. He says, "It clips right to my belt!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 10, 2001's comic on:


Tags #defective co workers, #hall of fame, #won't work, #components, #too close, #overheat, #explain back, #moron, #sunflower seed, #mimics, #bird mimics

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Dilbert sits across from Parrot Man and says, "Your idea won't work. The components are too close. They will overheat." Parrot Man leans back and says, "Let me explain something to you, Dilbert." Parrot Man points to a piece of paper and continues, "These components will overheat. They are much too close." Dilbert is angry as Parrot Man goes on, explaining, "The reasons involve heat and something I call 'proximity'" Dilbert puts his hands to his head and screams, "GAAA!!!" Parrot Man says, "I don't have time to explain all the details." Dilbert throws his hands up and yells, "You take everything I say and repeat it back to me like I'm a moron!!" Parrot Man suddenly stands up with his arms outstretched in a trance-like state and says, "Excuse me, but I hear a clicking sound and feel compelled to eat a sunflower seed."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 02, 2001's comic on:


Tags #team work, #natures way, #identify weak, #perpetuating genes, #negative spin, #boss puts spin

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The Boss is sitting at his desk. Wally addresses him, "Teamwork is nature's way of identifying the weak." Wally continues, "The strong, such as myself, put all of our energy into perpetuating our genes." Wally concludes, "Now this is when you usually try to put a negative spin on everything."