Hate Automatically Comic Strips - Page 10

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

246 Results for Hate Automatically

View 91 - 100 results for hate automatically comic strips. Discover the best "Hate Automatically" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 06, 1999's comic on:


Tags #budget forecast, #hard job, #hate tiny guts, #tiny guts

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss says to Asok, "Asok, I've chosen you to put our budget forecast together." The boss says, "It's a hard job but you'll get the satisfaction of making everyone hate your tiny guts." Asok walks away and thinks, "My guts are not tiny."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 06, 1999's comic on:


Tags #new guy doing, #embryo in jar, #got fertiziled, #cute one

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert holds a coffe mug and says to Wally, "How's the new guy doing?" Wally looks at Embryo on the desk and says, "Not bad for an embryo in a jar." Wally says, "I hate the fact that he only got fertilized a week ago and he gets paid more than I do." Dilbert says, "In all fairness, he does obstruct progress less than you do." Wally says, "Everyone sides with the cute one."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 11, 1999's comic on:


Tags #twenty percent over budget, #two months late, #bungledm, #allocation resources, #bungled

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss reads a report, and says to Dilbert, "Your project is twenty percent over budget and two months late." Dilbert says, "That's because you bungled the allocation of resources." Dilbert says to Dogbert, "Bosses hate the word 'bungled'."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 10, 2000's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #dilbert not buying it, #excuses, #get information, #hate people, #promise, #resentment, #saves time, #advance

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert is sitting at a table with a co-worker. The co-worker tells Dilbert: "I'll get this information for you." Dilbert replies: "No you won't. You'll wait until I hunt you down and then you'll say you were too busy." On the couch at home with Dogbert, Dilbert says: "Today I started hating people in advance." Dogbert replies: "It saves time."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 14, 2000's comic on:


Tags #irs in jail, #swelled up, #basket case, #women hate summaries, #beach ball, #head swelled

View Transcript

Transcript

A woman recalls over dinner with Dilbert: "...so my head swelled up like a beach ball and the I.R.S. wants to put me in jail." Dilbert responds: "In summary you're a basket case." Afterwards, he tells Dogbert: "Women hate it when you summarize."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 16, 2000's comic on:


Tags #sales call, #long distance, #how long?, #50 miles long, #don't know anyone

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss' phone rings and he thinks to himself, "Again? That thing rang last week, too." A telephone company representative calls the Boss. "Hello. May I interest you in long distance phone service?" The Boss replies, "How long is it?" The telephone representative answers, "Umm...it's very long. Extremely long." The Boss replies in a demanding manner with one arm thrust in the air, "I need to know exactly how long it is!" The Boss continues to say, "If it's too short I'll have to shout the last mile! I hate that." The telephone respresentative replies, "Okay...it's fifty miles long." The Boss responds, "No, thanks. I don't know anyone fifty miles away."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 06, 2000's comic on:


Tags #report to mordac, #obligated to hate, #works

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says to Ming, "Ming, I'm moving your web mistress function to I.S. You'll report to Mordac." Ming screams out, "NO-O-O-O-O" The Boss looks astonished. Ming later says to Mordac, "We can still date but I feel obliged to hate your guts now." Mordac replies, "It works for me."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 04, 2000's comic on:


Tags #adventures of lulu, #no sense of proportion, #assinment, #work, #declares war, #anger, #resentment

View Transcript

Transcript

The adventures of LULU The woman who has no sense of proportion. GAAA! Does this mean you hate me?!! The Boss: Its called and assignment. LULU: This is war.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 28, 2000's comic on:


Tags #upgarding, #sales support, #unlock lexus, #guy down hall, #owns lexus

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says to Ed, "I finished upgrading the sales support network." Ed responds angrily, "Is that why I can't unlock my Lexus?!!" Dilbert replies, "You don't own a Lexus. You only look like a guy down the hall who owns one." Ed answers, "I hate that guy."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 10, 2000's comic on:


Tags #mapped genome, #hr dept, #had resources, #pencil, #technology, #predictions from genes, #genome, #dna, #work perfromance, #traits, #violation of rights

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert approaches Wally and says, "I mapped your genome Wally." Wally replies, "I didn't know the human resources department had that technology." Catbert responds, "I used a pencil." Wally says to Catbert, "Your genes predict that you will be a bitter, lazy, caucasian guy with six hairs and poor vision." Catbert answers, "You'll hate cubicles, measurable objectives, and cats who map your genome." Wally says to Catbert, "This is a violation of my right to privacy! I'll fight it all the way to the Supreme Court." Catbert responds, "No, according to my map, you'll lose interest and fall asleep." Catbert says to Wally as he sleeps, "I wonder if this technology will ever fall into the wrong hands."