Never Sick Comic Strips - Page 10

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

688 Results for Never Sick

View 91 - 100 results for never sick comic strips. Discover the best "Never Sick" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #ratbert, #bob, #teamwork

View Transcript

Transcript

Ratbert rides on Bob the Dinosaur's back. Ratbert says, "What a team we make, Bob!" Ratbert continues, "Now I won't need to act pathetic to get love. I'll get all the spillover love that people naturally have for dinosaurs!" Someone says, "Eww! It's a huge lizard with a talking zit. I'm gonna be sick." Ratbert says, "Great . . . I got a defective dinosaur."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #pointer pen

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert arrives at home with burned clothes and clouds of smoke rising from his head. Dilbert asks, "Dogbert, do you know how my light pointer pen could have gotten set to maximum power?" Dogbert replies, "You never seem to grasp the humor in these situations. It's not as if you caused any permanent damage in the office." Dilbert says, "Actually, I wasted a temp named Carl in the next office." Dogbert says, "A temp - my point exactly."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #the boss, #alice, #worklife balance, #company

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice stands in front of the Boss's desk and says, "I'm working too many hours . . . I never spend time with my family." The Boss holds up a brochure and replies, "The company cares. That's why we've developed a program to teach you how to cope." Alice reads the pamphlet, "Celibacy and adoption - the choice for the nineties."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #the boss, #business report

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert hands the Boss a document and says, "Here's my time report, in fifteen minute increments." Dilbert says, "And here's my monthly project status, my budget forecast, my key accomplishments, my jeopardy list . . ." The Boss thinks as Dilbert walks away, "Never has so little been measured so much."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #the boss, #programmers, #unix

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits at his desk working on the computer. The Boss says, "My boss says we need some eunuch programmers." Dilbert replies, "I think he means Unix not eunuchs. And I already know Unix." The Boss says, "If the company nurse drops by, tell her I said 'never mind.'"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #outdoors, #Dogbert, #man

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert walks down the sidewalk humming. A man says, "Hey, Dogbert! Long time no see!" Dogbert covers his ears and says, "Ow!!" Dogbert says, "I've never been good at suffering fools."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #basketball, #Dogbert, #Dilbert, #michael jordan, #virtual reality

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert and Dogbert stand under a basketball hoop. Dilbert says, "You might as well admit I'm a better basketball player, Dogbert." Dogbert replies, "Never!" Dogbert jumps into the air holding the ball. Dogbert flies over Dilbert's head. Dilbert shouts, "No fair! You're hovering!" Dogbert replies, "It's just the illusion of 'hang time.' I learned it from Michael Jordan." Dogbert floats toward the rim and says, "It's a combination of great leaping skill plus the way I move my legs." Dogbert dunks the ball. Dilbert points to Dogbert, who hovers in midair. Dilbert says, "There! Right there! That's definitely hovering!!!" Dilbert and Dogbert sit on the couch wearing goggles and gloves. Dilbert says, "I think you tampered with the virtual reality program!" Dogbert says, "Play the game."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #alice, #clothespringles, #luggage, #invention

View Transcript

Transcript

A woman points at Dilbert's wrinkled clothes and asks him, "What happened to your clothes?" Dilbert answers, "I had them rolled up and stuffed in a 'Pringles' potato chip can for a week." Dilbert explains, "It's a prototype for my tubular luggage invention." The woman says, "Never speak to me again."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #air travel, #Dogbert, #salesperson, #map, #world, #travel

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert says to a salesperon in a store, "I'd like your biggest map of the world for my room." Dogbert says to the clerk, "I'd like this for free. In return, after I conquer the world I'll make you ambassador to France." The salesclerk says, "Does that require travel? I get air sick." Dogbert replies, "No problem. You'll have diplomatic immunity."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #organization chart, #management, #bottom, #most important employees, #payed least, #upside down chart

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: We've redesigned the organization chart to show management at the BOTTOM supporting our most important employees! Dilbert: Question: why do the most important employees get payed the least? The Boss; Because they would never think of ideas like this upside- down chart concept.