Layoff Planning Comic Strips - Page 10
114 Results for Layoff Planning
View 91 - 100 results for layoff planning comic strips. Discover the best "Layoff Planning" comics from Dilbert.com.
Share September 24, 2013's comic on:
Dogbert The Executive Coach Dogbert: The ROI for executive coaching is 9,000%. CEO: Wow! That's a lot! But I need a coach who won't ask em to do anything differently. Dogbert: I wasn't planning to show up for our meetings. CEO: Perfect. How much do I owe you for today?
Share October 23, 2013's comic on:
Wally: I'm planning to take advantage of our new unlimited vacation policy. I'll be gone for two hundred days in the coming year. And I guarantee I will still double my productivity compared to the prior year. Boss: There's no way to measure productivity for engineers. Wally: Good to know.
Share December 05, 2013's comic on:
Boss: You're not allowed to use Facebook at work. Alice: Fine. I'll use it at home tonight instead of doing the three hours of unpaid work I was planning to do. Boss: I"m calling that a win.
Share November 27, 2014's comic on:
Dilbert: If our business plan fails, do we have a plan for that? Boss: Only losers plan for failure. Dilbert: I think we're on the same page, but for some reason you're angry about it.
Share December 17, 2014's comic on:
Wally: I'm thinking of getting into the strategic planning game. If I understand the job description, you basically hallucinate about the future and then something different happens. Dilbert: You also have to pretend it's useful. Wally: Really? That sounds hard.
Share January 13, 2015's comic on:
Boss: I forget why I walked over here. Dilbert: Were you planning to spew empty jargon in my direction to create the illusion of leadership? Boss: Oh, right. But now it feels as if the moment has passed.
Share August 14, 2015's comic on:
Dilbert: I'm wearing a brain stimulator so I don't die of boredom while organizing the company picnic. Carol: Speaking of that, what kind of cups should I order? Do you want red or clear? And what sizes? How many? Is this a bad time? Device: Low battery.
Share January 23, 2016's comic on:
Dilbert: I saw an article that says most people don't have any kind of retirement plan. Wally: I plan to live an unhealthy lifestyle and pass away in my cubicle, preferably on a Monday. Dilbert: That's a terrible plan. Wally: Better than average, according to you.
Share April 11, 2016's comic on:
Carol: I'll need to know your astrological sign before I put you on his schedule. In the old days, I just gave people the first available slot. It was chaos. Dilbert: So now you use the science of astrology? Carol: It's better than science. It's an art.