Dot Com President Comic Strips - Page 10

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

110 Results for Dot Com President

View 91 - 100 results for dot com president comic strips. Discover the best "Dot Com President" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #statue of liberty, #destroy, #pr, #responsibility, #clean up, #new york harbor, #light show, #weapon demo, #consultant, #cuba, #air force, #sink, #yell, #angry, #private jet, #head, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert the public relations consultant Dogbert says, "So you accidentally destroyed the Statue of Liberty?" Dogbert says, "Her head is floating toward Cuba, and the president will probably order the air force to sink it." CEO says, "I should watch that from my private jet." Dogbert says, "FOCUS!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #laziness, #meetings, #optimism, #vice presdient, #unoccupied room, #cell phone, #finish soon, #nap in cubilce, #get work done, #run errands, #optimism like disappointement, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "Our meeting room is being used by a vice president." The Boss says, "I need all of you to search for an unoccupied room. Call my cell when you find one." The Boss says, "I'll stay here in case they finish soon." Dilbert says, "Where are you going to look?" Wally says, "I'm going to take a nap in my cubicle and hope the problem takes care of itself." Dilbert says, "Good idea. I'll go get some work done." Alice says, "Perfect time to run some errands." The Boss says, "Optimism is a lot like disappointment."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #charity, #bottle caps, #fund, #chemo, #pro children, #snopes.com, #internet hoax, #award mug

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: Thanks to your leadership, we collected twenty thousand bottle caps to help fund chemo for poor children. And thanks to your... whatever... we checked snopes.com and learned that the bottle cap thing was an internet hoax. I only brought one teamwork award mug, so you'll have to take turns drinking from it.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #carbon dioxide, #exhales endangered species, #fabrications, #harbard, #higgs boson particle, #licorice and flashlight, #national football league, #no bragging rights, #no kids, #training for olympics

View Transcript

Transcript

Coworker: My daughter is training for the Olympics. My son is going to Harvard. Dilbert: I have no spawn of my own, so I claim the right to name a proxy to brag on my behalf. Topper, I need you. Topper: OF course you do. My daughter discovered the Higgs boson particle using nothing but licorice and a flashlight. My son inhales carbon dioxide and exhales endangered species while playing in the National Football League. Coworker: This isn't fair! You can't just make up stuff! Topper: According to the president of the International Society of Boasters, fabrications are acceptable. Coworker: I'd like to talk to that guy. Topper: You're looking at him. Dilbert: I win.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #conversation, #language, #leader, #steve jobs, #rinse with vinegar, #remove mold, #dot touch

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I see myself as a leader in the mold of Steve Jobs. Alice: Try rinsing your entire body with vinegar. That might remove his mold. Boss: Are we talking about the same thing? Alice: Please don't touch anything I own.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #banquets, #senior vice president, #technology awards banquet

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I have you seated next to our senior vice president at the technology awards banquet. Dilbert: Because you hate me? Boss: No, it's because I hate him. Dilbert: This is making me very unhappy. Boss: Don't peak too soon. Wait for the banquet.

Ceo Mentors Wally To No Avail

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Ceo Mentors Wally To No Avail - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Promotion, #saving face, #executives, #bad advice, #bad ideas, #mentor, #mentoring

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: I've been mentoring Wally for over a week and he's still useless. But we need to promote him to Vice President so it looks as if my mentoring works. Catbert: That might be a bad idea in the long run. CEO: What is this "long run" people keep harping about?

Have To Promote Wally

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Have To Promote Wally - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #bad decision, #mentor, #mentoring, #promotions, #protege, #promote, #vice presdient, #good news

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert: I have to promote you to vice president because our CEO has been mentoring you. Otherwise, it would seem as if he is either bad at mentoring or bad at picking people to mentor. Alice: Now what? Wally: Would you like to hear some good news that won't make you happy?

Wall The Company Taint

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wall The Company Taint - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Promotion, #manager, #taint, #success

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: You're looking at the new vice president of zombie projects. The projects that will neither succeed nor be canceled are transferred to me so the other VP's avoid their taint. Alice: I guess that makes you the company's taint. Wally: I wear that label proudly.

Asok Applies To Be Wally's Lackey

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Asok Applies To Be Wally's Lackey - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #assistant, #caffeine, #coffee, #croney, #lackey, #Promotion, #vice president, #upper body strength

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: Now that you are a vice president, may I apply to be your lackey? Wally: If I'm being honest, Asok, I need someone with more upper body strength to carry my coffee all day. Asok: Then I said, "A Vice President's coffee can't be that heavy."