Newest Team Comic Strips - Page 10

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

242 Results for Newest Team

View 91 - 100 results for newest team comic strips. Discover the best "Newest Team" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #know first aid, #marketing, #picked intern, #engineering dead pool, #team building pot luck, #lunch, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok the Intern is lying on the floor with his legs sticking straight up in the air. Dilbert says to Wally, Alice and The Boss, "I'll see if the guys in marketing know First Aid." Ted says to Dilbert, "Really? I picked that intern in our engineering dead pool!" Dilbert says to Wally and Alice as Asok continues lying on the floor, "Apparently our team-building potluck lunch didn't take."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #ad agency, #creative team, #peter peters, #robert roberts, #holly hollister

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally looks on as The Boss introduces some new people. The Boss says, "I'd like you to meet our ad agency's creative team." Presenting 2 men and a woman, each of whom has a goatee, The Boss says, "Pete Peters, Robert Roberts, and Holly Hollister." Pete Peters says, "Witty remark, anyone?" Dilbert looks on as Robert Roberts says nothing and Holly Hollister says, "I've got nothing."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #ad agency, #stick man, #fire, #gets eaten, #exact science

View Transcript

Transcript

THE AD AGENCY: Pete Peters of the Creative Team holds up a picture of a stick figure and says, "The stick man runs through a tire fire and gets eaten by a giant wolverine." Sitting between Wally and Dilbert at the table, The Boss asks, "Will that make people like us?" Pete Peters says, "It's not an exact science."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #ad agency, #wise to insult, #monirotity groups, #commercial, #worst thing, #spit on flag, #difficult client list

View Transcript

Transcript

THE AD AGENCY: The Boss asks Pete Peters of the Creative Team, "Is it wise to insult all of these minority groups in our commercial?" Pete says to The Boss, "What's the worst thing that could happen?" The Boss asks, "Does our company have to spit on a flag?" Pete says, "That's it; you're on my 'difficult client' list now."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #advertise, #dogberts, #magazine, #piece of junk, #stand on head, #subscribe, #ten page ad, #totally objective review, #technology magazine

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert says to The Boss, "I'm a reporter for 'Dogbert's Technology Magazine'." Dogbert says to The Boss, "I'm writing a totally objective review of your newest product." Dogbert says to The Boss, "First question: Will you advertise in my magazine or is your new product a piece of junk?" The Boss says, "Um... We'll advertise." Dogbert continues, "Will it be a multi-page ad or is your new product a piece of junk?" The Boss says, "It'll be a ten-page ad!" Dogbert says to The Boss, "Can you stand on your head for an hour or is your new product a piece of junk?" As The Boss stands on his head, Dogbert says, "Would you like to subscribe to my magazine? It's ten pages of ads."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #company's core values, #trust, #integrity, #team work, #borrow a chair, #selling on ebay

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok thinks to himself, "I must keep in mind our company's core values of trust, integrity and teamwork." Wally enters Asok's cubicle and says, "May I borrow your chair?" Asok says, "Okay" Wally is at the computer as Dilbert approaches and asks, "What are you selling on E-Bay?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #designed product, #gaping hole, #market, #miracle team work, #actual afeatures, #eaten by squirrels

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert stands in front of a complex model. He points on the screen and says, "I designed a product that could fill a gaping hole in the market." Dilbert continues his presentation, pointing to a new slide with two shapes on it, nothing more. He says, "But thanks to the miracle of teamwork it turned into a product with no actual features." The next slide Dilbert points to shows a picture of himself in bed, laughing. He says, "In Phase three I fantasized about my coworkers being eaten by squirrels."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #team work, #natures way, #identify weak, #perpetuating genes, #negative spin, #boss puts spin

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss is sitting at his desk. Wally addresses him, "Teamwork is nature's way of identifying the weak." Wally continues, "The strong, such as myself, put all of our energy into perpetuating our genes." Wally concludes, "Now this is when you usually try to put a negative spin on everything."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #process meeting, #solve problem, #develop process, #generating ideas, #meeting, #cross - discilinary, #swat team, #offsite meeting, #meeting as firewall, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok, The Boss, and Dilbert are sitting next to each other at a meeting. Asok raises his hand excitedly and says, "Ooh! Ooh! I know how to solve that problem!" The Boss replies, "Not so fast, Asok." Asok looks sullen as the Boss continues, "This isn't the solution meeting. This is the process meeting." The Boss continues, "Our goal is to develop a process for generating ideas to solve the problem." Wally turns to Asok and The Boss and says, "We don't know how to develop processes. Someone should have a meeting about that." Wally continues, "Someone like... a cross-disciplinary SWAT team in an offsite lockup meeting." The Boss says, "Hmm.. good idea." He then looks at Dilbert from the corner of his eye and finishes, "I guess this meeting is over." Wally continues to talk to Asok as they're walking out of the meeting. He says, "You see, Asok. You can only thwart a meeting by inventing other meetings to act as a firewall." The Boss approaches Asok at his desk and says, "Asok, I'm putting you on a cross-disciplinary SWAT team."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #creativity exercise, #device, #converts air to electricty, #create a missle, #defense laser, #scissors holder

View Transcript

Transcript

Headline: Creativity Exercise. A man stands in front of a machine and says to a group, "Team One made a device that converts air to electricity." The man stands in front of a different group. He claps and says, "Team Two used their hour to create a missile defense laser." The man approaches Dilbert, The Boss, Alice, and Wally and asks, "Team Three, do you need more time?" The Boss responds, "It's a scissors holder!"