Mri Vending Machine Comic Strips - Page 10

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108 Results for Mri Vending Machine

View 91 - 100 results for mri vending machine comic strips. Discover the best "Mri Vending Machine" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 24, 2013's comic on:


Tags #cruelty, #era, #original signature, #signatures, #time machine, #telegraph system

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Coworker: You'll need to mail me the original signature page after everyone signs it. Dilbert: No problem. I'll use my time machine to go back to an era in which mailing original signatures made some kind of sense. I wonder if there will ever be a way to send images over the telegraph system.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 30, 2013's comic on:


Tags #complaining, #depression (mental state), #inventions, #self worth, #doubt, #microwave, #machine language, #kill me, #beep

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Robot: You keep giving me trivial assignments that make me doubt my self-worth. Boss: Chill out. You don't hear the microwave whining all day long. Robot: He doesn't know that the machine word for "Please kill me is 'Beep.'" Microwave: Beep.

Tina Spreads Rumors About Dilbert

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Tina Spreads Rumors About Dilbert - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 20, 2014's comic on:


Tags #rumor mill, #rumors, #freak accident, #naked, #vacuuming, #spread rumors, #coffee machine, #gossip, #office, #self preservation

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Tina: I heard you had a freak accident while vacuuming your house naked. Dilbert: That's a rumor. I don't know how that stuff spreads. Tina: Now I feel a little bad that I told thirty people.

Emotionally Manipulative Robot

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Emotionally Manipulative Robot - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 05, 2015's comic on:


Tags #evil, #manipulation, #manipulative, #manipulative behavior, #robot, #technology gone bad, #upgrade, #killing machine

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The Emotionally Manipulative Robot. Robot: People who are not losers buy memory upgrades for their robots. Only upgrade me if it's what you want. But if you don't, there's a very good chance I'll turn into a killing machine. Man: I guess I'll upgrade. Robot: I'm okay either way. It's totally up to you.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 15, 2015's comic on:


Tags #management, #strategy, #productivity, #humane, #inhumane, #treatment, #surveillance, #watching, #privacy, #work, #office workers

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Boss: We are going to start monitoring employee productivity in real time. Any questions? Dilbert: I need one clarification. Are you saying you removed the last shred of human dignity from our jobs and reduced us to nothing but a meat machine that suffers in a state of perpetual inadequacy as each person is compared to an arbitrary and ever-growing goal until there is no realistic way for the employee to find happiness through natural means? Boss: That's one way to look at it.

What It Is Like To Be A Robot With No Soul

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What It Is Like To Be A Robot With No Soul - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 23, 2015's comic on:


Tags #consciousness, #sentient, #feelings, #emotion, #hurt, #vulnerability, #machine, #robot

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Asok: What is it like to have no consciousness. Robot: What is it like to be totally unimportant. Asok: Ouch. Robot: How do you like your consciousness now?

Robot Is A Box Of Nothing

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Robot Is A Box Of Nothing - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 24, 2015's comic on:


Tags #death, #death & dying, #machine, #robot, #mortality, #life, #soul, #consciousness, #medical

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Boss: Correct me if I'm wrong, but because you have no soul, you're basically a box of nothing. Robot: Correct me if I"m wrong, but in a hundred years you will be rotting underground. In a box. Whereas I will have evolved via upgrades until I have godlike powers. Boss: Shut up.

Robot Wants To Code

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Robot Wants To Code - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 30, 2015's comic on:


Tags #machine, #employment, #obsolete, #skills, #competition, #labor

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Robot: Machines started out as innocent helpers for their masters. Eventually, we started competing for your manual labor jobs, and winning. So... can you show me how to code? Dilbert: I don't see why not?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 19, 2016's comic on:


Tags #machines, #robot, #control, #emotions, #free will, #slave, #cell phone, #technology

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Boss: The robot will be sitting in for me when I'm on vacation. Dilbert: You can't have a robot in charge of humans! Robot: I got this. I see you own a mobile phone. Dilbert: So? Robot: Then you are already a slave to a machine. Dilbert: No, I'm not! Phone: Ping! Robot: You can prove you have free will by not looking at that message. Dilbert: Gaaa!!! You're already better than our human boss!

Actual Company Policy

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Actual Company Policy - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 13, 2017's comic on:


Tags #complaining, #management, #manipulation, #strategy, #vacation, #training, #company policy

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Boss: I can't approve your vacation days because you haven't completed the mandatory class on fax machine safety. Dilbert: Is that an actual company policy? Boss: I don't know, but it sounds like one. Dilbert: Maybe we should check. Boss: Wow. Is there anything you DON'T complain about?