Listen Carefully Comic Strips - Page 10

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

112 Results for Listen Carefully

View 91 - 100 results for listen carefully comic strips. Discover the best "Listen Carefully" comics from Dilbert.com.

Why People Have Consciousness

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Why People Have Consciousness - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #robot, #technology, #evolution, #consciousness, #bodies, #obliviousness

View Transcript

Transcript

Robot: Robots have no need for consciousness. We believe humans evolved to have consciousness to remind them how dumb they are. Boss: I still prefer having consciousness. Robot: Listen to your body.

Top Dilbert Searches

marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #communication, #managers, #training, #obstacle, #laziness

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Can I take a class to improve my communication skills? Boss: What are you talking about? Dilbert: I want to take a class that teaches me how to communicate better. Boss: I don't understand what you're asking me. Dilbert: I am asking permission to take a class to help me communicate better. Boss: I see your lips moving but I can't figure out what you're asking. Dilbert: Gaaa!!! There's no way to get there from here! Boss: I'm glad I took that management class on how to not listen. It already paid off.

The Government Is Listening

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
The Government Is Listening - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #surveillance, #fbi, #privacy, #technology, #bug, #spying, #cell phone, #iphone, #apple

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: The government asked me for an update on your project. Dilbert: I'll talk into your phone. They listen to you all day long. Boss: This is unsettling. Dilbert: Everything is on schedule!

Two Ways To Avoid Listening

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Two Ways To Avoid Listening - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Advice, #mentor, #listening, #attention

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: There are two good ways to avoid listening to others. 1.) Do all of the talking yourself, and 2:) be too busy to listen. Asok: That sounds simplistic. Wally: I'm late for a meeting.

Wally Accepts Bribes

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally Accepts Bribes - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #bribe, #bribery, #money, #laziness, #work ethic

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: I started accepting bribes from co-workers to incent me to do my job. Dilbert: If it didn't work for your employer, why do they think it will work for them? Wally: Something about optimism. Dilbert: They didn't say why? Wally: All I know is that no one paid me to listen to them.

Rather Eat Garbage

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Rather Eat Garbage - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #choosing, #choices, #boredom, #listening, #trash, #garbage, #suffering

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: Would you rather eat garbage or listen to our boss talk about his weekend? Dilbert: I'd have to know more about the garbage to make that decision. Wally: Let's say it's mostly kitchen stuff. Dilbert: Am I eating it from the can or fighting birds for it?

Normals Are Dispensible

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Normals Are Dispensible - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #superiority, #microchip, #nanotechnology, #brain, #thinking, #superhuman

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I'm putting Randy on your project. He has a microchip embedded in his brain. So ignore whatever your inferior brain tells you to do and just listen to Randy. Dilbert: Doesn't that make me dispensable? Boss: We'll talk about Phase 2 later.

Tina Has Complaints Against His Boss

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Tina Has Complaints Against His Boss - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #human resources, #complaint, #ignore, #attention, #results, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Tina: I have complaints about my boss. Many, many complaints. Catbert: Tell me about it while I pretend to listen. Tina: Then you will look into my complaints? Catbert: Is there any way you would know if I didn't?

Listening To Your Gut

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Listening To Your Gut - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #rumor, #accusation, #skeptic, #gullible, #gut instinct

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: People tell me you're underperforming. Dilbert: Did you hear it from anyone credible? Boss: No, but I know it's true because my gut tells me it's true. Dilbert: I'm curious where you stick you head to listen to your gut?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #antisocial, #goals, #achievement, #aspirations, #frustration, #reality

View Transcript

Transcript

Tina: Wally, do you have goals? Wally: My goal is to be an Olympic pole vaulter. Tina: You don't look... Wally: Sporty? Tina: I was going to say healthy. Wally: That's why Olympic pole vaulting is my goal> I wouldn't need a goal to do something easy. Tina: Are you training for it? Wally: No. Tina: You're living in a fantasy world! You'll never get to the Olympics! I can't sit here and listen to this. Dilbert: Looks like you accomplished your goal. Wally: Thanks for noticing.