Layoff Planning Comic Strips - Page 10

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114 Results for Layoff Planning

View 91 - 100 results for layoff planning comic strips. Discover the best "Layoff Planning" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 24, 2013's comic on:


Tags #executives, #prices, #executive coaching, #meetings

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Dogbert The Executive Coach Dogbert: The ROI for executive coaching is 9,000%. CEO: Wow! That's a lot! But I need a coach who won't ask em to do anything differently. Dogbert: I wasn't planning to show up for our meetings. CEO: Perfect. How much do I owe you for today?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 23, 2013's comic on:


Tags #engineers, #vacations, #work ethic, #unlimited vacation policy, #200 days off, #double productivity, #no way to measure

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Wally: I'm planning to take advantage of our new unlimited vacation policy. I'll be gone for two hundred days in the coming year. And I guarantee I will still double my productivity compared to the prior year. Boss: There's no way to measure productivity for engineers. Wally: Good to know.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 05, 2013's comic on:


Tags #internet & world wide web, #managers & supervisors, #work ethic, #facebook, #work, #home, #unpaid work, #business

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Boss: You're not allowed to use Facebook at work. Alice: Fine. I'll use it at home tonight instead of doing the three hours of unpaid work I was planning to do. Boss: I"m calling that a win.

Planning To Lose

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Planning To Lose - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 27, 2014's comic on:


Tags #failure, #insulting, #planning, #business plan, #plan for failure, #losers, #angry, #same page

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Dilbert: If our business plan fails, do we have a plan for that? Boss: Only losers plan for failure. Dilbert: I think we're on the same page, but for some reason you're angry about it.

Wally Thinks About Strategic Planning

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Wally Thinks About Strategic Planning - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 17, 2014's comic on:


Tags #deception, #hallucinations, #strategic planners, #future, #pretend, #different happens, #visualize, #game, #work, #planning

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Wally: I'm thinking of getting into the strategic planning game. If I understand the job description, you basically hallucinate about the future and then something different happens. Dilbert: You also have to pretend it's useful. Wally: Really? That sounds hard.

The Illusion Of Leadership

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The Illusion Of Leadership - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 13, 2015's comic on:


Tags #absent mindedness, #Advice, #forget, #forgetfulness, #jargon, #leadership, #managers, #managers & supervisors, #business

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Boss: I forget why I walked over here. Dilbert: Were you planning to spew empty jargon in my direction to create the illusion of leadership? Boss: Oh, right. But now it feels as if the moment has passed.

Low Battery On Brain Stimulator

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Low Battery On Brain Stimulator  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 14, 2015's comic on:


Tags #boredom, #invention, #planning, #party, #picnic, #details, #cups

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Dilbert: I'm wearing a brain stimulator so I don't die of boredom while organizing the company picnic. Carol: Speaking of that, what kind of cups should I order? Do you want red or clear? And what sizes? How many? Is this a bad time? Device: Low battery.

Retirement Plan

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Retirement Plan - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 23, 2016's comic on:


Tags #retirement, #future, #planning, #plan, #death, #aging, #work, #savings, #dying, #medical

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Dilbert: I saw an article that says most people don't have any kind of retirement plan. Wally: I plan to live an unhealthy lifestyle and pass away in my cubicle, preferably on a Monday. Dilbert: That's a terrible plan. Wally: Better than average, according to you.

The Science Of Astrology

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The Science Of Astrology - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 11, 2016's comic on:


Tags #Astrology, #metaphysics, #science, #planning, #sign, #zodiac, #pseudoscience

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Carol: I'll need to know your astrological sign before I put you on his schedule. In the old days, I just gave people the first available slot. It was chaos. Dilbert: So now you use the science of astrology? Carol: It's better than science. It's an art.

Dilbert Recommends Firing Ted

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Dilbert Recommends Firing Ted - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 03, 2016's comic on:


Tags #money, #cost, #fired, #layoff, #suggestion

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Boss: We need to cut our expenses. Dilbert: I recommend eliminating Ted's job. Ted: What??? I recommend eliminating Dilbert's job! Just because he said it first??? Boss: Let's not over-analyze it.